Friday, March 31, 2006

Quite An Extraordinary Month This Has Been...


Barefoot Abby and I spent some time tonight, reflecting on everything that has happened this month. I have been faced with monumental decisions and missions that have taken me to places even I never dreamed of. Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Suzy were tested physically and mentally, and have proven themselves some of the bravest and most capable barefoot women currently existing, in my opinion. Barefoot Tefé is improving her teenage adult life in leaps and bounds in her struggle to find herself, and struggling, perhaps too late--to graduate and make us proud. New friends such as the adventurous Barefoot Lady Blackhawk, the exoticly alluring Mermaid Lori Lemaris, and members of the Shadowpact are coming to light. Things have never been more interesting. And as always, the nightmares still abound. The myriad perils of the Infinite Crisis, Arcane, Sargon, Nebiros, Woodrue, King Toad, are always lurking in the back of our minds. But hope still reigns supreme, and love conquers all. Let this be a testament to our sagas and quests for happiness, freedom, and peace on this Modern Philosopher's Day.


Next:
April Fools Day, And The Roaming Gnome.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/04/april-fools-day-and-roaming-gnome.html

Thursday, March 30, 2006

The Barefoot Black Orchid and Blue Devil. Will True Love Prevail?


Barefoot Suzy sent me an e-mail expressing her love and continuing devotion for Dan Cassidy, the Blue Devil.


re: Barefoot Susan Linden-Thorne-Weems II wrote:

"I love Daniel. I love him so much, Blue Devil take me! He's just so grateful I'm safe and no longer under Nebiros' influence, but it's clear he is more concerned about his feelings for Barefoot Eve Eden and her abduction. I don't feel anger or jealousness about this, confusion mostly. I want to propose marriage to him, but he's so afraid of commitment and ceremony. I suppose I am scared too, just a little. So I need to ask you this. May we use one of your tubers like you and Barefoot Abby do? Just once? As one of your most loyal barefoot lady consorts of your good court, I feel I must ask for this, along with your great blessing. This would give us the kind of closeness we so desperately need. Please just give it some thought. It would mean so much to me, and to us. Love and blessings always, Barefoot Suzy."


I will give this matter consideration. Barefoot Suzy's love and happiness is all that matters to me, for that is what I feel is most important here.


Next:
Quite An Extraordinary Month This Has Been...
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/quite-extraordinary-month-this-has.html

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Our Demonic Armageddon Battle With The Barefoot Dark Hellchid.


The Shadowpact and I fought an extremely violent battle with the Barefoot Dark Hellchid today. We were in Bucharest, Romania--and the conflict took place under the foreboding omen of a solar eclipse. [the sign of the Shadowpact's nemesis, Eclipso] The menacing creature who was once my beloved young barefoot protégée, Barefoot Suzy, the Barefoot Black Orchid was now the demon-possessed fiendish barefoot archvillainess known to us as the Barefoot Dark Hellchid. After the eclipse lapsed we were joined later in the evening, shortly before sunset, by the Phantom Stranger who warned us that if this battle did not end soon, there would be dire consequences. This enraged Blue Devil, for he wanted the monster captured alive, to extract and save his barefoot lover, Barefoot Suzy. He told the Stranger to go to Hell and this is how we left him.

The battle continued across many Romanian provinces, it completely levelled the Transylvanian village in which my barefoot wife, Barefoot Abby was born. In the long-abandoned and obliterated ruins of Castle Arcane, in the mountains high above, our endgame came into play. Having adapted myself to the Barefoot Dark Hellchid's mystic flames, I overtook and restrained her. Blue Devil pinned her lithe nude body to me harmlessly with his trident. Then, the Barefoot Enchantress was at last able to perform the exorcism, at no risk to herself or anyone present. The demonic entity inhabiting the nude Dryadic nymph barefoot superheroine vanished, and Barefoot Suzy's true and non-threatening features re-emerged. Her purple-magenta color returned to her nude body, her eyes steamed harmlessly once more. Her mind and emotions returned to normal. Bewildered, Barefoot Suzy asked what was happening. Blue Devil told her it was over and she was safe now. The young couple kissed and we all felt immense relief that this had all ended well. I have returned back home to the swamp now. I will be heading to Barefoot Abby's house to celebrate this precious victory, with my beloved barefoot wife. It's good to be home after a job well done.


Next:
The Barefoot Black Orchid and Blue Devil. Will True Love Prevail?
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/black-orchid-and-blue-devil-will-true.html

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

The Barefoot Black Orchid: Possessed By The Demon Nebiros!


Terrifying news tonight arrived from the Shadowpact:


re: Demon-Man Dan, Hell's Blue Devil-Man wrote:

"Swamp Thing. We got some serious problems here! Barefoot Suzy tagged along with the Shadowpact, as we set out to find a suitable magical method to trackdown the Barefoot Power Girl, Barefoot Lady Nightshade, and the others who seem to be abducted, rather than killed off. I say it's that damned Society of Villains that's murdered so many of our greatest friends. Nightmaster, the Barefoot Enchantress, Ragman and the Chimp aren't so sure about that. I'm outvoted here. Anyway, Barefoot Suzy said she's back and she'll work with us on this, whether she's one of us or not. Good, I said. Without Barefoot Lady Nightshade, we're a member short anyway. Barefoot Enchantress took us to this old castle in Transylvania, straight out of Dracula. She worked up a spell that could have taken us to where the missing heroes are, assuming they're still alive. While she was casting, Felix Faust popped up out of nowhere and shouted he was going to have his revenge. He blasted me with a mystical bolt and Barefoot Suzy picked up my trident [I dropped it.] and she got ready to charge him with it. Having planned it this way, Faust cast a spell that forced her to invoke Nebiros with my magical pitch fork. Before I could grab her mouth and shut her up, she gone and did it. Barefoot Black Orchid is now possessed, proclaimed herself as the "Barefoot Dark Hellchid" and then she stabbed me with my own trident, right through the chest! Pinned to the floor and bleeding out fire, I was helpless to protect the rest of the Shadowpact from her. She asked me if I was more to her liking sexually for now that she was a barefoot demon-girl. I told Nebiros to go back to Hell and leave my barefoot girfriend alone. The Barefoot Dark Hellchid said she was just getting started. Nightmaster charged her with his sword, but she knocked the weapon out of his hand and kicked his ass to the floor unconscious as he tried to retrieve it. She had this big claw hand and was just about to cut off Barefoot Enchantress's head with it, but ended up nearly gutting Ragman instead, who gallantly jumped in the way to protect his favorite barefoot witch. Now that's a man! Detective Chimp went running scared at this point. The Barefoot Dark Hellchid chased after the little monkey in her flight. Short and hairy ditched her, then made his way back to the rest of us, just after Felix Faust had his last laugh at our expense and disappeared. Chimp has no idea where Barefoot Suzy went, but we can all guess she's up to no good, as she's being possessed by Nebiros and all. Chimp did get this picture of her before she left when all the lightning started. It's all we've got. Good thing we still have you looking after us, as our big-shot ace in the swamps. You fought off Nebiros' possession, several years before I became Blue Devil. You know how to fight him when he pulls this kind of thing. We can only keep Barefoot Enchantress [who's pretty pissed off right now] from casting a spell that will kill Barefoot Suzy and send her to Hell with Nebiros only for so long. You're the only hope Barefoot Suzy has left. Get ready for us. We'll come get you and then you'll ride with us, soon as we make sure Ragman's gonna be okay. His costume's healing him. The hole in my chest is almost fixed itself, so I'm all good here. Hang in there and don't freak on us. Devil, gone."


re: Jim Rook, the Nightmaster wrote:

"Time is of the essence, Swamp Thing. Be prepared. Jim."


re: The Chimp Who Can Solve All Your Problems wrote:

"Get ready to haul grass, spinach head. Your barefoot hottie purple sidekick's got blood on her bare hands. She's in for it big time, if you blow this one and let her down. So you better get it right on this gig. See you in a little bit, Chimp."


My possession by Nebiros in 1975 cost Father Jonathan Bliss his life and his soul as he took the demon into his own frail form, which burned in the exorcism to save me and the world from Armageddon. Now Barefoot Suzy is possessed by the evil monstrosity. I must not fail to save her, no matter what occurs. The Shadowpact are here. It is time for my departure. I will report more on this later.


Next:
Our Demonic Armageddon Battle With The Barefoot Dark Hellchid.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/our-demonic-armageddon-battle-with.html

Monday, March 27, 2006

A Force To Be Reckoned With...


Barefoot Abby and I confronted King Toad today. We regarded the low, pathetically vile creature together with our quiet hatred. He shouted at us and mocked us in his bitter contempt. He tried to spit at Barefoot Abby's nude body. Next, he attempted once more to try to free himself from the Prison Tree I have him trapped within. Then he shouted for his wretched Bayou Boys to come out and kill us. Cowards and fools that Nerk and Sissy Bob are--they wouldn't come out of hiding. King Toad expressed his outrage at this intrusion of his solitude with a scream. His minions awoke within the tree, and they all screamed too, fearing my judgment was at hand. No, not yet. Certainly not now. We turned away, leaving the foolish creature to his fate.


Next:
The Barefoot Black Orchid: Possessed By The Demon Nebiros!
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/black-orchid-possessed-by-demon.html

Sunday, March 26, 2006

A Pleasant Night Alone With Barefoot Abby.


Our friends left us today. The Barefoot Black Orchid and Blue Devil are going to try to work on their relationship problems. Barefoot Abby assures them it is worth the time. When we were alone in Barefoot Abby's house, we shared a solemn moment. We have have been through a lot over the years to reach this stage in our lives. It is good to know we can inspire others with our experiences.

Never in her personality to dwell too often, Barefoot Abby took my hand and led me out the back door of her house. She took up the golf club in the clearing of her garden and positioned a ball before her beautiful always bare feet in the cold wet grass. After several swinging demonstrations she handed me the club and insisted that I give it a try. In my first swing, unfortunately, I underestimated my strength and broke the club in half. Undaunted, Barefoot Abby rushed into the house and came back out with a spare club to play with.
This time, she showed me how to handle the club properly. Still, I hit the ball rather hard and it bounced. Barefoot Abby lost track of it with her flashlight. I told her to observe in my direction:

My "Arcane" look. Don't try this at home, my friends...

We continued the practice session, and between further amusements, I progressed rather nicely. I learned how to strike the ball in the distance and direction I desired. Then she showed me how to putt the ball into it's hole. It was much like watching a bird build a nest. Barefoot Abby was very proud of my successful golf playing lesson. Detective Chimp had better watch out. For there's a new supernatural golf player in town. And now that I'm qualified, I intend to give him some extremely sporting competition next weekend.


Next:
A Force To Be Reckoned With...
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/force-to-be-reckoned-with.html

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Playing Golf With Detective Chimp.

When It Comes To His Golf Playing,
Detective Chimp Doesn't Monkey Around...

Barefoot Abby, Barefoot Suzy and I were invited by Blue Devil and
Detective Chimp to come play golf with them today. It seemed like
an excellent idea. Barefoot Abby was thrilled to finally meet the Devil
and the Chimp after hearing so much about them from Barefoot Suzy.
The Chimp played an impressive first round, and he challenged
Barefoot Abby to surprass it. She gave it her best shot. Her lean
athletic nude body moved well-- her club striking the ball evenly.
"Hey. This is going to be so much fun." She said.

Barefoot Abby played an excellent game, but she still lost to the
Chimp. She was about to congratulate him for doing so well, but
he began to tease and taunt all of us with his golfing prowess,
which goaded Blue Devil and the Barefoot Black Orchid's egos
to no end, as he set out to make his next play.

Blue Devil was up next to the challenge. He was determined
to win this game. "No way I'm losing to the Chimp. Like Hell,
and I've been there. Bring it on!"

Despite Dan Cassidy's hard effort attempts, he too, lost to the
Chimp. Blue Devil was none to happy about it, as he'd made a
wager with the Chimp. Now it was looking like the talking
primate was about to carry the game home.

But then it came the Barefoot Black Orchid's turn. Barefoot Suzy
carefully positioned her beautiful nude purple body for each strike,
moderately surveying the distances with her steam-filled eyes.
She was dead-set upon winning this game to perfection.
"You want to play golf, Chimp. This is how you play it. Not with
words, but with actions."

Barefoot Suzy made a hole-in-one! It was game over for Detective
Chimp. "Next weekend," He insisted. the Barefoot Black Orchid and
Blue Devil were counting on it. Perhaps next time I shall have a play
of my own. It was a pleasurable diversion, though perhaps the
highlight of the day was this:

Barefoot Suzy's favorite past time. Flirting with Blue Devil.

Today was good fun. It is a sensation I am still getting used to,
thanks to Barefoot Abby and our interesting and entertaining friends.


Next:
A Pleasant Night Alone With Barefoot Abby.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/pleasant-night-alone-with-abby.html

Friday, March 24, 2006

Barefoot Tefé Had A Very Busy Week.

Barefoot Tefé's Young Life Is Working Out, Swimmingly.

re: Barefoot Tefé Holland wrote:

"Hey, Dad. Had a hell of a lot to do these past few days. I have to thank you for having Barefoot Suzy hang out at Mom's house all week. She really saved my sexy nude butt on catching me up on my stupid homework. Good thing she's so highly intelligent, because I hate studying all the time. The things you have to do to graduate! Mom's been really nice to me too, even sold some of the plants in the backyard to help me pay off Barefoot Zaina's car. Brought in more than I thought. That's just awesome. Then Mom sat me down and had me paint some more stuff, sold the pictures and cashed that into my account. Mom says I'm creative and I need to recognize that. Whatever. As you can see in the above pic, my bare breasts are really starting to fill-out really well now, making my nude pole dancing nights I do at the clubs, and at the international pole sport championships I've been competing in,--all the more interesting! Mom's also impressed, and she's staying in pretty damn good shape for her age, too. She's still sexy as hell, just like me. It's time we picked us out a decent nude modeling agency. Pemberton Studios in California's still a bunch of crooks. Troy-Anders in New York went under a few years back. That leaves the really big one: McCabe International. Mom says McCabe's always treated her well-- so that's what we'll go with. And the escort business is booming. When I graduate, there will be plenty more time for the high-end clients. Wealthy elite gentlemen do prefer sexy healthy young barefoot platinum blondes, after all. Money won't be a problem for this naturist barefoot swamp girl. Nothing's going to cramp my style in this life! Anyway, I went to a nude pool party after school, cleaned it out for free just because I'm beautiful and I don't want the other barefoot girls to be jealous of me, blah blah. Another day in the life of Barefoot Tefé Holland. But it's all worth it because of Barefoot Zaina. It's just good to feel wanted. I'm so tired out. It's so insane, living like this. That's normal life for me. It's a good National Family Day, even if I don't have time to dive into the swamp and swim on out to see you. I'm so exhausted, if I tried to make the long swim, I'd probably either fucking drown and/or get eaten by another one of those God-damned fucking alligators, assuming I somehow couldn't get my Barefoot Queen of The Jungle hunting knife off my nude waist-chain fast enough to kill it, or simply hold my damn breath for long enough, like I must always do to survive those treacherous underwater battles with the wildlife predators of the swamp, so I can surface in one piece, stay beautiful, and stay on top of the damn food chain! And then there's all those hidden volcanic mud pits I tend to sink into. Not every good mud bath I dive into out in the swamp is planned. Sometimes it's just oozing between my always barefoot toes and then I suddenly just fall in and go right on down completely under the mud with barely time to grab a good breath, and the mud just fills up my mouth, gets all in my ears, and right up my fucking little nose. It's great! The adrenaline, the emotions, the feminine sensuality of natural submission, and the elation of assertively struggling to swim out while still submerged, and ultimately succeeding, emerging, and surviving! And recovering myself. And standing right up on my own two always bare feet again. Damn, if that doesn't make me feel like a sensual and all-natural barefoot woman! Pure survival. It's better than sex! Even if all that mud is great for my skin and for cleansing for my long fine hair, and the necessary breath-holds for all those sudden dunkings that always happen when I go completely under and I have to swim out and not panic, it really helps my endurance and strength and stamina and all, but still... Is it any wonder all those city slickers are always so creeped out by these beautiful swamps? Yeah, I know you're proud of me for my newfound experience of taking care of myself, completely naked and unafraid, out in the swamps without powers. It's totally worth it to stand on my own two healthy pedicured dirty-soled feminine bare feet, but doing all that--surviving against all those odds--it's not particularly easy sometimes, even if I love the swamps with all my heart and soul. I do love the beaches just as much, and they are a whole lot safer place to be and for a sensual barefoot girl to swim and sun-bathe her naked body to just relax and get a good nude tan, you know? I'm only human now that my powers are gone, for now. Sometimes it's just better to kick back and sip margaritas on the beach and submissively have memorable sex in the sea and sun with one of my wealthier client masters especially now that those rich successful gentlemen know better than to ever marry. Hey, a high-end escort's got to find time bring home the money too! My beauty sleep and personal refreshment comes first. I need to retire young and beautiful and wealthy and successful myself someday, before hitting that dreaded deadline wall. Yes, it really is that important. Hope you understand. Time for my total body and hair massage. Takes a while to wash the massage oil conditioner out of my long-ass head of gorgeous white hair. Later, Barefoot Tefé."


Beautiful Barefoot Tefé's progress is most gratifying. She is improving rapidly. This is a positive experience most rewarding for me to bear witness.
May she never fall again, and always make me so very proud.


Next:
Playing Golf With Detective Chimp.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/playing-golf-with-detective-chimp.html

Thursday, March 23, 2006

A Relatively Peaceful Night In The Swamp...


Things have been rather quiet tonight. After conducting my regular search for monsters Nerk and Bob. Finishing my latest torture/interrogation of King Toad, I went over to Barefoot Abby's house to check on Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Suzy, and to inquire as to Barefoot Tefé's continuing maturity and development.
Barefoot Abby reports she and Barefoot Suzy have helped each other tremendously. Barefoot Abby feels safer at night with Barefoot Suzy there standing loyally by her side, since I am often unable to attend that responsibility myself. The Barefoot Black Orchid's beautiful purple nude breasts shimmer pleasantly in the moonlight.

The barefoot women have talked openly about Barefoot Abby witnessing Barefoot Candy Taylor's grisly fate, as well as the suffering Barefoot Suzy endured when she was savagely raped two days afterward. Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Suzy both despise the monstrosity named Nerk with a passion. Barefoot Abby expressed relief at my assurances that any or all of Barefoot Suzy's infections, or possible impregnation, have been properly attended to with my imperative administrations of her. Sadly, due to the intensity of Barefoot Suzy's rape and the resulting abortive requirements, there may never be more of Barefoot Suzy's kind as a result of this, for despite Barefoot Abby's recent gift of approval--it may be impossible for Barefoot Suzy and I to ever procreate another great garden of Barefoot Black Orchids, such as the one doomed to Barefoot Suzy's long-deceased barefoot sister/adopted barefoot mother, after the elder Barefoot Black Orchid and I had founded it in the Amazon jungles, years ago. Nor will Barefoot Suzy ever be able to have any children with her lover, Blue Devil. These are difficult times for us all, but we push on as we must. For this is who and what we are and what we need to be.


Next:
Barefoot Tefé Had A Very Busy Week.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/tef-had-very-busy-week.html

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Batman: The Dark Knight Denied.


The Batman visited the swamp tonight. His Batplane landed smoothly on the runway I had made for Barefoot Lady Blackhawk. He approached, his mask allowing his eyes to adjust perfectly to the darkness. The Batman asked if I was prepared to do my part in his quest to locate and destroy the Brother Eye satellite. He asked that I create a distraction, to allow his strike force to attack and disable the mechanism without casualties. Given consideration to Constantine's warnings against being involved in the Infinite Crisis, I outwardly refused. I wouldn't endanger the denizens of my community and environment for this reason. "Fair enough." he said, unsurprised by my refusal. He would have to contact the Checkmate organization to initiate his backup plan. He and his fellow heroes must put their plans on hold until then. Yet he seemed not at all upset by this denial, as if he has a new steadfast advantage and my cooperation would have put it into immediate effect if I had accepted his request. His willingness to accept the delay is also part of his strategy it seems. He departed without another word. Like Superman, he's now a changed man. I cannot help but wonder what the future holds for these heroes. Everything seems so different than it was before. Let's hope the Batman and his allies will be able to put an end to the dangers threatened by the OMAC Project, for that victory will bring them closer to ending this Infinite Crisis once and for all.


Next:
A Relatively Peaceful Night In The Swamp...
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/relatively-peaceful-night-in-swamp.html

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Further Correspondence From Constantine.


John Constantine is back on the blog with more dark comedy, criticisms and commentary:


re: Hellblazer John, the F-'ing Ex-Con wrote:

"Greetings From Glasgow, Chief. Finally made it here after some considerable delays. Saw the Blackhawk bird fly overhead twice last weekend. So you finally made it across the pond to check up on Barefoot Lady Jane's new lodgings and sleeping arrangement, eh? Right. Then, you sent the barefoot women packing off to Ireland as you sauntered over back home. I understand one of your barefoot ladyfriends gave that ruder-than-noise Leprechaun his just desserts. And that's just recent tricks. You seem to have things squared away. Up until Barefoot Poison Ivy's recent visit to the swamp, that is. Woodrue's bad news. Always has been. Why you didn't humour Barefoot Ivy's request is beyond me. Now when the bollocks hit the fan, you'll have only yourself to blame. Barefoot Zatanna getting a mindwipe right? Don't count your cobblers on it. Even I couldn't get it to work. And I know her. She screws it up every time. The bloody JLA were too damn off-putting in their scope to notice. You wouldn't believe the times I tried to get Barefoot Zatanna to lay off from it all, before she jolly well goes down in searing flames like her father did in her place all those years back. But no, you take a half-arsed report from your little representative barefoot concubine that Woodrue's been properly lobotomized and polish your coat of arms like it's nothing, all goodness and relief. Just wait until it comes back to bite you. Just wait... And another thing, didn't I tell you to stay out of all these Infinite Crisis affairs our boy Alex Luthor is stirring up? That bit of advice also very well applies to the Barefoot Black Orchid, for the nonce. Don't let her run off again anytime soon, mate. Keep the barefoot flower at home. Don't let her out until the 52 weeks of peace and quiet following the fireworks are in effect. By then things won't be so quiet for you, but everywhere else is fair game for the solidarity she's looking for. The reason for your unrest while the rest of the world quiets down? There's a double-edged sword. But I'll leave that up for you and your chum Woodrue to decide. Congrats to Barefoot Tefé for getting her act together after all this time. I knew my barefoot girl had it in her, but don't let her get behind on the payments. You know how used car dealers have been these past couple of years. One step out of line, and they pop your cap. Or make you wish they had. Take that business with the Barefoot Wonder Woman on the telly for instance. Now, I'm not forgetting Barefoot Abby. Keep fanning the flames of her resolve, Chief. She's going to be your rock when things get tough. While I'm at this, I'll admit to a wee bit of a problem of my own. Did Barefoot Abby ever mention how she used to have empathy fits in her late teens, when she wasn't much older than Barefoot Tefé is now? It was due to her not wanting to take up dear old Uncle Anton on his magical training promises.
She lost herself a few times, chasing after you at dearly departed Matt Cable's side. It's also the reason she fell so hard for you. Mystery solved on that one. But what happens when unwanted empathy goes south? That's the problem I'm getting now I'm off the magic books for good. Or at least until the 10th age starts. I want it gone, Chief. Shared feelings are the pits. I'm not all hearts and flowers like Barefoot Abby. Empathy is the enemy, as my new Scottish chronicler Barefoot Denise Mina puts it. I'll find an out-- I always manage to. Management is something most people aren't good at these days, so that puts me a bit ahead. Until I figure on this and get back to you, Tally ho! and all that, John. Happy 21st Spring Rite Handfasting Anniversary to you and Barefoot Abby. Cheers, mate!"


As always, Constantine raises more questions than he answers.
But then, this method is nothing new with him...


Next:
Batman: The Dark Knight Denied.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/batman-dark-knight-denied.html

Monday, March 20, 2006

Barefoot Tefé's New Car!


Barefoot Tefé bought her new car for Barefoot Zaina today.
She is very exciting about this purchase as her e-mail confirms:


re: Barefoot Tefé Holland wrote:

"Well Dad, I did it! Barefoot Zaina just finished the paperwork and I wrote the check for the down payment on our new used car! Hot damn, this awesome ride is so rocking! What a dream. Couldn't be happier, so I'll check out on a high note. Keep up the morale, Dad. You're the best. Love, Barefoot Tefé."


I am so very happy for Barefoot Tefé. If anyone's earned this she certainly has on this Teenager's Day.


Next:
Further Correspondence From Constantine.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/further-correspondence-from.html

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Weekend Tour of Ireland: An Update From Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Suzy.

Where have Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Suzy been for the last two days? Why, spending St. Patrick's Day Weekend in Ireland with Barefoot Lady Blackhawk, of course! I'll let both of these always beautiful barefoot women tell the story:

re: Barefoot Abigail Arcane-Cable-Holland wrote:

"Hi. Barefoot Abby here, Alec. Hope that picture of me got your attention! Torc Waterfall in County Kerry, Ireland was a spectacular place to lounge. Barefoot Suzy and I camped there for the night and we bathed nude under these gorgeous waterfalls all of the next day while Barefoot Lady Blackhawk went clubbing all night at the local pubs and she slept [allegedly alone, smile!] in her plane. Take a look at this pic I took of Barefoot Suzy when she flew us up to the top and took a breather:

Isn't she impressive? Anyway, over to Barefoot Suzy.
Love you always, Barefoot Abby."


re: Barefoot Susan Linden-Thorne-Weems II wrote:

"There's even more in the telling, Alec!
Barefoot Zinda won some pub gambling game with high stakes!
Here's our lucky little barefoot lady winner in her all her glory:

The fun didn't stop there! She entered the sexy "Irish Green" mudwrestling contest, and, of course, she won that too!

"Does this mud make my butt look fat?", She giggled.
"Hell, no!" and "Your ass looks stunning!", We laughed.

And if luck wasn't the theme of the weekend:
Lucky waterfall location, Lucky winnings, etc.

Then wait until you see what we encountered next:

Yes! We were accosted by an actual magical Leprechaun from Shamrock Land, demanding the location of his misplaced gold! Fortunately, my childhood experiences crusading in Free Country prepared me for this. Without giving the Leprechaun any chance to strike, I lifted him up into the air and flew off with him. He was surprised by this swift action to say the least. Using my best intuition, I found his pot of lost gold situated under a rainbow.
I dropped him into the pot of gold, where he sank and seemingly drowned. Then I hid the tainted treasure where no one will find it, making sure all the gold pieces stayed together. And that was our weekend. We're coming back and will see you soon. Stay well, Alec. Barefoot Suzy."


The barefoot women in my life lead the most eventful lives imaginable. I never fail to be admirably inspired with them.

"I would live my life,
as like the river flows,
carried by the surprise,
of its own unfolding."
- Poet John O'Donohue.


Next:
Barefoot Tefé's New Car!
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/tefs-new-car.html

Sunday Fishing With My Barefoot Naked Survivalist Friends.

Barefoot Louise-Marie, quite a catch for her husband Jean.

I went net fishing with my new Cajun friends I met last weekend, Jean and Barefoot Louise-Marie de Le Beau this morning. The couple have taken out a loan to replace their hurricane-damaged house with a new house-boat, and tomorrow the down payment is due before some one else picks it up. They desperately need to catch and sell fresh fish at the market today, lest they be saddled with interest charges. That's where I came in. They told me no one makes demands of the Good Gumbo Man. But they remembered my kindness and asked for the favor of my divine blessing on today's fishing effort. I offered my help. They were overjoyed and grateful. Barefoot Louise-Marie's pretty smile contrasted perfectly on her typically extremely dirty survivalist camper's face. She soon plunged her completely grime-darkened nude body into the cool drink. She desperately needed the bath after sleeping so many nights naked in the mud, away from the water, as well as needing the exercise. She looked much better getting clean during her swim, of course. Yes indeed, she was having the time of her life! While she was adjusting the nets illuminated under Jean's flashlight, I took this splendid picture of her with my digital camera. Barefoot Abby will be quite impressed with the picture, for the Cajun Folk have been kind to her over the years. When the couple had finished their work swimming and were back to driving the boat, I remained underwater and began the process of attracting the reluctant fish and shrimp toward the nets. Success! Now all they have to concern themselves with is the effort and responsiblity of hauling it all safely to market. But first I had to get them to stop thanking me and praising my name. Now they can live happily on the water, and never have to sleep in the dirt again. Good for them. It's good to have friends that revere me so deeply. But essentially, I am merely trying to be as human as they are. I have helped them when they needed it most, and that is what is so important to understand.


Next:
Weekend Tour of Ireland: An Update From Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Suzy.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/weekend-tour-of-ireland-update-from.html

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Barefoot Tefé: Pooling Her Resources.


Barefoot Tefé has some good news concerning her desire to buy a car to share with her beautiful barefoot lesbian lover, Barefoot Zaina:


re: Barefoot Tefé Holland wrote:

"I'll make this one short and sweet, Dad. I did it! I have enough cash transferred to my bank account back home to start buying Barefoot Zaina's car when we get back to Houma! Who would have thought pool cleaning in Rio would pay off so well? People party like crazy down here in Brazil and a lot of underwater pool filters needed my attention. Add that to my nude beach modeling and all my online entertainment videos, my shell and pearl free-diving profits, my painting, the arts and crafts I sold at Mardi Gras, all the sexy pole sport championship winnings, the nude dancing and mud wrestling tournaments I always do at the clubs, the massages I give at the nudist resort, and with all my underwater pool cleaning done I come up with at least two hundred left after the down payment. How cool is that? I'm so excited for Barefoot Zaina, it's her first car of her own. She says it's mine too, but I'll make her do all the driving, because I don't care at all for being behind a wheel. All I care about is this will make Barefoot Zaina happy, and maybe someday this year or next, she'll be ready to accept the truth about me and I'll introduce you to her. Until then, I'm just going to be as easygoing with her as possible before trying to go on the level about you again. Damn, I'm good. Since this is National Forgive Mom and Dad Day, let me say everything's clear with us, okay? Love you, Dad! See you on Monday, Barefoot Tefé."


I cannot express the pleasure this news has brought to me.
Barefoot Tefé's emotional problems seem to be resolved at this time.
I am quite satisfied she has managed to fit in to her new life so wonderfully.


Next:
Sunday Fishing With My Barefoot Naturist Friends.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/sunday-fishing-with-my-friends.html

Friday, March 17, 2006

St. Patrick's Day and Barefoot Lady Jane.


This is Barefoot Lady Jane. She was the Swamp Thing of the Victorian Age of the 1800s. She confronted white slavery and abuse of children when she first came into being in early industrial England. She studied mysticism during the twilight years of Barefoot Lady Johanna Constantine. She took to horseback riding and vigilantism, and was associated in membership with the Justice Brigade of the American Old West. She later joined the Parliament of Trees and was devoted to their standards for well over 95 years. For the last decade she has been lost to us. Tormented in a hellish fate inflicted by the archangel known only as the Word, who himself had been since slain. Now she has mysteriously rematerialized, but not in the burned out Amazon jungle where she had fallen. Barefoot Lady Jane's currently in Sussex, England. She is very much alive, but in a restful state perhaps never to awaken. She is believed to be a sculpture, commonly referred to as "The Sleeping Giant." But I know she dwells within that idle form. Barefoot Abby, Barefoot Suzy and I went there today to pay our respects on a pilgrimage to this site. As I had hoped, Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Suzy have come to greater resolves in their discussions over Barefoot Lady Jane. All the doubts, fears, regrets, and terrors they face today were also dealt with by Barefoot Lady Jane long ago. She is proving to be an inspiration to the barefoot women present here. Except for our barefoot lady pilot, Barefoot Lady Blackhawk who is merely disappointed she didn't collect bottles of the healing mud on our last flight, claiming that one mud bath had been the best body soap, facial, and shampoo she'd ever had, and that there is no such prize to be found here. It was a good way to spend St. Patrick's Day, and tonight Barefoot Zinda intends to take Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Suzy to Ireland to partake of the Luck of the Irish night life. I have since returned home to await the beautiful barefoot women's arrival here in the swamp tomorrow or later. Barefoot Lady Jane remains an issue that is unresolved. But in her case, that is for the best. She is alive again and slumbering beautifully. She is completely at peace now. That is what matters.


Next:
Barefoot Tefé: Pooling Her Resources.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/tef-pooling-her-resources.html

Thursday, March 16, 2006

This Is What Friends Are Made For!

Barefoot Abby's Back In The Swamp, And Better Than Ever!

Barefoot Abby finally got out of the hospital today. I had just finished talking to Barefoot Suzy when all of a sudden, Barefoot Suzy threw herself upon me and kissed me in passionate gratitude, just as Barefoot Abby barefooted as silently as ever from out of the ankle-deep creek water on her always barefoot toes, and moved stealthly toward us. I was so involved in Barefoot Suzy's kiss, I didn't notice Barefoot Abby until she spoke. She asked if she could join in? It was a humbling moment. Barefoot Abby's sense of humor could not have been better timed. I took Barefoot Abby into my arms and hugged her gently. Barefoot Abby said Barefoot Suzy and I both better save some kisses for her next time. Barefoot Suzy, still sitting next to us, folded her hands over her face and cried. Barefoot Abby asked what was wrong. I told her everything. Barefoot Abby comforted Barefoot Suzy, telling her everything would work itself out somehow. Barefoot Suzy reminded us of our scheduled flight with Barefoot Lady Blackhawk tonight. I told Barefoot Abby it was about Barefoot Lady Jane, and she might not wish to come. Try and stop me, was Barefoot Abby's enthusiastic response. Barefoot Abby never ceases to amaze me. Now the three of us are off to contact Barefoot Lady Blackhawk to pick us up on our pilgrimage to visit and reflect upon a long-fallen comrade: the venerable Barefoot Lady Jane, who has been gone for years now but she has most assuredly not been forgotten by any of us. Perhaps this excursion may provide the enlightenment we are all so desperately seeking to face the darkness that lies in the days, months, and years ahead.


Next:
St. Patrick's Day and Barefoot Lady Jane.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/st-patricks-day-and-lady-jane.html

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

More Phantasms In The Swamp...


I had a strange encounter this morning. Ghostly manifestations of Arcane's original Un-Men attacked me as I was posing for this timed snapshot on my digital camera, as I'd finally figured out the function. [Perhaps I'm more human than I tend to think.]
At any rate, the viciousness of the creatures assault lessened and
I vanquished them once I'd gotten all the guilt over Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Suzy out of my mind. Then it occurred to me. Am I the one responsible for all the bizarre things currently happening in the swamp? Before I could think on it further I heard the sound of a young barefoot woman sobbing nearby. This was the Barefoot Black Orchid. She must have flown all night to make it all the way from Gotham to be present here today. I picked her up and told her it was too dangerous for her to be here. Barefoot Suzy said she was sorry, but she had nowhere else to go. By the time I'd gotten her to a safe place, she'd already gone to sleep in my arms. At least I know my young barefoot lady partner is safe, and that's all that matters to me at the moment, on this fearful Ides of March.


Next:
This Is What Friends Are Made For!
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/this-is-what-friends-are-made-for.html

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Barefoot Suzy's Startling Discovery.

Is The Barefoot Black Orchid's Lastest Report Too Incredible
To Be Believed? Or Is It Simply Too Painful To Accept?

Barefoot Suzy's had her confrontation with Cat-Man of the Secret Six.
The intelligence she's gained from Lex Luthor's erstwhile fugitive pawn, however, has yet to be confirmed, or the enormity of it, withstood.


re: Barefoot Susan Linden-Thorne-Weems II wrote:

"Thomas Blake, the Cat-Man, is one of the most frustrating people I've ever met. He forced me to track him halfway across Gotham before I finally caught up with him and subdued the paranoid sociopath. He tried to get me with his claws, but a few punches upside his stubborn head cured him of the ludicrous delusion he was going to escape from me. We were just lucky a patrol of OMACs didn't come along and fry the both of us, the way we were fighting out in the open like that! When I got Mr. Blake to listen to reason, we doubled back the way he was originally heading. Once we reached his hideout, Cat-Man was very down to business. He drew out a wad of large envelopes, all sealed together hastily with duct tape and cut them apart with his claws. Clearly these files had been stolen. He threw one of them down on the desk in right there front of me entitled "Barefoot Black Orchid" and ordered me to sit down and read it. At once, I recognized the old LexCorp logo at the top of the file. I knew this was not a record on my confirmed deceased identical older barefoot sister and adopted barefoot mother, who raised me. No, this was a complete file recording much of the secret history of the original costumed Barefoot Black Orchid, who may in fact have been the true Barefoot Susan Linden resurrected, rather than the first of a high class hybrid nymph manifestation leading to the existence of others such as myself. All of this is common knowledge to the both of us, Alec. But here's where sensibility leaves us: The story didn't end with her death at Sterling's brutal hands on Luthor's behest. No, the file supports the rumor that she did in fact fake her death and is still at large in this world! Even crazier, the original Barefoot Black Orchid and the Qwardian pocket dimension Earth expatriate Owlman of the Crime Syndicate were touted as former considerations for membership in Luthor's Secret Six, as a means of infiltrating Villain Society security and allowing Luthor to determine the identity of his false counterpart behind the existence of the Villains United. Cat-Man insists Luthor knows who his doppelganger is by now, but took off after the false Luthor on his own. What's more, when I insisted the original Barefoot Black Orchid couldn't possibly still be alive after all this time, as she would have found and cared for me, Cat-Man got really mad and slapped me across the face, knocking me out of my chair and onto the floor. He shouted at me, telling me I was a stupid-as-Hell follower of superheroes and their pathetic methods that ultimately lead to mindwipes, and that I should wake up and accept cold hard reality. He persists the first Barefoot Black Orchid is still out there to this day, running a different program in the event of having to fake her death all those years ago. Now she's doing things I couldn't possibly accept. So she rejected me, to continue her mission. She could be anyone now. Anywhere. Anytime. Doing anything... possibly, unspeakable things. In Barefoot Earth Mother Gaea's name, that's what he said! Cat-Man asked me what I think of "Justice" now? My answer, my bare right foot slammed solidly good and hard into his face, sent him flying across the room. That's exactly what he assumed would be my reaction, he commented, while nursing his swollen jaw aching from my kick. Before he left, I asked him: Why did he try to escape from me in the first place? He told me it's the Barefoot Catwoman's birthday, and he didn't want to be late for her party by wasting his time with me! Oh, the nerve of the man! He staggered outside and disappeared back to his insane and miserable fugitive life. Then I was alone and it all sank in... I'm scared. Honestly, I don't know if I can deal with this. I don't know if I want to. It would hurt me too much, if I learned this was true. I've been through more than enough already. I don't know if I can go on with this. I don't want to sound selfish, and it would break my heart completely to disappoint you, but this is something that I can't do. I'm sorry, but it's over for me. Please don't count on me for anything anymore. I love you and your family more than anything. But it's time for me to stop. I can't go on, not after seeing this. It hurts too much. Please take care and don't be afraid for me. I'll be fine, I hope. Always yours forever, Barefoot Suzy."


Is this too heavy a blow for Barefoot Suzy to withstand? Is the era of altruistic superheroism at its end? Is there to be no hope for any of us? All I know is that dear Barefoot Suzy needs me terribly, and I cannot let this suffering pass. She must not be alone. I should never have sent her away in such a vulnerable state. If anything bad ever happens to her because of all this, I will never forgive myself...
Some secrets need to stay buried, no matter what the cost.


Next:
More Phantasms In The Swamp...
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/more-phantasms-in-swamp.html

Monday, March 13, 2006

Life Is A Beach For Barefoot Tefé.

Barefoot Tefé and Barefoot Zaina, The Most Exquisite Young Nude
Beautiful Barefoot Women Currently Vacationing In Rio De Janeiro.

Barefoot Tefé's hedonistic leisure time out of the country has already reaped great benefits. Not only is she beginning to put things into perspective, she's starting to accept her lot in life. As she's reached almost the complete and final full maturity of her teen years, the young beautiful barefoot woman she's become is ready to implement the wisdom of her wanderings and learnings. She is an individual in her own right, as this following sentimental message attests:

re: Barefoot Tefé Holland wrote:

"Dad. As I've been dancing, surfing, swimming, diving, resting, and sunbathing here nude and wet all day on a gorgeous beach in Brazil with Barefoot Zaina in my arms, I'm starting to think you're probably right about all the things we've talked about the last couple months. It's time to take stock about everything. My life isn't so terrible now. Barefoot Zaina really loves me, and that's something I won't take for granted. I will graduate Houma High soon, and that'll make Mom proud. I really appreciate everything you've tried to do for me. But what can I do for you? I mean, you live through other people now. That's kind of cool. One would think you'd have thrown the laptop aside now and gone back to overseeing the moss growing on the trees, listening to the birds sing, and fighting the bug-eyed monsters. But the fighting isn't so easy now that there are other worlds being blown up in the sky every night. So I've been thinking. Since you want to share in my little victories, how about I kick things up a knotch? I learned a lot of different things in my time on the road with Pilate and Barnabus. Odd skills and weird tactics and crap that are useful. Barefoot Zaina likes fancy sports cars. So tomorrow I'm going to run around nude all over the entire resort if I damn well have to, go find the right job that won't kill me, and work for the money to buy that car Barefoot Zaina swooned over in Houma. I'll get the money right here in Brazil, though Barefoot Zaina's not crazy about my plans. She says I'm totally full of shit to blow off a week-long vacation. I don't give a flying fuck. It's my time to waste. Anyway... It'll give me something to shoot for. If I can make it so there's less gloom and doom in the world for you when I fill you on more of this turn-about back home, all the better. About you: I'm not afraid of stupid Nerk and Bob or what crazy-ass King Toad wants to do to all the people in the Gulf, including the whole lot of us, so screw them! From now on I'm doing what I want. And I'm going to be dignified about it, just like you, the big-ass nature god superhero and your smart and cushy cute sidekick Barefoot Suzy. I mean, you're a big walking talking plant who just happens to be most dignified person in the entire world right now. I know it's cliché, but I really want to be just like you. That's why I'm here, nude wet bare fully-tanned boobs and Brazilian-waxed ass on a white sandy nude beach, wearing just shades and nude body-jewelry, white-blonde hair all slicked back in the salt water, true to myself, dignified and as far away from the junkies and losers as possible. I can't see myself going back to that. Things would have to be pretty bad. I think Barefoot Zaina feels it too. I'm not running away, just going my own way. And I will come back, because that's what I feel is right. Do yourself a favor, Dad. Stop worrying about everything and everyone so much. Whatever happens, happens. Just make the most of it and make every moment count for something. Don't you even bother to give a crap about all the days you're useless in-between. We all have our own little setbacks in our lives. I know I do. I live for moments like this. I said all I can say. Hey, I got to do something to pass the time around here since my big boss, billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne was a no-show. We get all these free vacations, but we paid escorts never get to see him. Talk about a man with options. Lots of horny naked barefoot party girls with no one to entertain but each other and all the hot camera guys filming us. Whatever, we can use the money until graduation. Then I'll join that high-end escort agency and everything will be beaches and easy street, just like Pilate figured my life of luxury would be like. You can't beat female privilege, right? Might as well enjoy myself, while I still can. Life's a beach! Barefoot Zaina's getting hotter by the minute. I'll close. Love you, Dad. Here's beach sand in your e-mail. Barefoot Tefé."

Astounding.

My barefoot little one's not so little anymore. She's all grown up, and it certainly shows in this most pleasing and reassuring development of her overall personality. Such wisdom. I love my enduring family.


Next:
Barefoot Suzy's Startling Discovery.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/suzys-startling-discovery.html

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Barefoot Naked Survivalist Cajun Couple With Class.


A Cajun fisherman and his barefoot wife, Jean and Barefoot Louise,
visited me today after setting their nets and anchoring their boat. They dived in and swam right up to me and said hello with reassuring voices. The nude survivalist couple were very friendly and asked a lot of simple questions. They were unafraid and unreserved, which is about the only way I can make friends. In fact, I was so pleased with their company, I led them out of the water in which we were swimming, to casually take this picture of them once I'd obtained my digital camera. It's the human thing to do to capture memories on film. If I am to make Barefoot Abby as happy as she should be, then I must show her I will try to be as human as possible. I'm sure she'll be glad to know I have friends of my own out here in the swamp again. The nude couple left on their little sailing ship in high spirits. The Cajun traditional term Bon Gumbo is a grand title I wear with great pride. It is the most human of my merits, and one I shall always cherish from now on.


Next:
Life Is A Beach For Barefoot Tefé.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/life-is-beach-for-tef.html

Saturday, March 11, 2006

My Darling Barefoot Wife, Barefoot Abby.


Barefoot Abby was given enough privacy late today that I was able to visit her at the hospital. Her room was dark. I grew myself from the flowers there. I woke her gently from her afternoon nap. She was under heavy sedation, but she struggled her tired nude body to sit up. She pointed to the closet where her digital camera sat atop her other belongings. She told me to take a picture and hit "send" as it would transmit the image of her sitting on the bed to my laptop in the swamp. I was most grateful for this gift. She asked what brought me here. I told her I was worried about her, now that Barefoot Tefé had gone on her spring break vacation, there was no one to look after Barefoot Abby. She told me I was sweet for coming. I asked if she was all right? Barefoot Abby said she was feeling better. She said she will always love me unconditionally, but she wants the madness to end. I asked if she would leave me yet again... After an unsettling moment, Barefoot Abby said she'd never run away again. Whatever the problem, we must face it together. I'm always the one to keep her on her always barefoot toes. And that's the way always she likes it! We embraced. Barefoot Abby said she loved me more than ever, but it was time for me to leave. A barefoot lady nurse was about to enter. I took to the flowers and reset them as Barefoot Abby jumped into bed again. Now, I have a reason to celebrate this 50th post on this weblog! Barefoot Abby has always loved me through it all, and now I realize to my comfort that she always will.


Next:
Barefoot Naturist Cajun Couple With Class.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/cajun-couple-with-class.html

Friday, March 10, 2006

Barefoot Tefé's Spring Break.


Barefoot Tefé began her nude spring break vacation this evening with her gorgeous fellow high-end escorts. Her wealthy client's cruise ship left for a Brazilian naturist resort late this afternoon. She looked magnificent when she came to say good-bye to me. Her anticipation and excitement of freedom, appreciation, pleasure, reward, and adventure was exhilarating.

I felt the grass and earth she stood upon move gently under her beautiful always bare feet as she set out and departed my company in a graceful barefoot race. She then stopped at the water's edge, danced nude and took a few deep breaths, then plunged her sleek beautiful nude body into the nearby lagoon, swimming underwater toward the docks and her latest rich master's yacht to save time. It's good to see her always swimming so fearlessly and freely again.

There is no doubt the bisexual Barefoot Tefé and her beautiful barefoot lesbian lover, Barefoot Zaina will have a splendid week-long paid vacation hedonistic sexcapade. I am most sincerely happy for them. She makes her father proud! It is little moments like this--the happiest of memories make my often-miserable existence worthwhile.


Next:
My Darling Barefoot Wife, Barefoot Abby.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/my-darling-wife-abby.html

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Superman's Salvation?


Superman visited me briefly tonight. He said he'd already visited Barefoot Abby earlier at the hospital as soon as he'd browsed the headline detailing last week's attack. He thanked Barefoot Abby for helping Barefoot Diana last month. He says he's very sorry he didn't come sooner, but he's been extremely busy. He asked if the problem has been dealt with. I assured him it will be soon. He confessed his recent experiences have made him a changed man. Most importantly, he wanted to know why I have such power, and do not use it for the betterment of humankind. I replied, humanity is not my concern.
The moment I take care of the world is the moment that his adopted people don't. He confessed desire to give up his identity and powers once the crisis has passed. I told him he should. He asked why?
I said the world can have a Superman, but it should not need one. He always knew this, but denied it to himself. He said it is time to end this neverending battle. He thanked me for my counsel and flew off quickly into the night sky. When this crisis is over, may Superman find the peace he seeks. And our world must find it without him.


Next:
Barefoot Tefé's Spring Break.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/tefs-spring-break.html

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

King Toad: What A Load.

Not One of My Better Days...

I went to see King Toad at the Prison Tree I created for him today.
It was pointless to try to reason with him. He took malicious delight in his son Nerk's atrocities. Barefoot Candy's murder, Barefoot Suzy's rape, and Barefoot Abby's torment are not the end of the suffering he has in store for me and mine. King Toad would even threaten Barefoot Tefé, were he aware her powers are gone. Outraged, I raised the Prison Tree higher, leaving King Toad and his fellow prisoners hanging upside down, as further punishment. Enough is enough. I will not stop until Nerk and Bob are destroyed. King Toad will stay alive and unharmed until then. I will act with swift, lethal force to prevent another ethereal escape of the murderous monsters. They will be slain. Then King Toad will be next. There is no alternative. This war is deadly serious.


Next:
Superman's Salvation?
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/supermans-salvation.html

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Farewell To A Barefoot Lady Friend.

The Barefoot Black Orchid. The Most Important, Loyal, Dependable Barefoot Lady Friend I Have. May We Meet Again Soon.

Barefoot Suzy and I returned to the bayou late last night. Barefoot Lady Blackhawk departed in her airplane in high spirits, saying she would always remember us. Barefoot Suzy is restored to full health. This morning, I insisted that she leave and not return for her own safety, as I would have to deal with the King Toad situation on my own, as well as the potential threat of Woodrue. She felt her place was dealing with some aspect of the Infinite Crisis, anyway.
She intends to seek out the fugitive Cat-Man, and learn if his "Mockingbird" is indeed our former enemy Lex Luthor. Dangerous though this move might be, it is preferable to the Villains United Society mass jailbreak rumored to us recently by Barefoot Poison Ivy. I told Barefoot Suzy I would not summon her again until the Infinite Crisis is over. However, she must stay in contact with Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Tefé, for her own peace of mind. She agreed to these terms. After a tearful goodbye, she set out into the world once more. Both Barefoot Abby and I will miss her, but I cannot let it distract me.
If Nerk and Bob are too elusive to be captured or destroyed for the duration of this crisis, then I must must confront the source of this atrocity. I'm going to take this wretched matter up with King Toad himself, where he stands subjugated at the Prison Tree.


Next:
King Toad: What A Load.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/king-toad-what-load.html

Monday, March 06, 2006

Miracle Mud.

Sweet Barefoot Suzy's Salvation Is At Hand...
All It Took Was Her Playful Indulgence
In A Special Mineral Mudbath To Heal Her!

Excellent news! We made our rendevous with our solution to Barefoot Suzy's sickness this morning. The materials I needed were situated around a spring. Perfect for what I had in mind: developing it into a hot springs mudbath. I asked Barefoot Lady Blackhawk to accompany Barefoot Suzy nude into the mud, as I would saturate too much of it into myself, and the minerals were precious. Barefoot Zinda Blake remarked that she hadn't done anything like this since she'd gotten stranded alone for two weeks on a deserted hot springs tropical isle in Borneo during the war, as she stripped off her uniform and at once as nude as Barefoot Suzy, escorted her into the basin of white mud. Barefoot Suzy was lowered down into and under the mud, instinctively drawing and holding her breath before going down completely under.
[immersion in mud requires this of her, unlike water submersion]
Barefoot Zinda looked over to the nearby lagoon to bathe. Her well-tanned and toned feminine nude body and pretty blonde hair slipped beneath the muddy ooze just as Barefoot Suzy had, suddenly dunking herself completely under quite accidentally and amusingly. Barefoot Zinda's sleek muddy head emerged in the mud with an excited "Oh, my God!" and a heathy feminine laugh. "Ooh! This feels so goddamn fucking good!", she said, "Really should have done this sooner! Nothing like this!" Smiling, her muddy hands stroked her beautiful sleek gleeming sticky slicked-back muddy hair and massaged her sexy muddy skin. Then she excitedly held her breath again and playfully dunked herself completely under the soothing warm mud several more times to fully appreciate the wonderfully hedonistic fun nude mudbathing experience. Barefoot Zinda enjoyed sharing Barefoot Suzy's luxurious healing mineral mudbath and lovingly remained at her side. They repeatedly dunked their beautiful nude bodies under the mud in recreation, as this picture of the muddy smiling face of Barefoot Zinda Blake having the pleasurably memorable best time of her life is clear:
Barefoot Lady Blackhawk.
This Barefoot Bird of Prey enjoys perfect mud in her nest.

The beautiful barefoot women are bathing one another in the lagoon under the waterfall of this secret safe haven as I type this. It seems we were most successful today. Barefoot Suzy is much stronger and saner now. I hope there can be a way to resolve the situation with loathsome King Toad's rotten offspring back home. I cannot permit Barefoot Suzy, Barefoot Abby, Barefoot Tefé or anyone else to be harmed by their treachery in Houma or the swamp again. Ah. Here come Barefoot Suzy and Barefoot Zinda from the lagoon. Nude, wet, clean and smiling barefoot women. How comforting, this sight. Barefoot Zinda has never felt so clean. Just wait until Barefoot Suzy and I give her a comfortable full nude body wax. Now, if only I could find a way to protect the remarkable people who inhabit my life, am I never to be satisfied? I would give anything to be as happy as they are, to put all worry on hold and just enjoy life between the conflicts. Today gave these fortunate, blessed, happy beautiful barefoot women the opportunity to do precisely that.


Next:
Farewell To A Barefoot Lady Friend.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/farewell-to-friend.html

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Barefoot Lady Blackhawk.

Our Barefoot Lady Pilot. A Barefoot Bird With A Plane.

Barefoot Suzy and I met with Barefoot Zinda Blake, Barefoot Lady Blackhawk tonight. I had just finished building the runway for her plane. The expert barefoot lady pilot already mapped out the best flight plan to locate and attain the secret location where we need to go, sharing the information with her mysterious employer known only as Barefoot Lady Oracle. I will see to it Barefoot Suzy is unconscious during most of this trip, waking her only for food and water. Before going to sleep in my arms, Barefoot Suzy assured me she was going to be fine. I will get her the help she needs. I must be confident. Good. I needed that. Barefoot Lady Blackhawk smiled, welcoming me aboard, adjusting the gyros to accomodate my massive bulk. She was just called in and flew from Washington, D.C. She had to leave the birthday celebration of one of her many lovers, Patrick Dugan, the hero known as "Stripesy" by most of her friends. She flirted over the radio with Dugan for a long time after take-off, then turned her attention toward getting to know more about me. Unlike most other barefoot women I've met, she was graciously accepting of me, and tried several times to strike up a conversation. I'm not one to talk right now. Taking care of Barefoot Suzy, worrying about Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Tefé back home, that's all that concerns me right now. When this mission is successful, my mind will be at peace.


Next:
Miracle Mud.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/miracle-mud.html

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Barefoot Suzy's War Wounds.

Yesterday and today have been immensely horrible. My thoughts are filled with pain, outrage, and despair. Barefoot Suzy spent the previous day seaching the swamps for our hated enemies, Nerk and Bob, to dispatch them from this plane of existence, permanently. Late in the evening she stumbled upon Sissy Bob, who begged her not to hurt him. Then distracted and confused, Barefoot Suzy was viciously attacked by the more murderous creature Nerk, who brutally beat, tortured, and raped her... Nerk then bit the head off a bobcat and spit the blood in her face. By the time I reached her, the monstrous bastards who hurt her were long gone again. Leaving me to tend poor Barefoot Suzy's grievous wounds, which were gruesomely poisoned with huge amounts of toad venom and badly infected. Barefoot Suzy cried and begged my forgiveness for letting them get away. I told her, don't be afraid, everything would be all right. Barefoot Suzy settled down and calmly insisted her wounds be documented. She still denies having been raped during the assault, over a full day later. This is not a good sign, but I must overlook it. Only Barefoot Suzy's health concerns me. She is the last surviving Barefoot Black Orchid and must not die or come to further harm.

This is how Barefoot Suzy looked last evening before sundown.


This is Barefoot Suzy after I had healed her wounds the next day, seated in the same position. The gash above her left eye was severe, so I could not completely remove it just yet.


Barefoot Suzy after sunset again. Her eyes can no longer emit steam to regulate her body heat. A minor nuisance for now, but one that could be a serious problem in the next few days.


An hour ago. Barefoot Suzy's showing early signs of toxination. She is also physically weak, her hair lies normally in its full weight, her mind is slowly drifting into madness.

She must be taken to a place where she can be cured by anti-toxin composition that I must replicate. I cannot disclose the name of this place, but we must go there now. I summoned Barefoot Tefé, who promptly left us upon hearing Barefoot Suzy's request and memorizing a phone number. I assume Barefoot Tefé is attempting to contact the expert barefoot lady pilot Barefoot Suzy is asking for, a barefoot woman named Barefoot Zinda Blake. Barefoot Suzy is the dearest, sweetest friend I've ever had. She is part of our family. Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Tefé love her as much as I. To lose her would be unthinkable. I will see Barefoot Suzy through all this. She will live. She simply has to survive, as she ever has. She must!


Next:
Barefoot Lady Blackhawk.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/lady-blackhawk.html

Friday, March 03, 2006

Life Goes On As The Infinite Crisis Continues.


The Barefoot Black Orchid returned from her duties elsewhere this morning. The devastation in Atlantis and other places was far worse than we had estimated. Now the war has come home. Barefoot Suzy was saddened and angrily upset to learn of Barefoot Abby's gruesome ordeal. Barefoot Suzy wanted Nerk and Bob's heads. I had to coax her priorities to attain her latest report. As can clearly be seen in the darkness of the sky every night, there are parallel Earths filling our plane of existence. Many have already obliterated, already a report has gone out that a new Anti-Monitor has arisen to challenge the young Luthor, namely his former companion, the Superboy of Earth-Prime. Also, and most unsurprisingly, the Barefoot Lady Nightshade has disappeared once more, while in preparation for a church mass for the fallen heroes, of all things. This would stand to reason everyone else Luthor had claimed would be back under his thrall, even the Earth-2 displaced Barefoot Power Girl should have returned to this world by now, after a brief respite however confusing it may have been. Speaking of Earth-2, the Barefoot Wonder Woman and Superman have gone there, perhaps to extract the Justice Society, who in their own minds have only just arrived on that manufactured world due to the time distortion there. Or perhaps there was another reason. I have quite enough to deal with on this Earth, than to have to try to grasp what is happening on another. What matters is that apparently no one knows Luthor's secret location, save perhaps select members of the Titans. Barefoot Suzy was about to join the Titans and offer her full support, when I summoned her here instead. Now Barefoot Suzy is intent upon hunting down our errant frog-like folk-tale foes locally, while I attempt to retain a firmer grasp upon the Green once more. With the Barefoot Black Orchid on the case, her grim determination to wreak vengeance upon them, I rather expect Nerk and Bob permanently dispatched into the netherworld or Hell to which they will belong, before the daylight hours have passed.


Next:
Barefoot Suzy's War Wounds.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/suzys-war-wounds.html