Swamp Thing's Blog

Strike Force: The Battle With Magneto.

2006-06-20T22:00:00.000-07:00

Magneto. This Is The Battle You've Been Waiting For!

Today, I ended my association with the Heroes United.
But I attained something far greater: a super-team of my own!

I said: "Swamp Thing here... My strike force... to aid J'onn J'onzz...
in his battle... against Magneto... is assembled..."

My only regret is that I can't speak faster.
I took part in an adventure which involved the following heroes:

Green Lantern Kilowog.

-----------------------------
The Majestic and Valiant Barefoot Power Girl.

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The Brave and Beautiful Barefoot Lady Bulleteer.
[She'd been de-magnetized for this battle.]

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The Frankenstein Monster,
and The Ballistic Barefoot Bride.

--------------------------------------------
and Barefoot Zatanna:
The Magnificent Barefoot Lady Magician.

Together, we were collectively known as the Strike Force.
Our mission: to save the life of the Martian Manhunter from his other dimensional enemies from a divergent universe. My Strike Force had our confrontation with Captain Koma and Magneto. Barefoot Lady Blackhawk took us to the Martian Manhunter's headquarters at the Hall of Justice, which once housed the Justice League's meetings. Inside, we soon found out the Martian had gone after Koma on his own. Barefoot Power Girl and Barefoot Zatanna found evidence J'onn had been poisoned, several oreo cookie crumbs were found at the bottom of an empty glass of chocolate milk he had consumed. Strangely enough, the cookies have bizarrely addictive alterations on his alien body chemistry. We had to save him from himself if need be. Time was of the essence. But where was Green Lantern Kilowog? He arrived late and behaved very strangely, saying he was held up in space. He said he didn't want to wear out his power ring, so he boarded the plane with us. Barefoot Lady Oracle had scouted up Koma's secret lair. The Blackhawk jet dropped us off at our destination at record speed. Inside, the Martian was already confronting Koma, doing considerable damage to Koma's beautiful barefoot female android lover. "Manhunter, you will pay!" Koma shouted at his opponent from within his lair. Kilowog pushed the rest of us aside [which didn't make Frankenstein too happy with him], and shouted, "Open up, ya poozers!" J'onn opened the door for us. He seemed to have the situation under control, but the effects of the food poisoning were already telling on him. Koma took advantage of our concern for J'onn and teleported himself away. Kilowog angrily shook his head, "Great. We turn up to kick this poozer's ass and he does a disappearing act on us." Then, in a slightly effeminate, and oddly monotonic voice he added, "I am so going to kill him for this." Kilowog's red eyes seemed to turn bright yellow for a moment. No one else seemed to notice, so I gave this distraction no further attention. Then we heard the following recorded message over an intercom: 'Koma has left the building by emergency teleportation. All heroes in the lair are asked to vacate in an orderly matter or they will be attacked by Synthoids.' "Hey, we still get to fight!" Kilowog persisted. Barefoot Lady Oracle's voice then came from it, arguing against Kilowog, who still wanted to stay and fight. Outside, Barefoot Lady Blackhawk left us in her jet. Clearly, Magneto's attack was about to begin. Suddenly, the fallen barefoot female android began to change shape, morphing itself into another barefoot female form. "It's the Barefoot Teminatrix Terminator!" the Barefoot Lady Bulleteer shouted. The battery in J'onn's hand turned into a metal spear and almost killed him, were it not for Barefoot Power Girl's super-speed. Barefoot Lady Oracle warned us to get outside and fight Magneto, for she could not hold off the Synthoids forever. The Barefoot Lady TX struggled viciously with Barefoot Power Girl, Kilowog, Frankenstein, and the Barefoot Bride. I traced the walls with a special vine to find a weak spot. Finding it, I commanded the Barefoot Lady Bulleteer to create a fast exit for us. Her naked metallic always barefoot toes ripped apart the floors as she ran hard and burst outside the wall.

"Out of the frying pan and into the fire!" she said, as her shining metallic-skinned statuesque beautiful nude body and bullet-shaped helmet crashed out through the downed wall. As soon as we were all outside, I told the Strike Force to leave the Barefoot TX to the Synthoids. Kilowog swore he'd get even with the Barefoot Lady TX. The Barefoot Power Girl asked him why he didn't use his power ring on it. Kilowog had no reply. Barefoot Zatanna expressed worry to me the Lantern's ring may have lost it's charge. We had no time to worry about that. Magneto was already coming into view.

Magneto issued this challenge:
"Swamp Thing! You'll soon know the folly of challenging my Brotherhood of Mutants with your Strike Force."
Captain Koma, who stood at Magneto's side asked, "Magneto, you said you'd let me destroy them first. I just finished teleporting my Synthoids out to save them from being terminated by your TX."
"Very well." Magneto sighed, "Have it your way, Koma."
"Let's see how your Strike Force go up against my new and improved synthoid army." Koma said. The Synthoids appeared, surrounding us. The Martian was in an outrage. The Barefoot Power Girl asked J'onn to calm down, she'd handle it. The Barefoot Power Girl moved at great speed and within seconds, she took out all of the Synthoids. "No!" Koma shouted running toward us. "You've smashed my Synthoids! Don't you heroes ever play fair?"
"Shut up and sleep it off, Captain Comatose." the Barefoot Power Girl laughed, headbutting Koma to knock him out cold. "A most impressive display, Barefoot Power Girl." Magneto grinned. "Are you prepared to face real power?" The powerful and beautiful barefoot superheroine stood her ground, as her muddy-soled, ankleted, and toe-ringed beautiful bare feet soon began to levitate well above the soil, in her gallant super-powered anticipation. There was no denying the sheer strength of her determination. "We'll soon find out." Barefoot Kara replied, "Hit me with your best shot."

"The first move is to be mine? Quite sporting of you, my barefoot dear." Magneto said. The Mutant Master of Magnetism unleashed his attack upon the Barefoot Power Girl, magnetizing the metallic particles in the very air surrounding her. She was flung into a nearby deep salt lake with a terrific splash, plunging her deep underwater, all the way to the bottom. I took control of the plants beneath her, attempting to force the immensely strong but now suddenly helpless brave barefoot superheroine to rise and swim to the surface. But the Barefoot Power Girl remained trapped below the lake, submerged deep beneath the cold drink by the force of the magnetic repulsion.

Magneto was determined to drown the Barefoot Power Girl if possible. I told my Strike Force I would go into the lake to save the brave Kryptonian barefoot superheroine physically, if I had to. Then Magneto unleashed his next magnetic assault upon all of us, except Barefoot Zatanna. The barefoot lady magician had already disappeared, as she was the most vulnerable of us. She reappeared amongst the waiting Brotherhood of Mutants. Barefoot Zatanna, now fully nude and anxious to execute an underwater rescue, took the Barefoot Scarlet Witch by a martial arts chokehold and asked, "Hey, Barefoot Wanda. That lake Barefoot Kara fell into looks great. Let's go for a nice nude swim and help her out down there, huh?" The two barefoot women vanished, immediately to join the Barefoot Power Girl, both were now stood nude at the bottom of the lake. Barefoot Wanda, unable to concentrate, quickly lost her breath under the pressure and shock of the sudden underwater submersion and passed out in the more aquatically-adept Barefoot Zatanna's arms. Swimming rapidly to the surface with Barefoot Wanda, Barefoot Zatanna used her own power and the power expended from the Barefoot Scarlet Witch's failed attempt to cast a hex. The Barefoot Power Girl, now freed from Magneto's power rose to the surface. Barefoot Kara gasped to regain her breath, stroked back her wet blonde hair, and thanked Barefoot Zatanna for saving her life. Barefoot Zatanna said she couldn't stay, for now she had to take the Barefoot Scarlet Witch prisoner and find out why she betrayed the Avengers and rejoined Magneto. Before the Barefoot Power Girl could begin to protest this, Barefoot Zatanna and Barefoot Wanda were gone in a flash of light. The Barefoot Power Girl swiftly returned to us.

The Barefoot Power Girl's return was well-timed, just as the rest of us were about to fall before the power of Magneto. Even my power to alternate my frequencies were not enough to escape him. The demagnetized nanotech-powered metallic-skinned cyborg Barefoot Lady Bulleteer, the immortal undead creation Frankenstein and his wayward Barefoot Bride, and the aliens Kilowog and Martian Manhunter were equally helpless. The Barefoot Lady Bulleteer said Barefoot Lady Oracle was reporting to Barefoot Alix via her headset that the barefoot female mutant shapeshifter known as Barefoot Lady Mystique wasn't amongst the Brotherhood. I didn't see the importance of this. The Barefoot Power Girl came to our rescue then, slapping her hands together to break Magneto's concentration, freeing all of us. The shock was too great for the evil mutant leader, and he could only expend his remaining power to protect himself. Magneto then cordially congratulated the Barefoot Power Girl for stalemating him. He complimented how magnificent she looked after the few minutes she'd spent trapped in the lake, the distinguished look of her pretty face, her golden glittering slicked-back wet blonde hair, how the sunset's light shown on the cleavage of her lovely large breasts as shown by her immodestly bright, sexy white costume. For a moment, she laughed. Her ankleted bare feet clinched the earth between her silver-ringed barefoot toes. She eased her bare fingers upon her tall clear round wide sleek forehead and bare temples, then stroked back her sexy fine shiny blonde slicked-down smooth wet hair spread evenly slicked-back and dripping cleanly down her lovely neck. She enjoyed her nice cool swim on this hot Summer Solistice evening.

The beautiful Barefoot Power Girl sighed, while Magneto laughed.
She tied all of her wet slicked-back blonde hair neatly back into a small ponytail, and said this wasn't a date and to get ready for a serious fight. Magneto said that we in the Strike Force didn't know the half of it. Then he gestured to the Barefoot Lady TX Terminator who suddenly stood behind us. An electronic shockwave disabled us all, forcing me and my allies to the ground and into unconsciousness. This when our planned wave of reinforcements from the Heroes United, led by the X-Men, finally reached our reality and attacked the invasive Magneto on our behalf. The daring nude Barefoot Lady Rogue was the first to join our fight. She boldly crashed into the Brotherhood of Mutants. The Barefoot Lady Rogue forced the evil mutants to break ranks, lest she absorb their minds and abilities with her own mutant powers. "Cavalry's here, y'all." Beautiful Barefoot Lady Rogue proudly smiled.

The Barefoot Lady Storm was the next to arrive. She separated
the Barefoot Lady TX from us with a bolt of lightning. The fierce
savage beautiful nude African Barefoot Warrior Queen shouted,
"MAGNETO! STAND AND FIGHT!!!"

The feral Wolverine attempted to attack Magneto, but intercepted by the Barefoot Lady TX. "Not you again!", the killer machine protested furiously. "Well ya hunk'a scrap, the only way yer gonna get rid o' me is ta dump Magneto." Wolverine taunted the barefoot female Terminator.

"No! I will never leave my Magneto and you will never threaten him again!", the Barefoot Lady TX shouted back, attacking its feral mutant opponent.

This proved a diversion. Wolverine fell onto his back and kicked the Barefoot Lady Terminator into position for another strategic attack. Cyclops joined the fray, leading the remaining X-Men and their allies.

Cyclops ordered the strange barefoot woman named Barefoot Pantha to assist in our soon to be speedy recovery, covering her run toward us with his powerful optic blasts raised against the evil mutants, while Wolverine battled Magneto's murderous Barefoot Lady TX machine. Magneto stood over me and cursed me for my ingenuity, but I was too far gone for the moment, in my own waking nightmares brought on by the Barefoot Lady TX to pay any attention to him. An ally of Wolverine called Kodiak attacked the Barefoot Lady TX, disabling the barefoot female Terminator's verbal control systems. "Fools... such fools..." the Barefoot Lady TX said, throwing Kodiak at Wolverine, forcing the mutant to retract his adamantium claws. "I have so many ways of defeating you." the Barefoot Lady TX said, "Now what are you going to do? Even if that Barefoot Pantha Girl wakes your Strike Force, it will be too late to stop me."
Something emerged from enclosing flames.

It was at this point the changeling named Barefoot Pantha now came upon us. Instantly recognizing me as an Earth Elemental, Barefoot Pantha opened the vial of jungle herbs given to her by Barefoot Shi and administered them to me. I awoke, rapidly rose to my mossy feet, alert and prepared to face what came next. I put out the flames and replicated the herbs, so each of the Strike Force quickly recovered. All except for the poisoned Martian, who was now too weak to stand. "Have to fight this off." J'onn said, "Can't let this infection affect my mind like before." I told him we needed his help to stop the Barefoot Lady TX. I helped the Martian to his feet. I thanked Barefoot Pantha for saving us so quickly, complimenting her on what I believed was her jungle-born abilities. A harmless mistake in my misinterpetation of her origins, but she became irrationally angry with me. She told me, rather venomously, she was not to be mistaken with any different Barefoot Pantha from any other reality, particularly the one who died in battle with Superboy-Prime on this very Earth a few months ago. The Barefoot Power Girl, who was just waking up became angry in turn for the unfair insults directed against me, so Barefoot Kara told Barefoot Pantha to shut up. Barefoot Pantha then ran blindly from us in a rage in her panther form. The Barefoot Lady Bulleteer shouted for her to look out, but it was too late. Barefoot Pantha collided with the massive mutant that Kodiak was fighting called the Blob, and Barefoot Pantha foolishly knocked herself out. Frankenstein seemed very disturbed by Barefoot Pantha's bizarrely insane behavior, although he did not explain why. But we were soon to confront much more immediately dangerous matters. Magneto ordered the Brotherhood to attack all of us again, as he took an electronic remote control from the unconscious Koma, reactivated the fallen Synthoids, transforming them into liquid Terminators.

"Well," Magneto said, expecting nothing but triumph,
"This is going to be interesting."

"Yeah! Real interesting!" A loud booming voice behind him shouted. Night fell. Magneto was slammed from behind and sent flying into the growing darkness by Joe Fixit, who is in reality the Incredible Hulk. "It's about time the sun went down." Fixit said, "Banner was about to bail out on me and run, or else turn into Big Greenie." Wolverine approached Fixit, patted him on the back, saying "Good work, bub." to the Grey Hulk.

"This job had better pay.", Fixit said to Wolverine, "Seeing as how that night watchman job with the statues in the gallery was a bust. Turned out to be fakes. The statues were already stolen."
"Real shame. I worked there, too." Wolverine agreed.
"But let's can the small talk and do what we came here to do!"
Angel, Beast, and Barefoot Dust fell in the battle. The Barefoot Lady Bulleteer fought hard to save them. She succeeded. Cyclops blasted more Terminators, as Frankenstein, the Hulk, and I fought the Barefoot Lady TX. We destroyed the killer machine's beautiful barefoot female human facade revealing its true appearance.

"Beauty is nature's brag, and must be shown in courts, at feasts, and high solemnities, where most may wonder at the workmanship. But true beauty lies within, and there is no such beauty to be found here. In this conflict alone, we are certainly the farthest from being the ugly ones, Swamp Thing." Frankenstein stated.
Magneto now fought Wolverine. Magneto shouted, "Now it's time to pay for all the humilations you've heaped on me, Logan! I hope you have enjoyed your life because now it is over." Wolverine replied, "Go ahead, Bub! I've proven I can take what ya can dish out."
Then came the Iceman.

The Iceman, who had frozen several of the Terminators we fought, was upon Magneto before he knew it, and blasted him with a small ice storm. "Thanks fer settin him up, Drake. Now I'm takin' him down!" Wolverine attempted another attack, but a Terminator blasted him from behind. Magneto laughed. But then, he too was blasted down by a Terminator! "Why, Barefoot Sky?", he asked the TX. The two robots merged, and turned into Ultron!

"Humans. Mutants. All are inferior! All shall be slain by Ultron!"
"Magneto, I didn't do this!", the TX claimed.
"There is another force at Cyberdyne trying to control the robots.
A new entity similar to Skynet. It calls itself Ultron."
"Listen, Magneto. You're being played here! She can't control those things!" Wolverine warned.
"Silence, buffoon!", Magneto shouted, striking Wolverine away and tearing the Ultron apart. "There must be a glitch in the Synthoid Terminator program. My Barefoot Sky would never betray me!"
Thus distracted, the Barefoot Power Girl and the Barefoot Bulleteer launched their next assault on Magneto. He pushed the two powerful barefoot women away, only to get knocked down by a grenade blast cleverly delivered from the Barefoot Bride. I advanced on him and pummeled him with my powerful fists. He seemed too injured to rise now. I asked him to give it up.
"This fight is pointless... You are beaten... Do you... surrender?"
I asked slowly.
"NEVER!", he shouted defiantly. But this time he could not use the air particles against us. I had now removed all magnetic pulses from the surrounding air. But there was still plently left within his magnetic shielding. Still, we at last had him surrounded. Soon to defeat him.
Then Magneto regained his balance, rose to his feet and shouted, "Bah! It doesn't matter how many of you heroes there are! You shall perish at my hands!" Something small and black struck against him, then another. He looked down and saw two dead vampire bats, smashed upon impact with his magnetic shielding. Magneto's helmet suddenly flew from his head, soaring up to the attachment of a magnet placed beneath a descending helicopter. "Local Henchman!" the helmetless Magneto shouted, "You won't escape me this time." But the pilot of the helicopter held steady, as if waiting for something. Magneto was about to use his power to crash the helicopter, ignoring the danger of the suicidal vampire bats. He was attacked by a hoarde of them, as my Strike Force and the X-Men prevented the Barefoot TX and the Brotherhood from interfering. Magneto destroyed the last of the bats and looked up, his head and neck bare, to witness the sinister source of this sudden supernatural attack: The always relentless and erotic Barefoot Vampirella!

Before Magneto could react, Barefoot Vampirella set upon him. She bit him as her bats before had, while his guard was down, as he was previously directing all his power in a split-second attack to slay the rogue AIM agent Henchman, only to have Magneto find himself the victim of the barefoot vampress instead. While I still detest vampirism, I believe this wretchedly devious and untrustworthy barefoot vampress to be a warrior in some aspects of her occasional, seductively deceptive motivations.

Now we turned our attention to the TX, as Barefoot Lady Oracle had already deactivated the Synthoids the TX had secretly turned into liquid Terminators without Koma's knowledge. The Brotherhood meanwhile fell at last, Frankenstein helped Wolverine to bring down Sabretooth, the Barefoot Bride cut off Toad's mutant lashing tongue, and the others were soundly smashed by Fixit. Only the horrific TX machine remained standing before us.

It stared out at us threateningly. The battle raged on, as I attempted to penetrate and dismantle the killer machine's CPU. My plants only just reached the reactor coils before being vaporized. Not good enough. It was too dangerous to engage other elements. I would need the help of a shapeshifter. I called out to the Martian Manhunter. J'onn forced himself to stand and engaged in our effort. Kilowog held the TX firmly. J'onn could feel the fires burn him, but he did not give up. All he managed to do was deactivate the defense systems, not the TX itself. "Is it down?" Kilowog asked. "Only it's weaponry." I replied. Then Kilowog began to change. He shrank down into a small blue nude barefoot female mutant form. I knew why the GL didn't use the power ring. This was not Kilowog. He was never with us...

This Was The Barefoot Lady Mystique!

"Don't worry," she said, "I'm a genius at the work I do. I won't let this filthy machine ever hurt Magneto. We'll destroy it first. That's why I've done all of this. Using a Martian from another universe to bring about this fight, impersonating that other alien, fooling Koma into luring Magneto here, baiting your Strike Force to save the Martian and beat the Barefoot Lady TX. I am brilliant!" Then to our surprise, Barefoot Mystique reached inside of the TX's damaged head and shut it down. The machine Magneto had called Barefoot Sky fell limp to the ground, deactivated and ready to be disposed of.

"And that's how you defeat a Terminator!"
The Barefoot Lady Mystique then laughed.

Next:
Betrayed By The Heroes United!

Heroes, Villains, And The Call To Action!

2006-06-19T22:00:00.000-07:00

Heroics, Villainy, And Events.
Everything I Need To Catch Up On From The Past Week.

It seems I have missed out on a lot this past week. Fortunately,
I have Barefoot Tefé to fill me in on what I've been missing:

re: Barefoot Tefé Holland wrote:

"Dad. I had a great time visiting you yesterday. Mom looks great. What an awesome perfect nude body sun tan she has! You've done her some real favors! Not only are you the best Dad in the world, Mom's put you in for best husband too. Out of sight! You guys rock."

"I love you both. I just can't say it to you enough. Believe it!"

"Anyway, here's the lowdown on what you've missed. Black Adam tried pulling one of his superhero airspace restrictions [strong-arming] fiascos again, this time on a couple of Green Lanterns who were after some loser called Evil Star who was hiding out in China. Adam had just signed some papers to get China's Great Ten superheroes under his wing. He chased the GLs to Russia, where the Rocket Reds pushed Adam to back off. And if that's not enough news for you,
then there's my favorite media idiot Booster Gold, and what happened with him earlier tonight."

"DAILY PLANET HEADLINER: BOOSTER GOLD IS A FRAUD!"

"Booster Gold was nailed to the wall tonight by no less than that insane massive asshole "friend" of his-- Ralph Dibny-- who called Booster out on the carpet for his paying phony villains to chase down. Barefoot Cassie's stunt on that sleazy jerkwad Dibny finally gave him back his balls. I sure would hate to be Booster Gold right now. What a stupid joke Goldenboy turned out to be. Makes me glad to be a barefoot lesbian..."

"So what's Barefoot Poison Ivy been up to, ever since she hauled her
hot sexy nude green botanical ass back to Gotham, Dad? Well, I got
some e-mails from Barefoot Poison Ivy and Barefoot Harley Quinn:"

"They are such show-offs. Barefoot Ivy's still clueless, and Barefoot Harley's still a loony-toon. Nothing out of the ordinary here [at least for them]. They were surprised to have their latest gang bought out from under them by Harvey Dent in this huge police/crook payoff double-cross scam. You see, Dent isn't Two-Face anymore, and he's got to be running the show in Gotham now that the Batman and most of his Bat-Brigade followers have gone off to nowhere to get lives or something. Anyway, Barefoot Ivy's glad it happened. With Barefoot Harley run off to find the Joker to "get even" with Dent, Barefoot Ivy says she's going to concentrate on the really important stuff. No idea what you've started here, Dad. But we'll all find out soon, won't we? Anyway, that's everything for last week while you were away on the island. Hope you enjoyed it. Love, Barefoot Tefé."

Now that I am caught up on current events, I'm feeling prepared to embark on tomorrow's mission. Yesterday, I took part in preparing a Strike Force with the timely assistance of Barefoot Lady Oracle. Barefoot Abby is proud of me, saying that I am going on a real super-hero mission. I will save the Martian Manhunter from his enemies. Tomorrow should prove to be an exciting but dangerous time. Compared to confrontations with my own enemies, this should be a walk in the park...

Next:
Strike Force: The Battle With Magneto.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/06/strike-force-battle-with-magneto.html

Father's Day With My Family.

2006-06-18T20:00:00.000-07:00

A Great Father Is Only As Good As His Barefoot Child...

Today I returned from my week-long romantic vacation with my beautiful barefoot wife, Barefoot Abby, to be reunited with our lovely barefoot daughter, Barefoot Tefé. I was so happy to see my beloved barefoot daughter had fully recovered from her injury sustained from our latest confrontation with our enemy King Toad, who is now my prisoner once more. Talking with Barefoot Tefé, hearing for myself about how she felt about me as her father, the love and respect she held for me, all this made my concept of Father's Day a very good one. Our beautiful barefoot daughter means the world to us. I for one am so incredibly happy have her near me, to bask in my adoring barefoot girl-child's affection. This is going to be a busy week for me. I will not disappoint the always barefoot women in my life. I'm going to play hero and put everything to rights. Here in the swamp, in Houma, and with the Heroes: United. And then, hopefully, we shall always be as happy as we were today. For it is my family's loving hope and happiness that means everything to me.

Next:
Heroes, Villains, And The Call To Action!
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/06/heroes-villains-and-call-to-action.html

Our Romantic Week-Long Gulf Island Getaway.

2006-06-10T22:00:00.000-07:00

My Darling Nude Sexy Barefoot Wife, Barefoot Abby. She Is Still
The Most Sensually Beautiful Barefoot Lady In All The World...

The first day of our vacation was a most incredible and resoundingly
beautiful experience. Barefoot Abby awoke with the sunrise. We took
a luxurious swim together when the morning sun was at it's highest.

Barefoot Abby loves to swim with the sea turtles, the manatees, and especially the dolphins. She dived in many times staying down as long as she could hold her breath underwater and played with the beautiful friendly dolphins. She's always been completely fascinated with them.

When we returned to the shore, Barefoot Abby was peaked from her morning exercise, singing to catch her breath, she lay her gorgeous nude body down in the sand to tan and soak up the sun. She keeps herself in excellent shape in her slowly-aging body. Once rested, she ran gracefully nude up and down the beach. To bathe the wet beach sand out of her beautiful long white hair, she plunged her perfectly-tanned nude body into the soothing ocean again for another long swim, and we made love underwater. Barefoot Abby takes such good care of herself. I'm most proud of her for this. There are a lot of things we wish to do during this week off. Barefoot Abby wants me to go off this weblog until the entry for Father's Day, just after the end of our vacation. Yes, I think this will indeed be most sufficient. When we return home, we shall have an enjoyable collection of the most beautiful memories of our time here.

This is the way things should always be. I'm extremely happy now.
For me, loving happiness has always been such a rare thing. I'll have
this beautiful experience with me always, and begin a much brighter
approach to life in my existence. Peace and love to all, my friends.

Next:
Father's Day With My Family.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/06/fathers-day-with-my-family.html

Barefoot Abby: My Greatest Barefoot Lady Love.

2006-06-09T23:00:00.000-07:00

Beautiful, Magnificent, Barefoot Abby.
She Comes Through For Me Once Again.

Barefoot Abby found me with Barefoot Poison Ivy asleep in my arms this morning. I could not speak to her. I simply didn't know what to say. I was so terrified of breaking my beautiful barefoot soulmate's heart. Yes, I also love Barefoot Poison Ivy now, that much is true. But Barefoot Pamela Isley is as nothing before Barefoot Abby Holland, my beloved and precious barefoot wife. There was a long silence between us. Then Barefoot Abby reported how Barefoot Tefé was out of the hospital and staying in bed over at Barefoot Zaina's house. Barefoot Tefé will be spending the week there, and she is going to be fine. The bump on the head my barefoot daughter took from King Toad was nothing serious. I was so happily relieved to hear this.
Barefoot Poison Ivy awoke. She looked up nervously at Barefoot Abby. I took the picture above of Barefoot Abby as she told Barefoot Ivy to, "Make like a tree, and leave us alone for a while." Barefoot Ivy did so. I'm so glad there was no conflict at that point. Barefoot Ivy left peaceably, but she did not stray too far from us. I understood perfectly why Barefoot Poison Ivy would want to hear what we said, for this was a becoming a personal matter for all of us. Barefoot Abby said if I could accept her past with Jake Evans (and Don Reynard before him), then she can accept my occasional sexual consortiums with the Barefoot Black Orchid, and/or even with Barefoot Poison Ivy. I thanked Barefoot Abby for this, but swore my eternal devotion to her. She told me to save it for now. She asked where King Toad was. I said with Barefoot Poison Ivy's help, I'd managed to trackdown King Toad in the swamp last night, disarmed the monsters, imprisoning them in a new Prison Tree, stronger than the last. Woodrue will likely free them again eventually, so this measure is only temporary at best. Barefoot Abby's much more worried about Nerk and Sissy Bob who are probably not dead and still in hiding with their explosives, somewhere down beneath the streets of Houma. I agreed. I asked Barefoot Poison Ivy to rejoin us. She showed Barefoot Abby the box with the Mini-Woodrue. Barefoot Abby saw a horrifying vision from her past, when Woodrue tried to kill her with a chainsaw several years ago. Barefoot Abby freaked, and knocked the box from Barefoot Ivy's hand. It smashed against a nearby tree, and the little Woodrue escaped. Barefoot Poison Ivy's nude green body dived into the underbrush in futile pursuit, her red hair and green bare breasts bouncing. She came back to us upset at the loss of her tiny captive, but I told her it was all right. We've gotten all we can out of Woodrue at this time. King Toad is my prisoner again, or at least for now.

Barefoot Poison Ivy said she wanted to depart.

She wanted to return to Gotham City and spend time with her beloved Barefoot Harley Quinn. Very well, I gave Barefoot Ivy permission to go. Before Barefoot Poison Ivy left us, she gestured to her favorite island retreat in the Gulf, insisting it would be a good place to relax for a time. I gratefully thanked Barefoot Ivy for everything she has done for me. She thanked me for helping to save her from herself. Barefoot Ivy said she will always be in my debt, before walking away. I took Barefoot Abby into my arms and asked if she would like to take a boat, or if she felt like swimming all the way to the island? Barefoot Abby said she wasn't sure if she wanted to go. I kissed my beautiful nude barefoot wife passionately. Barefoot Abby smiled. She was too tired to swim, and insisted we get a fast boat. We went to Jordan Schiller's cabin and asked him to persuade Tee-Tonti to take us out to the island on his boat. Schiller's only too happy to comply with our wishes. We have traveled on the boat tonight. The island was soon in our sight. Barefoot Abby happily plunged her gorgeous bejeweled lean nude body into the water and she swam for shore. Tee-Tonti and I carried Barefoot Abby's food and supplies onto the beach and we built her a small shelter. He warned us about some problems with it being hurricane season. I told him that I'll protect Barefoot Abby from the elements. Especially at night. He told us to take care then. He'll return for us on Father's Day, so I can spend that time with Barefoot Tefé. Barefoot Abby and I sat there on the beach, while we watched as his boat disappeared into the darkness on this fine National Marriage Day. This vacation will be a great time for us.
We'll make the most of it. I love Barefoot Abby. She is my world.

Next:
Our Romantic Week-Long Gulf Island Getaway.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/06/our-romantic-week-long-gulf-island.html

The Barefoot Black Orchid: Feeling The Frustration.

2006-06-08T22:00:00.000-07:00

Barefoot Suzy Disapproves Of My Relationship
With Barefoot Pamela Isley.

Barefoot Suzy has become rather upset with me... and the world in general. As the intense pressure comes at me from all places, I suppose I will be faced with more scathing reactions such as this:

re: Barefoot Susan Linden-Thorne-Weems II wrote:

"Alec. In light of recent events I've tried to be patient in reaction to what is currently happening, I just have to say: HOW DARE YOU???? Of all people you have to get involved with, WHY does it have to be BAREFOOT POISON IVY? She tried to kill me in the Battle of Metropolis! I offered my hand in friendship and she practically bit it off. I will never understand where you see any goodness in her. Barefoot Pamela Isley is the most wretched, foulest, evil, insane, pathetic excuse for an elemental I've ever known. She's only deserving of a good mindwipe, not your understanding and respect! By rights, I should tell Barefoot Abby about this, but she has suffered through more than enough already. What we have had together comes with the blessings of necessity. What you've done with Barefoot Poison Ivy is inexcuseable. Don't think anything good will come of this. Barefoot Poison Ivy is just as corrupt as the Floronic Man, King Toad, and all of the rest. She may come in a pretty package, but a super-villain is still a super-villain. As for me, I'm still with Barefoot Valda and Rex at the blood-dome covering Riverrock. All we can do now is wait for the return of the Phantom Stranger and Barefoot Lady Witchfire, for all the good they'll do. This living nightmare shows no signs of changing. I have no intention of leaving. I won't abandon the Shadowpact, nor will I let the world ever forget about their sacrifice. Barefoot Lady Blackhawk stops by every few days to check on us. It's great to relax and bathe in one of the Blackhawk jet's hot tubs. Still, sometimes I can't stop crying..."

"I honestly hope Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Tefé end up leaving you to face King Toad alone. At this point, you really and truly deserve it. If you want Barefoot Poison Ivy so badly, then I guess you deserve each other. And if you think all I'm going to do is bash you in this letter, forget it. I've done some checking. Barefoot Tefé is going to be okay. She's not in a coma, but she will be laid up in the hospital for a week. Don't worry, she'll be fine. But you won't, if you keep wasting valuable time with Barefoot Poison Ivy. Do what is right, please! Sincerely yours, Barefoot Suzy."

I must admit to feeling divided about this. I certainly understand Barefoot Suzy's feelings in this matter and how she's been hurt. But I must continue to do what I feel I should, no matter what it costs me, even the friendship and trust of the Barefoot Black Orchid. Why must fate always be so cruel to me? Especially now, having to choose on this dreaded "Name Your Poison" Day.

Next:
Barefoot Abby: My Greatest Barefoot Lady Love.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/06/abby-my-greatest-love.html

Unexpected Help From Barefoot Poison Ivy.

2006-06-07T22:00:00.000-07:00

Barefoot Pamela Isley: My Newest And Closest Friend?

Barefoot Poison Ivy finally talked to me today. Morning came, and I was still in agony from yesterday's depression. Finally, the thought of losing everything I have worked so very hard for overcame me. I sat down and cried in my pain most despairingly. This must have touched something emotionally in Barefoot Poison Ivy that is still Barefoot Pamela Isley, for she came over and asked me if it was a stupid question, or if she could help me? I put my arms around the sleek green beautiful nude body of Barefoot Poison Ivy, and I asked her to stay with me. She told me that she was so very sorry for what she tried to do to the Barefoot Black Orchid. She begged for my forgiveness. I told her if anyone needed forgiveness, then it was me. This whole situation with King Toad and Woodrue has gotten unspeakably out of hand. Barefoot Ivy then showed me what she had in her hand. A small wooden box. She opened it. Inside was one of the Mini-Woodrues, crazily singing it's bizarre little song. She asked if this peace offering was going to be of any assistance? I told her I was grateful, that now I could study the problem and hopefully find a solution. This made her happy. Later this afternoon, I found her bathing her lovely nude body at the edge of the lagoon and joined her. We talked a lot about the problems we have had over the many years. Surprisingly, she had nothing to say about her insane lifestyle in Gotham City. Mostly she talked about her failures to find herself. The countless men and barefoot women she has destructively seduced over the years were merely her way for compensating for this. She's never been in a relationship where she was truly loved for being who she is. That is why she is so messed up, she explained. I told her that she's still Barefoot Pamela Isley, despite her chemical and biological changes, and the world needs to see that. When her mission as Barefoot Poison Ivy is finished, she said she will try to live again as Barefoot Pamela Isley in her current state, just as I continue to carry on as Alec Holland would for my barefoot wife, Barefoot Abby, even as I shall always exist as the Swamp Thing. Barefoot Ivy looked at me for long moments and told me that she loved me. I took her into my arms and kissed her. I told her this kiss was from Alec Holland to Barefoot Pamela Isley. As the Swamp Thing and Barefoot Poison Ivy, we have a hard long road ahead of us. She said she will try to be more like me. I hope she'll succeed in her quest to become a better person. With my love and support she will do exactly that. I only hope she finds the peace she seeks and someday abandons her otherwise destructive path. It's the only hope for Barefoot Poison Ivy.

Next:
The Barefoot Black Orchid: Feeling The Frustration.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/06/black-orchid-feeling-frustration.html

A Crushing Defeat...

2006-06-06T18:00:00.000-07:00

Barefoot Tefé's in the hospital. She still hasn't woken up. She might be in a coma. I don't know if she is or not. I haven't spoken to Barefoot Abby all day. She was outraged over Barefoot Tefé's injury. The Barefoot Birds of Prey have been called away on another mission. The Barefoot Black Orchid will not answer my summons. I can sense Woodrue's growing insanity and rage rippling through out the Green. And to top it all off, I see Barefoot Poison Ivy lurking in the swamp. But she's too afraid to approach me. I don't care. I feel so depressed. I wish I could take root and just leave all this pain and suffering behind me. But I can't let King Toad win. I feel so defeated and lost, with all this external depression. And it hurts so much...

Next:
Unexpected Help From Barefoot Poison Ivy.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/06/unexpected-help-from-poison-ivy.html

Payback For King Toad.

2006-06-05T22:00:00.000-07:00

King Toad. The Most Wretched Monster Of All.

Today was World Environment Day. Ironic then, that tonight was when the Barefoot Birds of Prey and I had confronted King Toad at this time. I stepped out of the van with the Barefoot Black Canary, the Barefoot Huntress, the Barefoot Lady Gypsy, and the Barefoot Lady Vixen at my side as we entered the abandoned shipbuilding warehouse. As soon as we entered, the lights came on. We were surrounded on all sides. Every one of King Toad's minions wielded a high-powered automatic weapon, ready and trained to use it. I asked King Toad where he got his new toys. He said he took them off some escaped convicts, hiding out in this very warehouse. He's said it's fated how things turn out. I asked him if he's also ran into Nerk and Sissy Bob. He said those Bayou Boys failed him, and he never cares to see them again. Suddenly, a loud noise came from above jarring the armed monsters. The Barefoot Huntress had thrown a shock bomb toward the high ceiling of the warehouse to test for the possible presence of the explosives Nerk and Sissy Bob had stolen. Since nothing exploded, Barefoot Dinah received permission from Barefoot Lady Oracle to unleash the full fury of her sonic scream. The Barefoot Black Canary gave the secret signal. Her friends sprang into action. Each of the barefoot women fought her way into a lone corner of the warehouse, and at once reaching safety, they all covered their ears.
King Toad said I was stupid to count on barefoot women to do a man's job. The Barefoot Black Canary said she had something to say about that. She dropped from her bare feet, down to her knees, and she released her powerful metahuman super-sonic Canary Cry...

...and King Toad and his goblins went flying. Admittedly, a far less fatal treatment than the one I would have inflicted upon King Toad, but an equally deserving one. Unfortunately, King Toad had one more trick up his sleeve. He reached behind a crate and pulled out his hostage for the evening: Barefoot Tefé! My barefoot daughter had errantly followed us. Barefoot Tefé was grabbed by one of the monsters as she had gotten too close to the warehouse. Now bound and gagged and crying, my beloved barefoot child has helpless in the hands of my worst enemy. King Toad was pleased to learn Barefoot Tefé was now powerless to stop him. He was so happy, in fact, he showed me his other advantages. He reached into the tattered pants he'd taken from one of his victims and pulled out a small creature:
Clearly, this was Jason Woodrue. More, King Toad informed me, he had many such "Little Woodrues" all over Houma and the swamp. One word from him, and Woodrue can destroy everything. Then King Toad put the Woodrue away, and held a machete to Barefoot Tefé's throat. He said we had better let him go now, or Barefoot Tefé would die. I told him to kill my barefoot daughter would be to destroy himself, as the magic of the swamp protects those who are born there in the care of Cajuns, as Barefoot Tefé was. Cursing loudly, King Toad released Barefoot Tefé. Then he savagely hit her over the head. She fell unconscious into my arms. King Toad's boys fired at us to cover their escape. The Barefoot Birds of Prey attempted pursuit. But a cocktail bomb and the fires it started forced them to give it up. Now we are worse off than before. Barefoot Tefé has been hurt and she won't wake up.

Next:
A Crushing Defeat...
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/06/crushing-defeat.html

The Barefoot Lady Vixen: On The Trail Of King Toad.

2006-06-04T22:00:00.000-07:00

The Barefoot Lady Vixen, Barefoot Marilyn McCabe.
A Barefoot Woman Who Never Hesitates To Speak Her Mind.

Barefoot Marilyn McCabe, the Barefoot Lady Vixen is a barefoot woman of skills as remarkable as the other Barefoot Birds of Prey. Two days into her search, she has managed to find the location of King Toad's hideout in Houma. She does not know if Woodrue is present, nor if King Toad has acquired the explosives stolen from the construction company building last month by the missing and apparently presumed dead Nerk and Sissy Bob. The Barefoot Lady Vixen tells me those monsters are the sickest, filthiest, most disgusting, sorry bastards she's ever seen, they even make me look good to her. Then, she promptly apologized to Barefoot Abby for comparing me to the evil King Toad, as the barefoot women finished their bathing under the streaming waterfall and plunged their beautiful nude bodies into our familiar lake below. I told the brash Barefoot Lady Vixen that Barefoot Abby didn't marry me for my good looks, offering her a tuber as she swam up to me and continued her swim in the water. The Barefoot Lady Vixen admits this mission has been a refreshingly good change of pace for her. Like her longtime beloved barefoot girlfriend the Barefoot Lady Gypsy, presently the Barefoot Lady Vixen is just as leisurely and comfortably nude, as is the Barefoot Lady Gypsy. Barefoot Marilyn has retracted her natural claws alternately maintaining nude between her rigorous athletic exercises and slipping into total relaxation in our inviting marshland environment. Barefoot Marilyn and Barefoot Cindy now joined Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Tefé in swimming nude and diving beautifully into our family's favorite lake. How I adore all these lovely barefoot women, particularly whenever they are nude and having fun together. Barefoot Abby certainly had fun, she says Barefoot Marilyn's quirky behavior was quite engaging, even more so than Barefoot Cindy's own. Barefoot Tefé, after no surprises, was now totally captivated with our well-spent naturist weekend with the Barefoot Birds of Prey. Barefoot Abby has even convinced Barefoot Marilyn to follow her life's dream of returning to the Barefoot Lady Vixen's native African wildlife preserves after this adventure. I certainly hope that the Barefoot Lady Vixen will enjoy returning home to Africa as much as she's loving these nights here, nude and relaxed in the swamps, and I sincerely hope she writes back to us in good faith. The Barefoot Lady Vixen and Barefoot Lady Gypsy have become such good friends to us in the short time they've been here. I wish I could say the same about the Barefoot Black Canary and the Barefoot Huntress, but they can focus on nothing else but the mission, which is probably for the best. I wish the troubled Barefoot Dinah and Barefoot Helena had joined in our fun, at least for this pleasant evening. But they did not. Those two barefoot women seem particularly stressed. They could clearly use the refreshment of a casual time off. But as always it's business with them, not pleasure, that was their concern here. Both the Barefoot Canary and Barefoot Huntress' costumes stayed on for longer than we expected. For they stayed dedicated to their task, ready for anything. Strict constant surveillance was maintained about the targeted fugitive hideout. The Barefoot Huntress wanted to move in on the warehouse where King Toad is hiding tonight, but the Barefoot Black Canary insisted they must wait for Barefoot Lady Blackhawk to return from her latest trip with the supplies and ammunition they'll need. We can wait one more night to strike. This mission must be completely successful, after all. There is nothing more important right now than stopping King Toad and Woodrue from destroying Houma. We know where our dangerous enemy is hiding. We have the element of surprise on our side. The attack will take place tomorrow. That is enough for now. Besides, now that the perimeter is secure, I can see that the Barefoot Black Canary, the Barefoot Huntress, and Barefoot Lady Blackhawk are at last nude once again, on free time from their superhero duties and ready to relax as the barefoot women share a few tubers and plunge their healthy sleek clean beautiful nude dancers' bodies into the swamp to swim and having the pleasantly good time here they so well deserve.

Next:
Payback For King Toad.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/06/payback-for-king-toad.html

The Barefoot Lady Gypsy: Is She Having Second Thoughts?

2006-06-03T22:00:00.000-07:00

The Beautiful Barefoot Lady Gypsy,
Barefoot Cynthia "Barefoot Cindy" Reynolds.
Does She Have The Courage To Face The Danger?

Barefoot Cynthia Reynolds, the Barefoot Lady Gypsy may be thinking of backing out of our planned confrontation with King Toad and Woodrue, it seems. Barefoot Abby has a little history with this young barefoot woman several years ago, attempted mentoring the barefoot girl during a short stay at Elysium Lawns, Barefoot Abby's place of employment at the time in Barefoot Cindy's troubled youth. Barefoot Abby knew to convince the teenage always-barefoot girl to embrace and not to reject her developing powers. Barefoot Cindy was persuaded by Barefoot Abby to wait, be patient and choose carefully, then run boldly and gracefully on her always bare feet toward something, and not to simply run away. Since Barefoot Cindy had already grown up more well-experienced barefooter than most barefoot women and children, Barefoot Abby found it easy to persuade Barefoot Cindy into even more consistent thoughtful awareness and exercise for natural healthy reasons, which helped tremendously in the perpetually barefoot girl's development of her impressive athletic abilities and stamina, with Barefoot Cindy learning even better methods of protectively balming her always bare hands and always bare feet, and always proudly going barefoot in the icy winters, just as Barefoot Abby always has. Barefoot Cindy's impressively strong endurance of the cold applies not only to her always being barefoot, but also to her excellent cold water swimming abilities as well. Barefoot Cindy loved also as much treading the hot summer sun-baked streets under her famous double gold-ankleted and silver toe-ringed natural always bare feet. Barefoot Abby accepted Barefoot Cindy's insistence of living such a vagabond lifestyle. Adopting the heroic identity of the daring Barefoot Lady Gypsy, Barefoot Cindy pursued the last leg of her barefoot journey of self discovery. Now with the Barefoot Lady Gypsy self-assured, she confidently sets out everywhere in the world upon her dirty, athletic, toughened, seasoned always bare feet. The teenage barefoot superheroine left Houma and had then returned to her home state. The Barefoot Lady Gypsy went all the way to the streets of Detroit, where she successfully joined the Justice League and was mentored by the Martian Manhunter. Today, the Barefoot Lady Gypsy is proudly considered for full membership in the Birds of Prey, as is her fellow Detroit League partner Barefoot Marilyn McCabe, the Barefoot Lady Vixen, who has always been likewise always been gracefully dynamic on her always bare feet, just like her cherished likewise-bisexual beautiful barefoot lady lover, in their relationship all these years.

This brings us to the present. Hours earlier, the Barefoot Lady Gypsy emerged from her long swim. The afternoon sun shined her athletic sun-bronzed beautiful nude body and wet slicked-back hair. She held a month-old photo in her hand. Pausing a moment in the water, she aligned her sexy breast nipple-rings of her sleek nude body jewelry.

The Barefoot Lady Gypsy's compulsive nature is pleasantly amusing.

She's certainly proven herself a very capable young barefoot woman today. She'd swam to the Cajun camp and scouted up evidence of the rising of Jason Woodrue from his grave. This event quietly witnessed taking place by some curious Cajun children, an entire month ago.

This discovery by the Barefoot Lady Gypsy for our side is not much, but it's a start. I wish I had known about this before, however, as it might have helped. At any rate, Barefoot Abby wasn't going to talk Barefoot Cindy into staying. The Barefoot Lady Gypsy knew the dangers now and must either honor her commitments or else retract herself from volunteering for her own safety. Fortunately, the Barefoot Lady Gypsy's desire to be one of the Barefoot Birds of Prey, coupled with sentimental feelings for Barefoot Abby has helped to strengthen the Barefoot Lady Gypsy's resolve. While she's not fearless as the other Barefoot Birds of Prey are known to be, the beautiful Barefoot Lady Gypsy's heroic and selfless. That is certainly enough from Barefoot Cindy Reynolds to gain my admiration and respect. Soon, her resolve will once again be as solid as her street-smart tough concrete-hard--yet soft and beautiful, always bare feet.

Next:
The Barefoot Lady Vixen: On The Trail Of King Toad.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/06/vixen-on-trail-of-king-toad.html

Team-Up With The Barefoot Birds Of Prey.

2006-06-02T20:00:00.000-07:00

These Barefoot Women Are Ready To Take A Walk On The Wild Side!

As promised tonight, Barefoot Lady Oracle has sent four of her associates along with Barefoot Lady Blackhawk, the barefoot female warriors for justice known as the Barefoot Birds of Prey, to repay the debt owed to me in helping to save Houma from the great dangers threatened by the goblin King Toad and the plant elemental Woodrue. The Barefoot Black Canary [Barefoot Dinah Lance], the Barefoot Huntress [Barefoot Helena Kyle-Bertinelli], the Barefoot Lady Gypsy [Barefoot Cynthia Reynolds], and the Barefoot Lady Vixen [Barefoot Marilyn McCabe] feel the soft mud of the Louisiana swamps between the spread of their dirty athletic city-toughened always-barefoot toes once more. Having met these fine brave beautiful barefoot women here before on Earth Day, it was clear that this time there would be no picnic. Barefoot Lady Oracle's agents stay at Barefoot Abby's house just outside of Houma, until this dire situation we have involved them in is resolved. Our connections to the superhero communtity are growing stronger, and this is how it should be. If we are to survive, we heroes must all stand together and face the dangers awaiting us head on!

Next:
The Barefoot Lady Gypsy: Is She Having Second Thoughts?
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/06/gypsy-having-second-thoughts.html

Dealing With Another Crisis.

2006-06-01T17:00:00.000-07:00

The Zeta Beam Survivors. Were They The Lucky Ones?

Barefoot Abby and I can't seem to catch a break. Yesterday, on Information Technology Day, we were contacted by Barefoot Lady Oracle. Her holographic icon image was impressive. She informed us that a tragic accident had just befallen a group of space heroes being transferred to Earth on the spectrum of a Zeta Beam. Barefoot Lady Oracle suggested Barefoot Abby's talents in dealing with such traumas were of paramount interest. Barefoot Abby wasn't interested in going, but she changed her mind when she learned a sizable advance payment had already been paid by Barefoot Lady Oracle to her bank account. Barefoot Abby needed that money plus the bonus Barefoot Lady Oracle promised to pay her. So we boarded Barefoot Lady Blackhawk's jet once more and went to Saint Camillus Hospital in Perth, Western Australia. At first, I thought Barefoot Abby wasn't going to be up to it. However, she handled the situation well, as her medical and trauma care training over the years came to guide her through this trying and confusing time. My barefoot wife is an astoundingly capable barefoot woman. She quickly patched up Green Lantern Alan Scott's lost eye. He then shot off into the sky, saying there was some person he had to meet with. This turned out to be Barefoot Ellen Baker in California, according to Barefoot Lady Oracle, whom Alan told that her husband Animal Man was missing. The perpetually youthful Barefoot Ellen refused to give up hope. Back in Australia, with nothing else to do for the moment, I checked my latest e-mail messages. Barefoot Tefé reported how the Martian Manhunter managed to escape the trap Koma had set for him on Mars, and J'onn was now safely back on Earth. Koma threatens to hire other divergent villains to kill the Martian. If this situation gets out of hand, I may have to get personally involved, seeing how there is no longer going to be a Justice League to help J'onn. Perhaps I should start my own group of heroes to save him? Putting this out of my mind for a time, I went to check up on how Barefoot Abby was doing. She flipped on a television and we watched an international news broadcast. Lex Luthor said that he's created a synthesized metagene so that anyone can become a superhero. What was Luthor's motive for this? Before we could think on it, there was a disturbance outside.
It was Barefoot Shiera Kendra Saunders-Hall, the Barefoot Hawkgirl, who now was suffering the ill effects of gigantism. She toppled off the flatbed truck she had fallen from. Her arms flailed deliriously, striking herself bloodily in the face. Her dirty bare feet kicked wildly, smashing approaching vehicles. Her wings spread out with a mind of their own, blocking the path of those trying to help. She'd tipped over the ambulance carrying another critically wounded hero, so I used my great strength to get the Barefoot Hawkgirl situation under control, as Barefoot Abby helped the medical team save yet another heroic life. Alan Scott returned in time to assist us. He later explained to Steel what had come to pass. This was all the fault of Alex Luthor during the Crisis. Adam Strange, Animal Man, and Barefoot Lady Starfire were probably dead. This was terrible news. But still, every single life present here today was saved. We held a pleasant party.
I slow danced with Barefoot Abby, which proved to be a lot of fun. The brave Barefoot Hawkgirl is stablized, and may now be restored to her normal size, although the same cannot be said for the shrunken but also stable Barefoot Lady Bumblebee. The process of separating Cyborg and Firestorm from their fused state has already begun, and the others are being well taken care of. It's very good to know that Barefoot Abby and I helped in this recovery effort. Alan Scott thanked Barefoot Abby for all the help and support she's given him these past couple of days. Now we're on our way home after two days of hard work at the Australian Metahuman Medical Center. This has been a worthwhile experience. Barefoot Abby feels this time's paid off for us, in more ways than one. Since Barefoot Lady Oracle could only pay Barefoot Abby and not me, I'm still owed a favor. I intend to call in that favor from Barefoot Lady Oracle's people very soon...

Next:
Team-Up With The Barefoot Birds Of Prey.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/06/team-up-with-birds-of-prey.html

Memorial Day Reunion.

2006-05-30T19:00:00.000-07:00

Barefoot Abby went to visit her father's grave today. She broke down and cried a lot, saying that her father was the first friend she ever had and she missed him so very much. I comforted Barefoot Abby as best I possibly could. Schiller and Barefoot Marcel stopped by. Meeting with this gentle elderly couple helped to cheer up Barefoot Abby significantly. When Barefoot Abby was feeling better, she asked where Barefoot Tefé was, as our barefoot daughter hadn't returned home yet. I explained how Barefoot Tefé was still in California after leaving her cult. She was visiting the grave of her loyal friend Barnabus Tookoome. I received this e-mail detailing Barefoot Tefé's unexpected interaction with our family friend Barefoot Suzy, about how another reunion came, resulting in a rather shocking surprise for Barefoot Tefé:

re: Barefoot Tefé Holland wrote:

"Dad. After Barefoot Zaina and I returned to Titans Tower after seeing Barnabus' grave today, you'll never guess who I ran into next: Barefoot Suzy. There Barefoot Suzy was, with her friend Tim Hunter, talking to Barefoot Raven about options on how to free the Shadowpact. Apparently, it's going to take three months just to get one of them safely out of the dome they're locked up in, and the one most likely candidate for rescue is Detective Chimp. Barefoot Suzy was pretty damned pissed that she couldn't get Barefoot Raven to save all of them. Tim Hunter, who's much more powerful than Barefoot Raven, or Barefoot Zatanna, or any other magician, insisted to Barefoot Suzy that Barefoot Raven knew what she was talking about. Barefoot Raven was more concerned about the recent disappearance of the Martian Manhunter, who's been acting strangely lately. It looks like the Martian has got himself kidnapped by a divergent supervillain again. This time he was taken by a mad scientist from an alternate dimension who calls himself Captain Koma. Barefoot Raven started to explain to Barefoot Suzy and her friend about how the reappearance of divergent realities with alternate Earths could start up another Infinite Crisis, even though this Koma loser isn't anywhere near Alex Luthor's league. Barefoot Suzy said J'onn can save himself and will deal with Koma on his own. She only cared about saving the Shadowpact. Barefoot Raven was about to argue with Barefoot Suzy over this point some more. But then, Barefoot Raven saw me coming, and she headed off in the other direction in a big rush, without even finishing her talk with Barefoot Suzy. Why is it I have that kind of impact on people? Anyway, Barefoot Suzy lightened up and she was really glad to see me. We hugged, then I found out a little more of how Barefoot Suzy's pheromones work. Barefoot Zaina saw Barefoot Suzy as a prissy barefoot blonde overdressed and repressed lady barefoot secretary type and not as the nude purple barefoot nymph we know her to be. Barefoot Suzy's pal "Timmy" couldn't help but laugh at the way Barefoot Zaina carried on, since he hadn't seen anyone under the influence of Barefoot Suzy's pheromones all day. Either that, or Timmy's a total perv like his mentor John Constantine. Whatever. Timmy already has a barefoot girlfriend, of course, namely my cousin Barefoot Gemma Masters, who I finally got to meet at the hotel where they were spending their Stateside summer vacation, but Barefoot Gemma busy was taking her bath, so we left her to it.

Now, here's where it got weird. After this Hunter guy was completely convinced I haven't got my powers back yet, [and I still think he was flirting with me, which didn't make Barefoot Zaina too happy!], Barefoot Suzy said it was time we all went to what's left of San Diego, [the suburbs that didn't get hit by that huge-ass tidal wave to become Sub-Diego]. Barefoot Suzy said it was time for me to learn the truth about my first-ever childhood friend Barefoot Maxine Baker. Did you know Barefoot Lady Blackhawk is just as good a limo driver as she is a pilot? Barefoot Suzy was just glad to be back riding around in one for the day, not having done so in the last four months, courtesy of Barefoot Zinda's boss: Barefoot Lady Oracle. It made Barefoot Zaina's head spin too! When we arrived, I was the only one to get out. Barefoot Zaina liked the air-conditioning too much to brave the heat. Barefoot Suzy was too busy having an argument with Timmy to give any further attention to me. The sun blazed down on me, tanning my feminine nude ass. I barefooted over the hot sidestreet pavement into the driveway of the Baker home, wishing I'd remembered to summer-balm my always bare feet this morning. Damn, that concrete was hot! I stopped for a second to cool off my heat-scorched forever bare feet on the freshly cut front lawn. The mowed grass underfoot felt wonderfully cold and wet with all those sprinklers going. That was sweet. There's this huge sign spread over the front of the house saying: "WELCOME HOME, HERO!" I guessed Barefoot Maxine must still live with her parents, as this was clearly meant for her dad, Animal Man. The barefoot lady of the house was also outside nude soaking up the sun and she had just finished mowing the frontyard. She looked great. She waved at me, to come on in. She rinsed her sweaty hair and nice nude body with her garden hose to cool on down. I took this awesomely hot pic of her when she turned off the water. She warmly welcomed me."

"I told "Barefoot Maxine" how beautiful she looked, reintroducing myself as Barefoot Tefé, and I gave her a big hug! Then she told me she wasn't Barefoot Maxine, but her barefoot mother, Barefoot Ellen. She said she's already talked to Barefoot Suzy on the phone about today's visit. Barefoot Ellen said she was flattered to be mistaken for Barefoot Maxine. Barefoot Suzy walked up to me and asked if I was surprised by Barefoot Ellen's strangely youthful appearance. It didn't surprise me at all, having been prematurely aged myself. Barefoot Ellen showing no signs of aging just means she's luckier than my mom, who's only just beginning to age at 50. Barefoot Suzy said that's not it. She said Barefoot Ellen isn't really middle-aged at all. She stopped aging years ago. Barefoot Suzy said the real surprise was going to come from Barefoot Maxine and her brother Cliff. Barefoot Ellen opened the gate to her backyard, as we followed her. I was shocked to see her barefoot daughter, little Barefoot Maxie when I took this picture of her standing in the shade after she came outside, turning her back to me, as she did to her own future, apparently."

"She was even wearing the same childhood clothes as she had been years ago, at least until she finally took them off. She went nude in the sun again and jumped into the swimming pool with the rest of us. Guess her moment of shyness came from all of us staring at her. Still, learning that little Barefoot Maxine is a child after all these years was startling to me. Barefoot Ellen tells me that Barefoot Maxine's always going to be like this. Even Tim Hunter couldn't believe it. And Barefoot Zaina kept saying this was some kind of sick joke and Barefoot Ellen had to be the real grown-up Barefoot Maxine. But I know the truth when I see it. Barefoot Suzy, Tim, and I took turns trying to reintroduce ourselves to Barefoot Maxine. But little Barefoot Maxine just splashed water in our faces with her wet pigtails and kept calling us fakers. She hadn't seen her real friends in Free Country all that long ago and we couldn't possibly be grown-ups now in her mind. Barefoot Maxine said we were all liars, and for some reason her taunts really hurt. Barefoot Ellen said her kids don't recognize the passage of time. They'll never grow up, and Barefoot Ellen will never grow old. The Barefoot Black Orchid said this somehow took place when Animal Man returned from a trip to Earth-Prime on a mission to resurrect his dead family. That's why this happened. Destiny itself was changed to bring about an otherwise impossible resurrection. The lives of Barefoot Ellen and her kids are frozen in time. We will fix this someday, so they'll age normally, but for now I realize that Barefoot Ellen, Barefoot Maxine, and Cliff are stuck this way! Now I realize why it was so important to see little Barefoot Maxine again today, expressly for this reason. All your talk about making your own destiny, Dad? It's all true. You were always so right. Even about Barefoot Poison Ivy. I'll never doubt you again! Promise. Love you always, Barefoot Tefé."

I'm so glad Barefoot Tefé has managed to learn this. It is an important lesson I could never have taught her myself. We never control destiny, but we still manage to influence our fates. The future depends upon this. In the end, all we have is our memories and our intentions of design.

Next:
Dealing With Another Crisis.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/06/dealing-with-another-crisis.html

The Question: Seeking Answers.

2006-05-29T22:00:00.000-07:00

Barefoot Renée Montoya. The Question's Daring New Partner!

I received an e-mail from the mysterious vigilante known as
the Question tonight that raises as many questions as it answers:

re: The Question wrote:

"When does it become practical to ask a monster, from where do
monsters come, Swamp Thing? This is the Question I ask of you
tonight. Gotham City: My partner Barefoot Renée Montoya was on a
stakeout when she beheld a large hulking figure enter the building
she was watching on my behalf. Barefoot Lady Detective Montoya
determined to followed the creature inside but was familiar enough
with the place from previous situations that two stealthy entrances
were best, one on the roof that I took, and a faster one underwater,
at which point she decided upon once she finally saw the creature.
She secured her gun in a waterproof holster, stripped herself nude
and she plunged herself into the murky bay, bravely swimming to the
underwater entrance. Once inside, she realized that she was being
followed by the Question. She went to turn on the lights, but she
wound up triggering another trap door, which she quickly avoided.
The creature threw a crate at her. Swift on her dirty-soled agile
always bare feet, she jumped out of the way, but was swatted aside
by the creature, losing her gun when her sleek nude body hit the
floor. The creature attacked the Question. I was saved when my
partner fatally shot the creature with one of the high-tech weapons
that was in the crate. So what was this creature? It certainly wasn't
Solomon Grundy, Killer Croc, or any other known quantity. Let this
be the Question that is set with you. Permit me to unvex you with
another Question. How does a creature such as the Floronic Man
escape you without being witnessed? Could it be this little problem
may not be as large as it seems? Consider these facts and questions
most carefully. Interpret them at your best discretion.
Inquisitively yours, The Question."

I have no idea what sort of new monsters have been unleashed upon
Gotham. However, this mention of Woodrue not being as large as
he seems has got me to thinking. Perhaps the Floronic Man may be
smaller now? Then he would have escaped with King Toad unseen!
Now I have an answer it seems. The only question remaining tonight
is if the Question and Barefoot Renée Montoya will be able to solve
the mysteries that clearly stand out before them...

Next:
Memorial Day Reunion.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/memorial-day-reunion.html

Barefoot Tefé's Cult Experience.

2006-05-28T20:00:00.000-07:00

Was Barefoot Tefé's New Faith Misplaced?

Barefoot Tefé and Barefoot Zaina took part in the activities of Barefoot Cassandra Sandsmark's cult this weekend. Barefoot Tefé has learned a lot about herself in this experience, as her e-mail demonstrates:

re: Barefoot Tefé Holland wrote:

"Dad. I went to Titans Tower and met with Barefoot Cassie yesterday. Barefoot Zaina and I were ordained into her cult just a few hours afterward. It was actually kind of fun. Barefoot Zaina kept telling me how hot I looked in the black and red hooded robes we wear. She's so damn shallow, but that's why I love her so much, because Barefoot Zaina's crazy about me. Barefoot Cassie, on the other hand, is just plain crazy. Anyway, Ralph Dibny was really stand-offish about joining, and he's been a part of this almost as long as Barefoot Cassie. He didn't like it that the older members of the cult like himself weren't talking, and the younger members like me didn't really know anything, but that we were just along for the ride. Dibny wanted answers. He's been staying with Barefoot Cassie for well over a week now, but he doesn't feel the intimacy has availed him very much. Dibny thinks Barefoot Cassie is using him. I'm not surprised. Today we went down into an underground cavern under Titans Tower where Dibny was to finally have his initiation.

He wanted to know about the cult's promise of resurrection. He thinks Barefoot Cassie is going to bring Conner Kent back to life, and if she does then Dibny wants his barefoot wife, Barefoot Sue back as well. There was a pool of water in the caves the believers say, “immersions in the striped waters of the river Memon granted visions of the afterlife”. They asked Dibny to get in and told him the payment is not money but something more significant. He said that Barefoot Sue was all he had. Barefoot Cassie held his hand tightly. We then submerged him in the water. When he came back up he found himself alone. Our group was gone, heading back to the surface via a secret route. He must have learned as well that his wedding ring to his dead barefoot wife was gone. Barefoot Cassie snagged it, before she shoved him under the water. What a very un-superhero thing to do. A Teen Titan robbing a former Justice League member. Really! What a way to break things off. Dibny must have really felt put out. I wonder if he really saw the afterlife when he was underwater? It was probably a one-shot deal anyway. Guess I'm not going to find out what happens next, because at our high temple of worship, Barefoot Zaina got impatient and wanted to make out with me. It's not that kind of cult, wait until after hours I told her. Barefoot Zaina didn't get it. She was reprimanded by Barefoot Cassie for not giving Conner his proper praise. Barefoot Zaina said we can't make churches for every superhero who dies while saving the world. Barefoot Cassie rejected her from the cult and told her to leave, as she was an unbeliever. I opted to leave, too. Barefoot Cassie asked why should I depart the cult? Don't I want to restore my lost powers and reunify my still-remaining connection to the Green? She says if I don't do that, then I'll eventually suffer the same fate as Barefoot Lady Jade, only it will happen here on Earth. I said I've lost enough, and I don't want to lose Barefoot Zaina too. I know this Kryptonian connection thing is the right track, what with Superman's near death experiences before Doomsday, one of which you were involved in saving Superman from his Scarlet Jungle Fever, Dad. But I have to look after Barefoot Zaina. She could get into some pretty bad stuff again. Anyhow, Sunday School's over for me. I'm out of the cult and as soon as I take Barefoot Zaina home, I'll be back with Mom soon enough. I still wish I knew how all this cult business will turn out. Barefoot Zaina and I went swimming nude in the caves tonight and camped out there afterwords. Barefoot Zaina likes the way our voices are echoing in these awesome caverns. No images of the afterlife, though. No matter how long I hold my breath and stay down nude underwater. I think we can work things out. I can't wait to see you again. You're still the best Dad ever, even if you screw things up a lot. Tell Mom I'm doing fine. Turns out Barefoot Zaina had 175 dollars more in travel money than I thought we had, and--Oh, crap! That's Mr. Dibny's credit card. Damn. Barefoot Zaina took his wallet. Well, this certainly sucks. We've gotta get the hell out of here, in case he comes back. That guy's a fucking psychopath. We better haul ass, real fast! Talk to you later, Dad. Love, Barefoot Tefé."

Barefoot Tefé will be returning home soon. This is very good news indeed. Perhaps her interaction with this cult prepared her to deal with the dangerous times we have ahead of us.

Next:
The Question: Seeking Answers.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/question-seeking-answers.html

A Close Call For Steel.

2006-05-27T17:00:00.000-07:00

Can John Henry Irons Survive The Dangers Lex Luthor Throws His Way?

I was watching television with Barefoot Abby at her house today, when a news broadcast came on. Steelworks Laboratory in Metropolis exploded this morning. John Henry Irons, the director and foreman of the company was missing and presumed dead. Has Lex Luthor taken another life? We wondered. Later, around 3:45 P.M. the electrical power to Barefoot Abby's house was lost. She pulled the drapes up, and said it wouldn't be a problem if it didn't last too long. The electricity came back on at 4:30 P.M. and Barefoot Abby was glad the power outage caused by a switch failure only lasted 45 minutes. When the TV came on, we saw Steel was very much alive. He was encased in his familiar armor and speaking live to reporters. He claimed what happened to Steelworks was an accident and he was glad no fatalities took place. It would seem Steel's troubles with Luthor are only beginning. As for the local power failure here in Houma, I can't shake the feeling that Woodrue was somehow responsible. Yes, the future for everyone is starting to grow much darker. I will be staying with Barefoot Abby tonight, and make for certain she will be safe. Let us hope that Steel can do the same, protecting the people of Metropolis.

Next:
Barefoot Tefé's Cult Experience.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/tefs-cult-experience.html

The Return of Barefoot Poison Ivy!

2006-05-26T23:00:00.000-07:00

Barefoot Pamela Isley Has Made An Apology.
Should We Have Accepted Her Back Into The Family?

Barefoot Poison Ivy returned to Houma on this day, the National "Sorry Day" of the Australians to their Aboriginies. Barefoot Tefé seems to think it may be too late, and the decision of whether or not to accept Barefoot Poison Ivy's return to the bayou may already be out of my hands...

re: Barefoot Tefé Holland wrote:

"Dad, Barefoot Poison Ivy was at the house tonight! Me and Mom just got back from some late night shopping. We were talking about the lawyers who fought in court over unpaid legal fees today. Mom doesn't think much of the local courts as it is, with all the hassles you guys got from the legal system years ago about your relationship being brought into question before I was born. And lo and behold, who do we find striding nude on down the staircase other than Barefoot Poison Ivy! Mom was seriously pissed!!! Barefoot Poison Ivy tried to kill our favorite family friend Barefoot Suzy at the Battle of Metropolis. Barefoot Ivy has some damned nerve to show up here tonight, at our house! I asked what the hell does she think she's doing, hiding out in our home? Barefoot Ivy admitted to being pretty scared of you, now that she's finally gone and crossed the line. Barefoot Ivy admits she's no better than the Joker, Hush, Two-Face, the Penguin, or any of the other crazy whack-jobs in Gotham. But she wanted Mom and me to convince you to give her a second chance to help find her way. Mom screamed at Barefoot Ivy to get out, and go find her own way out of our lives, saying that we're going to get enough serious problems out of Woodrue and King Toad when they return to give us more hell. Mom says we don't need any more crazy back-stabbing out of Barefoot Poison Ivy! But Barefoot Ivy just sat down on the stairs and she cried her eyes out. Mom was about to grab her, but I stopped Mom and told her it's not safe to touch Barefoot Poison Ivy, not when Barefoot Ivy's all upset like this. I asked Mom to let me handle it. I told her I'd be okay and not to worry about me. Mom went into the living room and told me to do whatever I want to, just get Barefoot Poison Ivy out of our house. I told Barefoot Ivy to follow me outside, and I wasn't going to tell her again. I know, I know. Empty threat, since my powers are gone. But it worked. Once we were out back, I told her if she really wants to make good on her promises, then she has to go find Jason Woodrue for you and single him out, since she knows him better than anyone. She said she heard Woodrue was killed in Metropolis. I told her Woodrue is just as immortal as you, and you're the only one who can kill him, before Woodrue wipes out Houma forever and kills all of us. Then I told her about Nerk and Sissy Bob's rampage with the explosives, and about Woodrue getting King Toad out of your Prison Tree just after that. Then I mentioned my own fears about the underground methane deposits that are sitting under the town. Woodrue touches those, and we're all dead. Barefoot Ivy said she would have to think this all over. Before I could try to stop her--she just ran away! She literally went running scared for her own stupid life. I can't believe you entertained the notion of letting this coward into our family circle. I'm so disappointed in you, Dad. Barefoot Poison Ivy is so totally worthless, why didn't you see that? I don't care how she's connected to your past. She'll never be heroic, let alone ever become a worthy protector of the Green. What a waste of time! That's it. I've had it. I'm going to join the Barefoot Wonder Girl's cult. Mom says go. She doesn't care anymore, just as long as I'm safe and taking care of myself. We all know I can do that. So it's up to you to save Houma and look after Mom. I'm done here. Good-bye. Barefoot Tefé."

Barefoot Tefé has indeed abandoned me tonight because of this. Barefoot Abby says she's glad our barefoot daughter had the good sense to finally leave us now. Perhaps this whole sad business with Barefoot Poison Ivy is my fault. I honestly don't know what to think right now. My barefoot daughter hates me and she wants nothing more to do with me. I feel so terrible. Tonight's a very sorry time.

Next:
A Close Call For Steel.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/close-call-for-steel.html

A Good Quiet Day For The Holland Family.

2006-05-25T22:00:00.000-07:00

Today proved to be a most excitingly pleasant Ascension Day.
I arrived early at Barefoot Abby's house this morning to join in the family's gardening of Barefoot Abby's annual cucumber crop. She received a phone call from Barefoot Suzy, saying that several of the space heroes are now missing, in addition to there being no change in the Shadowpact's situation. Barefoot Abby asked Barefoot Suzy to calm down and just relax her troubled mind, insisting that everything would turn out to be fine for everyone who is currently unaccounted for. This is exactly what Barefoot Suzy needed to hear. My barefoot wife, Barefoot Abby is so good and excellently dependable in handling uneasy situations such as this. After getting off the phone with my young barefoot lady partner, my barefoot wife and barefoot daughter went out nude into the backyard with me to attend our gardening. Once Barefoot Abby showed Barefoot Tefé how to settle the cucumbers, Barefoot Tefé's natural knack for gardening proved to be impressive indeed. When the barefoot women were done with their garden arrangements, both looked upon me with great anticpation. Placing my hands into the earth, I felt the slow growth of the cucumbers. Speeding up the growth process, the crop sprang forth much to my family's delight. Harvesting the large cucumbers, Barefoot Abby made a splendid salad. Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Tefé enjoyed eating the salad very much, as they showered me with compliments on how delicious it was. Barefoot Tefé then left us for the day. She was going to spend some quality time at the naturist resort's sauna room with her barefoot girlfriend, Barefoot Zaina.
This left Barefoot Abby enough privacy with me to spend the rest of the day to our own love-making, putting my own personal cucumber to a very different use! When Barefoot Tefé made it home earlier tonight, Barefoot Abby insisted I return to my duties in the swamp and check up on my old friend Jordan Schiller. Barefoot Abby thanked me gratefully before I left, for another glorious time spent together romantically, as always. Barefoot Abby said she knew that I would "rise" to this occasion. It's good to know I can always satisfy my beloved barefoot wife! Such a wonderful way to dedicate this 125th post to my weblog. If only every day could be so fun and meaningful.

Next:
The Return of Barefoot Poison Ivy!
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/return-of-poison-ivy.html

A Louisiana Earth Elemental In Black Adam's Court.

2006-05-24T23:00:00.000-07:00

Today, I visited the Arab nation of Kandaq [pronounced locally as "Kahndaq", I am told]. I have met the supreme monarch of this Egyptian land, High Khan and Prophet Teth-Adam, who is known throughout the western world as Black Adam. As I approached the borders of his kingdom, I found his reaction to be most prompt.
He levitated before me, demanding an explanation for my presence.
I began to worry that my slow speech patterns would try his patience. But he listened attentively, and deigned to escort me personally to his palace. It would seem his intentions for diplomacy are genuine,
if somewhat more than heavy-handed. And indeed, I do seem to fit with his expression of seeking alliances that desire to change the world, as I have clearly done in the past. I rather tend to think he was more concerned with the changing nature of magic, for that is the source of his power. At any rate, we discussed the present states of our respective dominions. He has had to deal with issues of famine, Palestinian terrorism, domestic abuses, and invasive foreign intrusions within his borders. Black Adam was pleased to find my company so leniently compliant to his wishes. He approved that I was merely a benevolent visitor to his court seeking to address certain issues. He even explained why it is not permitted for a being such as myself to effect environmental changes in his country for the better, but to express my opinions directly to him and his court for his eventual consideration. In truth, he feels his influence alone is the only salvation his homeland has. This is why he feels he must go to such extreme lengths to protect his home and slowly incorporate it's development by his own actions. When we arrived at the subject of my own problems, he merely addressed the topic of the Floronic Man not belonging to this dimension and the prompt need for his disposal. Black Adam supports King Toad's rebellion, sadly. He would however provide asylum for my family in his own palace, should the worst for Houma come to pass. The Cajuns, he believes, should be my responsiblity alone. He posits that as the Good Gumbo Man, I am the Prophet of the Acadians, and therefore I should be the one to righteously guide and deliver them onto salvation. In the end of this counsel, while our positions did not change, it seems our separate paths have attained new directions. He will seek more constructive means to preserve his kingdom, encouraging a more open-minded standing amongest his people. Meanwhile, I am to crackdown on the Floronic Man problem. If and when Jason Woodrue is located, it is then Black Adam would be more than happy to help me destroy him, so long as Woodrue is no longer aligned with King Toad. It is with this complicated state of affairs that I left the corrupt Black Adam's country for my own. Nothing has changed here in any profound sense, but I cannot help but think today's interaction, shared understanding that was of positive effect. Perhaps someday, we will know full the implications of today's meeting in the terms Black Adam knows best. In the edicts constantly founded in ancient and modern history...

Next:
A Good Quiet Day For The Holland Family.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/good-quiet-day-for-holland-family.html

Black Adam: Has He Gone Too Far This Time?

2006-05-23T15:00:00.000-07:00

Today is the Day of Disunity, according to the Discordianists. Is it any wonder then, that Black Adam choose to open the Embassy of Kandaq on this day? Barefoot Tefé has her own thoughts on the latest extreme action on the part of Black Adam...

re: Barefoot Tefé Holland wrote:

"Hey, Dad. You wouldn't believe what happened in New York City today. Black Adam was at the opening of Kandaq’s United Nations Embassy in the Big Apple with his prisoner Terra-Man, who didn't seem so trapped, but rather the outlaw cowboy seemed to be enjoying himself. Go figure. Anyway, Adam starts talking about how the world has praised their heroes but where are the Batman, Superman, the Barefoot Wonder Woman, Captain Marvel, and all the other big shots now? Well, he does have a point there. He said he hopes to gather allies that will deliver a message to those wanting to talk advantage of their absence. Then he said, “The first message is simple people like this man don’t deserve to live.” He picked up Terra-Man by the seat of his pants and ripped him in two!!!! Damn, that was awesome! Scary, but awesome at the same time. Now that's the kind of treatment King Toad has coming. And this Black Adam episode was broadcast live, so everybody saw it. Yes! Adam just flew away after that, shouting back to the press, “It’s time for heroes who don’t just patrol the world, but to change it!” Admit it, this is some serious food for thought, given the danger we're facing. Anyway, this is turning out to be an intense week for watching TV. Booster Gold wins and then loses a fortune gambling with a bad investment on Sunday, then Lex Luthor clears his name on Monday, and now Black Adam gets away with "pulling" this today! Mom thinks Black Adam is completely nuts for doing that to Terra-Man, but what do you think? You've got to stop the Floronic Man somehow. Maybe you should consider doing things the "Black Adam" way. Maybe then you'll get some results. I don't know. The middle ground not be any safer than the high or low roads. But doing that put me where I am now and I guess I'm happy, if still a little scared. So give this Black Adam guy's methods a little consideration, okay? It may sound extreme, but remember, we are all still in danger here at home. They're still fighting one of the fires down the street. We have no idea if Nerk and Sissy Bob bought it when they blew all that stuff up, trying to kill the town. King Toad escaped from you, the next day. You have no idea where Jason Woodrue is. And Barefoot Suzy's going nuts looking for ways to save the Shadowpact. All the more reason to look into every option available to keep Houma safe, like Black Adam is doing for Kandaq. Keep working at it, Dad. You're still the best. Love, Barefoot Tefé."

Perhaps I should reserve judgment in the case of Black Adam until
I meet with him personally to settle this matter. Tomorrow, I should
pay the monarch of Kandaq a proper visit. Yes. I will do exactly that.

Next:
A Louisiana Earth Elemental In Black Adam's Court.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/louisiana-earth-elemental-in-black.html

Lex Luthor's Latest Deception.

2006-05-22T23:00:00.000-07:00

Luthor Has Returned. And He's Up To His Old Tricks...

The Barefoot Black Orchid returned to STAR Labs for her check-up today, despite Barefoot Suzy's desire to continue investigating the Shadowpact's sudden disappearance. She was curious about the situation with the apparent death of "Lex Luthor", who we believe to the corpse of the divergent young Alex Luthor altered to become an exact double for the older Lex Luthor belonging to this Earth. After seeing her doctor, Barefoot Suzy lurked outside of the medical examining room to spy and await the results of the latest autopsy.
To her surprise, she was only to witness the true, living Luthor's arrival upon the scene...

re: Barefoot Susan Linden-Thorne-Weems II wrote:

"Alec, I was about to leave STAR Labs today and resume my search for the Shadowpact out west, when I heard important talk coming from the room where the alleged body of Lex Luthor was being examined. Sure enough, the identity of the body is indeed a sham. John Henry Irons, the man we know as Steel, discovered colored contact lenses. Now he knew the body was a fake. Yet, before he could actually do anything with this information, the real Lex Luthor came barging in with the press claiming that he was imprisoned in an alternate dimension, while this other Luthor went around pretending to be him, forming the Villains United Society, creating the OMACs, and nearly destroying the world. I barely had time to properly hide myself from all those people Luthor brought with him. The last thing I want is to be caught on film in a compromising situation such as this, unless it is of my own time and choosing. Fortunately, no one knew I was there, as I'd ducked behind a corner to hide myself just in time. Luckily, I was able to hear what was being said clearly, as the news programs would probably censor a lot of what was actually conversed. Luthor claimed he escaped during the Crisis which John Henry Irons can verify. John Henry has said nothing to refute this, so basically Luthor was cleared of everything on the spot! Anyway, that's what happened today. Now that he's no longer President, or a fugitive anymore, it looks like LexCorp is going to reopen. Lex Luthor is back in business. Oh, how I despise the man! The sooner I can get out of Metropolis, the better. Just thought you'd want to know about this. I'm going back to looking for ways to find or contact the Shadowpact, assuming they're still alive. I don't have time for involvement in this kind of situation. I hope Steel can manage to deal with all of this. He's the only one who can directly oppose Luthor, now that Superman is gone. Let's hope this isn't another disaster in the making.
Sincerely yours, Barefoot Suzy."

Lex Luthor is back in the game, and this time there may be no one left to stop him. As if the problems of this world were not frustrating enough...

Next:
Black Adam: Has He Gone Too Far This Time?
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/black-adam-has-he-gone-too-far-this.html

A Gathering of United Heroes.

2006-05-21T22:00:00.000-07:00

Heroes United.

I'm quite enjoying my new association with the Heroes: United.
It's proving to be an enlightening experience, meeting so many interdimensional survivors of the Infinite Crisis. As you can see in the ensemble picture above, even time travel is allowed to expand the ranks of the gatherings, as several of the heroes I am familiar with, would not have been present. The family joined in and had a wonderful time, of course. All-in-all--today's gathering of heroes was an incredible, wonderful, magnificent diversion. This feeling of happiness and belonging has helped to raise my spirits tremendously.
Never again will I feel so alone. For truly, we are all Heroes: United.

Next:
Lex Luthor's Latest Deception.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/lex-luthors-latest-deception.html

Barefoot Tefé's Graduation, and Barefoot Zatanna's Birthday.

2006-05-20T22:00:00.000-07:00

Today was Barefoot Tefé's high school graduation day. I cannot tell you how proud and happy I am for her! The commencement was at Terrebonne Parish Civic Center in Houma at 4:00 P.M. Sadly, an unfortunate incident came to pass, as earlier in the day her barefoot girlfriend, Barefoot Zaina locked the keys in the car Barefoot Tefé had shared with her. Barefoot Tefé was most unhappy about this, as Barefoot Zaina had told too many people about her mistake. The car was broken into and stolen with ease. Barefoot Abby did her best to calm Barefoot Tefé down, insisting this was not the end of the world. Barefoot Tefé told Barefoot Abby she was counting on that car for a fast escape from Houma, should King Toad and Woodrue come out of hiding. Barefoot Abby said we can protect ourselves from any danger, just as we always have. Barefoot Abby just wanted a quiet graduation day. Such was not the case, as Barefoot Tefé found herself seated uncomfortably amongst the graduating students. Several rowdy drunks seated directly behind her, screaming obscenities at the all-too-forgiving Principal. The same school adminstrator, Barefoot Tefé pointed out, who almost flunked her out and nearly threatened to force her to repeat her final year, rather undeservingly. The noise became deafeningly painful. Barefoot Tefé wanted to hit the invasively loud fools with something. But Barefoot Tefé restrained herself, for she has suffered through far worse than this. After waiting a frustratingly long time, she tells me, she strided her always bare feet onto the stage in her line and received her diploma. Barefoot Abby cheered for Barefoot Tefé excitedly. The ceremony over, Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Tefé found themselves trapped in a crowd of people milling about. They were forced to hold hands to keep from getting separated until reaching the exit and finally going home. Barefoot Abby wanted to stay for the reception party, but Barefoot Tefé refused as she'd only be ridiculed for being another barefoot lesbian, by the bullies. Barefoot Tefé was content to be home and get some well deserved rest. Barefoot Abby found out one of the congratulation cards they have received was from the mysterious Barefoot Lady Oracle, who'd obviously been Jim Gordon's help in making certain Barefoot Tefé's graduation came to pass. This helped improve and comfort Barefoot Abby's peace of mind a great deal. Barefoot Tefé did however manage a smile. She is glad that, "Another long crazy nightmare is over." Indeed.

"Free, at last!" she said. Now let us hope that all this was worth it...

And Then, There Was Our Sexy Nude Beautiful
Barefoot Lady Friend, The Lovely Barefoot Zatanna!

Later this evening, Barefoot Suzy and I went to San Francisco,
California to attend Barefoot Zatanna's 46th birthday pool party.
Everyone affectionately knows her as "Barefoot Zee", for short.

Barefoot Zatanna first introduced me to Barefoot Cassandra Craft,
blind clairvoyant and keeper of Barefoot Zatanna's mystical library.
Barefoot Cassandra also now possesses the mystic medallion of the
Phantom Stranger. The amulet glowed beneath her wet nude breasts.

Another beautiful blonde Barefoot Cassandra was at the pool party.
Barefoot Cassie Sandsmark, the exquisite Barefoot Wonder Girl.

The well-bronzed nude young Barefoot Amazon DemiGoddess smiled.
Her designs were unknown to us, though her presence was inspiring.

And there were the Justice League's beautiful Barefoot Birds of Prey.
Our barefoot female traveling companions certainly had a fun time.
There was Barefoot Zinda Blake.
Barefoot Lady Blackhawk joined the party, enjoying her nude swim.

There was Barefoot Dinah Lance.
The beautiful Barefoot Black Canary is as sexy as she is complicated.

There was Barefoot Cindy Reynolds.
The bronzed Barefoot Lady Gypsy said she can't resist a good party.

There was Barefoot Mari McCabe.
The Barefoot Lady Vixen posed nude well for our cameras, of course.

Barefoot Zatanna invited some of her friends from Britain as well.
John Constantine could not make the trip, so he sent his mutual
friend Tim Hunter in his place. Barefoot Suzy introduced me to
her childhood friend, "Timmy" whom I only saw briefly once
before at Stonehenge, on that dreadful night when the Spectre
was invoked. Meeting this young man was an interesting experience.

Hunter is said to be the most powerful magician living. So I asked for
some advice in handling my current situations. He proved unequal
for any of the tasks. I declined to ask specifically for his help, but the
young Hunter did mention he would someday truly like to meet my
barefoot daughter, Barefoot Tefé, should she ever regain her powers.

Tim's date is Constantine's barefoot niece, Barefoot Gamma Masters.

Barefoot Gemma is friendly with Barefoot Zatanna and to me, but
I sense she already knows too much about the ways of dark sorcery.

There were also guests from other dimensions at the pool party.
Present was Barefoot Lady Nuala Llyrion, a Barefoot Elf Princess.
She is the Barefoot Lady Scion of the Eldritch Seelie Court of Faerie.

Barefoot Nuala also serves in the Dreaming. She knew my friend, the
late Matthew Cable. We both had a great deal to relate about him. As
Matthew the Raven, he was a strong good influence to the residents
of the Dreaming. Barefoot Nuala hopes she will live up to Matthew's
strength and courage. I'm glad Matthew at last found his redemption.

There was Barefoot Amy Winston.
Barefoot Lady Amethyst, the Barefoot Princess of the Gemworld next
greeted me as she emerged in her wet loin-sash raiment in the pool.
Her exotic regal majestic body jewelry shimmered brightly in the sun.
The beautiful barefoot blonde sorceress and I had much to talk about.

And there were those friends we do not encounter often enough.
Barefoot Suzy spent most of the time in the pool, taking underwater
pictures of our friends. Barefoot Mary Marvel is very beautiful nude.

The party for Barefoot Zee was brief and finished quickly since most
of the guests expressed concerns for the missing Shadowpact heroes.
The only remaining note on this occasion was the television news,
observing today the act of Black Adam's slaying of members of the
international criminal organization known as Intergang, in Kandaq.
Barefoot Mary hopes Black Adam's tyranny won't get out of control.

Shortly after watching this report, we noticed the immortal mystic
Dr. Occult finally arrived, overdressed for the party, and an hour late.

Barefoot Zatanna threw back her slick wet ponytailed dark hair,
and she smiled at him, dancing nude at her place in the pool.

Barefoot Zee said the party was over. She hoped everyone
enjoyed it, and she politely asked us all to start leaving now.
This was to be Barefoot Zatanna's genuine way of celebrating
her birthday. "Tease me!--Please me!" She proudly sang
with the loud classic rock and roll background music.

The trenchcoated man then vanished. He was instantly replaced
with a beautiful perpetually barefoot woman in a summer dress.
Unexpectedly, Barefoot Rose Psychic now stood in Occult's place.
[This ageless couple share a decades-long corporeal existence].
The eternally young flapper-styled Barefoot Rose grinned at us.

Barefoot Rose quickly undressed...

Her typically dirty soles and dusty toes of her always bare feet
bounded gracefully across the patio, racing to the water...

And she barely made a splash with her nude, clean dive...

She plunged gracefully nude into the pool, and so to our delight.

Barefoot Suzy, who was still underwater, took this lovely nude picture
of Barefoot Rose. Barefoot Zee smiled. Barefoot Rose sprinted her
swimming nude body toward her, while Barefoot Zee smiled brightly.
Barefoot Zatanna's amorous intent for the mystically-combined couple
was clear. Sexual excitement filled the air. It felt most pleasing.
Occult emerged nude on the pool's far end, and he was embraced by
Barefoot Zatanna. The lovers submerged. Barefoot Suzy, finished
with her own swimming, left the pool and joined us on the bench.
Barefoot Suzy smiled. The party was now definitely over for the rest
of us. Still, we all remained and watched. Barefoot Zatanna and
Barefoot Rose emerged happily from the water. The evening sunlight
glistened on their dripping wet faces and their wet slicked-back hair.
The two nude beautiful barefoot women kissed passionately...

...while they submerged themselves gracefully again, as the sun set.
This was most remarkable, seeing the barefoot lady magician in the
water embraced by the powerful Dr. Occult for one moment, and her
kissing the sweet lovely Barefoot Rose Psychic, with the very next.
Barefoot Zatanna casually waved good-bye to us before returning
underwater to make love to Occult/Barefoot Rose, in so loving each
of them the same. Understanding and loving both of them, in such a
way no one else ever would. Everyone present laughed cheerfully for
this reassuring pleasantry, and we all prepared to leave. The rest of
Barefoot Zee's devoted friends and lovers showed themselves out, as
Barefoot Suzy and I went outside into the garden to talk alone.
We discussed the future, which seemed appropriate. I told
Barefoot Suzy not to worry or despair over the Shadowpact's
fate. She insisted I do the same about the situation in Houma.
We hugged and said our good-byes. I have just returned home to the
bayou. Today was a fine day. I am so proud of my family and friends,
and everything we have accomplished. In these uncertain times,
we continue to make the most of our lives.

And that is in the best interests for everyone.

Next:
A Gathering of United Heroes.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/gathering-of-united-heroes.html

Family, Friendships, Faith!

2006-05-19T23:00:00.000-07:00

I stayed at the cabin today, remaining inside for some odd reason, staring out the window despairingly. These human traits I am experiencing are becoming increasingly strange. Why should I feel this compulsion to hide myself away? Fortunately, Barefoot Tefé came to my emotional rescue, for once. I noticed this, when she first walked inside to join me, the lovely adornments decorating my barefoot daughter's leisurely always bare feet were hard to miss, when I casually glanced down:

Barefoot Tefé's beautiful barefoot anklets were visually pleasing to me. I don't see this sort of thing much in our marshy location outside of town. Barefoot Tefé said she'd forgotten to take them off, she was glad she hadn't ruined them. When asked, she said she they were a gift sent to her in the mail when she joined an online faith cult. We paused our discussion and went outside. When we reached the water, we plunged down into the swamp for a good long underwater swim. When we surfaced, Barefoot Tefé rested her wet nude body on some rocks to sun herself and wanted to know what was actually on my mind, since I never make such a big deal out of something so trivial, unless something important has come up. First, I was curious about this new cult. Barefoot Tefé said that's news she had yet to tell me.
A couple of days ago, Barefoot Tefé learned of a new religious cult devoted to Conner Kent. Barefoot Cassandra Sandsmark had joined them last week and she was promoted to their leadership most recently. Barefoot Tefé joined the local branch of this new cult movement and she received her elegant new barefoot jewelry today. Barefoot Tefé admits she's not the spiritual type outside of our family experiences, but she is certainly curious about the Kryptonian practices of which her barefoot girlfriend Barefoot Cassie now takes part. Barefoot Tefé said she's received several e-mails concerning this, especially now that private detective Ralph Dibny (the former superhero Elongated Man) has become directly involved with the Barefoot Wonder Girl, investigating the cult's affairs. I asked Barefoot Tefé if anything else was happening in the world today. Indeed, Barefoot Risa Del Toro was arrested by Miami's Vampire Crime Unit this week, while Barefoot Suzy and I were away investigating the Shadowpact situation. Perhaps now that situation will be sorted out. Barefoot Tefé also reported yesterday the Gotham City Homicide Unit of the GCPD found the body of one "Lex Luthor." Doubtlessly, Constantine's final arrangements for his friend Alex Luthor were as short-lived as Conner Kent's former final resting place in Smallville. Now both of these deceased young men are getting questionable attention shown in Gotham and Metropolis. Last evening, Egyptian monarch tyrant Black Adam stopped an aerial battle between the Barefoot Power Girl and Terra-Man over Kandaq, explaining that the barefoot superheroine was violating his country's airspace. He placed the western supervillain into his own custody, a move that is certain to stir up even more international controversy.
I asked Barefoot Tefé how things are at home with Barefoot Abby. Barefoot Tefé said everything is fine. She now has a revised report card with passing grades, and accordingly, she has received her invite to attend her Graduation ceremony tomorrow afternoon. Barefoot Tefé is certainly glad Barefoot Abby has called in her favors owed to her from James Gordon, leading to this. Tomorrow should be a good and meaningful time, even if I cannot attend Barefoot Tefé's graduation day myself. There must be some form of gathering where I can discuss matters with other heroes with weblogs of their own more regularly. Yes, I shall begin an online search. If fortune is with me, I may find others with interests like my own. I have a feeling things may turn out for the best after all. No more feeling sorry for myself, that much is for certain. I cannot fall into despair again, for too much is at stake. When I finally told Barefoot Tefé of the Shadowpact's fate, for example, she insisted that I must "Get a grip!"
If there are other heroes out there who will have me, then I hope to find them soon. For I could use the extra friendship. Perhaps needed moral support from others faced with triumphs and frustrations will do wonders for me. Yes. We shall have to see about this.

Next:
Barefoot Tefé's Graduation, and Barefoot Zatanna's Birthday.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/tefs-graduation-zatannas-birthday.html

The Search For The Shadowpact.

2006-05-18T22:00:00.000-07:00

What Unknown Fate Has Happened To These Heroes?

Today I spent working with the now-recovered Barefoot Black Orchid, beside Barefoot Zatanna, Barefoot Lady Witchfire, and Rex the Wonder Dog in Riverrock, Wyoming. Despite the extreme measures we employed, there was no breaking into the dome in which the Shadowpact is mysteriously trapped. The rescue effort seemed hopeless, yet we continued to try.

My partner, the Barefoot Black Orchid became increasingly frustrated, when our combined physical strength proved useless. Barefoot Suzy loves Blue Devil with all her heart. She knows him well, and has no wish of ever losing him.

The young Barefoot Lady Witchfire's pyrokinetic ablilities also proved equally useless against the mystically fortified dome. She has a strong admiration for the Barefoot Enchantress and Barefoot Lady Nightshade. Barefoot Lady Witchfire had high hopes of freeing them.

Even Barefoot Zatanna's formidable mastery of magic could not remove the dome's enchantment from this plane of existence, and she finally came to tears because of it. Barefoot Zatanna is very close friends with the Nightmaster and Ragman, both of whom have earned her respect. She has extensive histories with every member of the Shadowpact, making their apparent loss all the more sad and tragic.

In his turn, Rex the Wonder Dog took part in our desperate attempts to free the Shadowpact, even futilely biting at the dome with his teeth! He is loyal to his lifelong friend Bobo the Chimpanzee, known to us today as Detective Chimp.

Lastly, I attempted to enter the dome from beneath the earth. Failing that, I resorted to minor geothermal gradient compression for a few seconds. Repairing the environment beneath the dome to its non-volcanic state, I was to forced to admit defeat. Without the Shadowpact, I am the only hope my home has left against the dangers we face. I soon found myself alone, everyone else having given up hope in utter frustration, or setting out to find others to redouble these desperate efforts. I simply don't know what can be done. I merely concentrated my energy on returning to the surface.

Barefoot Suzy did not wait up for my return. I collected my discarded laptop and faced the impenetrable dome alone before turning back to the airplane trip home. The Phantom Stranger has now assigned Barefoot Madame Valda, the Barefoot Iron Maiden to stand watch over the dome for the first month-long vigil, with Barefoot Lady Witchfire's turn to follow. The Shadowpact is now lost to us, perhaps forever! This place may be their tomb. Depression and sheer frustration is beginning to overwhelm me. Our often-cheerful barefoot lady pilot, Barefoot Lady Blackhawk shares our sadness on this grim occasion. We don't know what to do next. I feel so lost...

Next:
Family, Friendships, Faith!
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/family-friendships-faith.html

Talking With A Stranger.

2006-05-17T22:00:00.000-07:00

As If Things Couldn't Get Any Worse, Now The Shadowpact Has Disappeared!

The Phantom Stranger appeared to me tonight. He explained the implications of the Spectre's war on magic. He said the world was becoming increasingly strange, and growing stranger by the minute. He said the Ninth Age of Magic was over, but the Tenth had yet to fully form. Dark evil sorcery was returning to our world, such as the dead storyteller's magic that unleashed King Toad. The Stranger said he had temporarily restored Superman's powers and sent him to investigate a mysterious blood-red dome covering over the town of Riverrock, Wyoming. When Superman failed to penetrate the dome as his powers began to permanently fade once more, the Stranger called upon the Shadowpact. The now-powerless Superman summoned Green Lantern Hal Jordan meanwhile, who likewise failed to break the mystical barrier surrounding the town. The Stranger created a doorway for which the Shadowpact was to enter the otherdimensional vortex within. Now their fate remains unknown, perhaps it shall be for quite some time. The Stranger disappeared into the darkness, as I began to question him. This is a most disturbing mystery, definitely unforseen bad news for the remaining Barefoot Black Orchid and all concerned. Wherever the Shadowpact is now, may they safely return in time...

Next:
The Search For The Shadowpact.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/search-for-shadowpact.html

Zombie Attack!

2006-05-16T16:00:00.000-07:00

My life is filled with the most unexpected and monstrous horrors. Case in point-- Earlier this afternoon, I was attacked by the zombies of all the 25 construction project workmen who were murdered by King Toad last December, all of whom I had buried in an unmarked mass grave, along with their equipment and the personal effects each man had carried while working out here on that unspeakably bloody day. I thought to protect the swamps, in taking King Toad as my prisoner instead of letting him, and these dead men, know the unreserved justice wrought by civilization. I only took into account the harm the environment and the Cajun Folk would suffer if I had not done this. I did not forsee the needs of men already perished. The zombies attacked me mercilessly, outraged that even in death, they could never be found by their families, friends and loved ones. They did not want their horrible fate to remain forever unknown, their pain forever unseen. So I thought deeply upon this, as they began to dismember me. Then, realizing others would come to harm after the assault upon me, I staged a counterattack. I smashed the corpses with the fury of the violated earth, and I righteously sent the dead men screaming back to their hidden grave far below me. It was a harrowing, terrifying experience for me, one that I hope never to have to repeat. Pulling myself together, but still quite shaken, I went to talk with Jordan Schiller. I told him how unfair this situation is becoming. He said he'd rather be out here with me in the bayou than anywhere else. He said if he had stayed in civiization, he'd be forced to pay back every penny he owed to the hospital. He also said I'd healed him in ways he'd never thought possible. Schiller said he was at peace. This made me feel a great deal of regret, for so much remains uncertain here. He said I had better take control of the situation then. I must find a way to stop King Toad. Too many lives are counting on me. I cannot fail. There must be a way. Somehow..

2 Comments:

David Porter said...
From the dripping evergreen forests of Cascadia, I read this and wonder what brain has spawned this landscape and chronology..... marvelous. Yes, marvelous. Like Twin Peaks all under again....

Swamp Thing said...
Thank you for this fine complement. It's always good to have one's efforts appreciated.

Next:
Talking With A Stranger.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/talking-with-stranger.html

Barefoot Tefé: Not A Fan Of Booster Gold.

2006-05-15T21:00:00.000-07:00

Beware False Prophets. And Corporate Sponsors!

Barefoot Tefé's patience in suffering fools in the media wears thin. She perceives the perplexing celebrity status of Booster Gold for example, as a sign of the problems in human society to come:

re: Barefoot Tefé Holland wrote:

"Dad. We finally have TV reception here in Houma again, and guess who's stealing airtime on every single channel. Guess! That's right, Booster Gold! That lamebrain techno-super-idiot (who must think punching reporters in the nose he disagrees with is a good idea!) Booster Gold has got commercials, primetime coverage specials, media news circuses, even a big movie deal he's got coming up. It's getting to the point we can't even sit down to watch the tube without seeing this freejacked moron getting way too much airtime anymore. There's all this talk about Booster knowing the future and wanting to change his destiny. This idea is just plain stupid. He should have just taken the hint when the Justice League didn't reform and beat it. But no, he's still around. Just a glutton for punishment. I hope somebody settles his hash and he'll disappear in a few months. Anyway, there's plenty of stupidity to go around. The Principal called me and Mom in after school today and tried to tell us he was going to flunk me out of my damned diploma and make me repeat senior year! After all the hard work I've done to catch up on all my skip days and failed tests, that's all the thanks I get! Mom was even more pissed than I was. Mom said she was going to take this to the Board of Education if she had to. She laid the guilt trip down on him pretty heavy, saying how hard it's been for us. She even referenced you to this nitwit. Mom still talks about you like you're a normal man with an extremely difficult social disability, just to explain why you can't get involved in this kind of crap. It's just so weird. I imagine if you did show up to complain about my mistreatment in the Principal's office, he'd change his tune about me real fast! Anyway, while wasting my time watching stupid-ass Booster Gold on the aptly-named idiot box at home, Mom got to calling. She called up James Gordon out east in New Jersey for some reason, thinking the old coot who used to run the Gotham City police department could be of some help to us. Not only did Mom try to talk the old geezer into trying to get his old job back from that Akins guy who happens to be running the GCPD into the ground now, she got Gordon to help us somehow. I don't know what he told her. Mom hung up after a thankful good-bye and said he was going to reach some person who could fix things for me. She didn't know who. After a while, Mom got a call from the Principal at home saying he could straighten things out with the teachers. I am going to graduate with all my friends on the 20th. And that's assuming Jason Woodrue, King Toad, Nerk and Bob, or even Uncle Anton don't show up again to give us hell before then. Things are getting better I suppose. I wish Booster Gold would go away. His fifteen minute fame time is over! Goldenboy's so lame. He'll never be a real hero like you. He'd already know that, if he really is from the future. You're the hero who keeps us safe, even if you wussed out on stomping King Toad. You're still the best. I wish people would realize that. Love, Barefoot Tefé."

Clearly Booster Gold's rise to fame, however fleeting, is simply meant to be. However, given my experiences I would provide him with this timeless warning, "Beware when playing with fire. In time you might very well be burned!" Never can this saying be any more true, when striving for fame and fortune in the public view. Let us hope such a fate never befalls Houma, or the good people out here in the bayou.

Next:
Zombie Attack!
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/zombie-attack.html

Barefoot Mother's Day Memories.

2006-05-14T18:00:00.000-07:00

Beautiful Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Tefé Holland.
The Loving Barefoot Mother and Barefoot Daughter.

Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Tefé spent a wonderful Barefoot Mother's Day together at Barefoot Abby's house in Houma. I'm told the town's situation, however precarious has settled down somewhat with the disappearance of King Toad. Barefoot Abby considers this a sign of Houma's strength, calling it the little town that could. Barefoot Tefé says everyone's just burying their heads in the sand, now that the fires are lessening in extremity. There are explosives and chemical accelerants stolen by Bad Nerk and Sissy Bob from the town's major construction company that are still left unaccounted for. The police ignored Barefoot Abby's warnings about King Toad as we expected they would, instead believing the Cajun Folk are to blame. It seems Tee-Tonti's concerns are well-founded. Still, it goes against human nature to live in a state of perpetual terror. Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Tefé are preparing for the worst both in town and in the swamp. But our family is still hoping for the best. We must refuse to run away from all this. Perhaps all that truly matters at present is the barefoot women are living together peacefully for now. Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Tefé are close, bonding so beautifully more than ever, as much as our family could possibly hope. They worked together to clear the smoke from the nearby fires from the house, and handled as many neglected household chores together as possible while communicating in ways they have needed for such a long time.
I came over briefly, manifesting in the backyard. A lot of the garden has burned down, but at least it protected the house. The next time we may not be so lucky. Barefoot Tefé showed me some mouse traps in Barefoot Abby's house, how three field mice were caught while the family was out of town. Barefoot Tefé lifted one trap containing a dead rodent. She told me this is how I should consider King Toad and all of his kind. This gave me a lot to think about. I watched on, as Barefoot Abby smiled and pulled all of her hair back into a sleek even ponytail. She proceeded to lovingly bathe Barefoot Tefé's long hair, gently shampooed and rinsed our barefoot daughter's natural fine white hair, while pleasant symphony music romantically played on the stereo. Barefoot Tefé liked how good her clean slicked-back hair felt. Barefoot Abby was pleased. They reclined their sexy nude bodies on the couch together, with their lovely always bare feet raised up high, the day's dirt present on their lovely barefoot soles contrasted nicely, as I took this beautiful black-and-white picture of them before I left. Barefoot Abby sent the image on to my laptop, which I kept at the cabin in the swamp. It's good that Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Tefé have settled their differences now. They are most comfortable in sharing company. This is a comfort to me, certainly good reason for Barefoot Abby to count her blessings, celebrating this memorable Barefoot Mother's Day spent with our beautiful barefoot daughter.

Next:
Barefoot Tefé: Not A Fan Of Booster Gold.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/tef-not-fan-of-booster-gold.html

The Barefoot Black Orchid and Blue Devil: Together Again!

2006-05-13T17:00:00.000-07:00

Barefoot Suzy Is Passionately Reunited With Her Demonic Lover.
But Will This Time Their Relationship Last?

re: Barefoot Susan Linden-Thorne-Weems II wrote:

"Alec, It's been a few days since we've talked. I think your friends and family's valiant effort to save Houma is commendable. I wish I could come out and help you get the situation under control, but I'm still laid up here at STAR Labs Medical Research in Metropolis. It's been a difficult recovery, made worse by the horrible news about what's happening in Houma. I'm so afraid for all of you! Then there was all that racket I heard a few days back, Booster Gold kept shouting at the STAR techs about his intel-hover-droid Skeets being broken. Oh, and I can't believe they took Conner Kent out of his mausoleum in Smallville and put him in Superman's old tomb here in Metropolis so they could drum up another superhero ceremony for the press. Couldn't they let the poor soul rest in peace? As for me, I'm getter better I suppose. I'm still weak as anything, but at least now I can get out of bed to feed and bathe myself. Still no steam emission from my eyes. But the air conditioning, the cooling showers, and taking in plenty of ice cold drinking water helps. The Shadowpact came to visit me too. How I've missed them all so much! Especially Blue Devil, we've hooked up again. Now I know this may be a mistake, it certainly was before. But I couldn't let this go without making sure. Daniel seems to really care for me, even if he won't commit to a relationship. He is still so insufferable about his independence. But he did say he was sorry about leaving me for Barefoot Lady Nightshade. He said neither Barefoot Lady Nightshade nor the Barefoot Enchantress [Daniel was dating Barefoot June long before this fling with Barefoot Eve!] hold any interest for him. He wants to be with me now. He says the other barefoot women in his life are being compromised by their own magic. Do I believe him? Should I even care? We're together again, and that's all that matters to me! We love each other, and despite his demonic faults, I can't bring myself to leave him. So we're going to try this merry-go-round one more time. All my best wishes go out to you. Keep the family safe. Love you so much as always, Barefoot Suzy."

re: Demon-Man Dan, Hell's Blue Devil-Man wrote:

"Swamp Thing. You're the boss of all of us. I'm serious. While stuck-up head honchos like the Phantom Stranger may be calling all the shots, it's guys like you that keep us going. I'm going to take better care of my barefoot babe, Barefoot Suzy this time out. Guess I got my serious conscience call when I saw that putz Booster Gold punch my favorite reporter Clark Kent in the nose [hell of a nice guy and good reporter, that Kent reminds me of somebody I know...], and I realized what an imbecile I've been with Barefoot Suzy. Leaving her for Barefoot Lady Nightshade. What was I thinking? Barefoot Eve Eden has nothing on Barefoot Suzy, I'm telling you now. I had to screw it all up and see it, if I ever wanted to learn to do things right. Shadowpact missions and life in general may take me away from Barefoot Suze for long periods of time, take it to heart my sexy barefoot girl has my loyalty. Will it last, you ask? Who cares? It's good enough to know in this messed-up world we try to be happy. I'm commiting to Barefoot Suzy, and no amount of hellfire or vampish seduction is going to stop me this time! We're made for each other. Barefoot Suzy's the best barefoot girlfriend I've ever had since Barefoot Zatanna! It's destiny. I'll make her happy. That's a promise. Keep on fighting the good fight, Green God. Blue Devil."

Life is full of surprises. The Barefoot Orchid and the Devil are together again. Perhaps they will make it work this time. For the sake of my barefoot lady friend Barefoot Suzy's happiness let this turbulent relationship be a glorious success.

Next:
Barefoot Mother's Day Memories.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/mothers-day-memories.html

Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Tefé: Back In Houma.

2006-05-12T19:00:00.000-07:00

My Barefoot Wife, Barefoot Abby. She Is The Bravest Person I Know.

Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Tefé went back into Houma today. Barefoot Abby said she had to warn the police about King Toad. Barefoot Tefé also wanted to be with Barefoot Zaina. There was no fighting against this. It needed to be done. I watched as the Cajuns created a distraction. Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Tefé ran swiftly on their athletic always bare feet, with their packs slung over the bare shoulders, their lean lovely bejeweled nude bodies rushed quietly unnoticed behind the police barricade and back home into Houma.

Words cannot express how I feel about this. I have never been so proud of my magnificent family as I am now. We will succeed, and save Houma and the Cajun community from destruction. I know it. We are heroes, everyone of us.

Next:
The Barefoot Black Orchid and Blue Devil: Together Again!
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/black-orchid-and-blue-devil-together.html

The Hunt For King Toad.

2006-05-11T20:00:00.000-07:00

I joined Tee-Tonti and five other Cajuns in the trackdown effort for King Toad this evening. The men's hunting dogs were quick to pick up the scent of the toad-like abominations. We chased the monsters into a clearing outside of town, where I could sense a trap. King Toad laughed and said he would never be taken prisoner again. The goblin had raided a still, and scattered large amounts of moonshine about the area, which was flammable and soon to bar our path. Taking a simple lit match, he managed to light the trees and foliage surrounding us, torching everything. We should not have left the truck unguarded, as it proved to be easy pickings of our enemies. The monsters rode off into Houma as the men were forced to give up the pursuit, drop their shotguns, and help me put out the fires. Again, King Toad has escaped. Only Woodrue could have helped him start those fires so easily. But where is the Floronic Man? These difficult questions are proving to be all the more dangerous as this deadly situation worsens for all of us.

Next:
Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Tefé: Back In Houma.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/abby-and-tef-back-in-houma.html

Constantine's Birthday Visit To Barefoot Tefé.

2006-05-10T21:00:00.000-07:00

Today was John Constantine's 53rd birthday. He took some time off from his mission in Glasgow, Scotland to visit Barefoot Tefé here in Louisiana. Barefoot Tefé was hold up in a diner in Metairie trying to catch a bus back to Houma to see Barefoot Zaina, because of the heavy downpour my powers have brought about. I'm using my powers over nature to bring down heavy rain to stop the fires raging in Houma. But my control of the realms beyond the Green are not as well established as they once were. The rains are too indirect to do any good. And if I push too hard, another ecological disaster such as the last terrible hurricane to damage New Orleans might take place. So I have decided to simply wait this out like everyone else, watching Tee-Tonti load up his shotguns for tomorrow's hunt for King Toad, while I was listening to old Schiller and Barefoot Marcel talk. Meanwhile in Metairie, Barefoot Tefé was watching the news on the diner's television. The previous evening, Booster Gold was responsible for a minor incident by assaulting a newspaper reporter at Superboy's second funeral in Metropolis, for which our family had no wish to attend. This report was interrupted by breaking news of yet another disaster in Star City, California. Doctor Light's struck again, despite the Villains United Society's crushing defeat in Metropolis. Soon after Green Arrow and Black Lightning's defeat and capture of the Mirror Master and the Barefoot Lady Killer Frost in a surprise attack, a terrible blow was struck. Doctor Light, Merlyn, and Deathstroke are still at large, having exacted terrible revenge upon Green Arrow and his partners earlier this morning. Star City's now suffering the same fiery nightmare as Houma. Doctor Light's no different than King Toad. They're both equally monstrous and must be stopped. But how? Before Barefoot Tefé could think on this on my behalf, she was approached by Constantine who asked her "Who's your daddy?" Barefoot Tefé said not him and to get lost. Constantine said she should be more grateful, as he was the one who kept Lex Luthor's White Kryptonite [a radioactive alien material that kills all forms of plant life upon contact] from entering into the Battle of Metropolis. Constantine claimed he saved the lives of the Barefoot Black Orchid and myself by doing this. For Constantine knew full well of the weakness imposed upon me by Doctor Light at the time, which would have made me vulnerable. Barefoot Tefé asked where the White K was now? Constantine said this was his little secret to keep. Barefoot Tefé said he should have used the rocks to kill the Floronic Man and Barefoot Poison Ivy. Constantine said Woodrue and Barefoot Ivy were being guarded by way too many other supervillains for him to try to pull a stunt like that. He said he wouldn't want to push his luck. Constantine offered to take Barefoot Tefé and Barefoot Zaina back to Scotland with him, insisting the dire situation in Houma was only going to get worse. Barefoot Tefé wanted nothing to do with a man who would keep such things from her, and joked darkly about not wanting to sleep on a bed in the U.K. that probably had White K under it. Constantine said the Kryptonite could not harm Barefoot Tefé's human form now. She didn't believe him. Constantine laughed, and he said he loved the fact he played surrogate father for such a trusting family. Barefoot Tefé asked him what he was doing in our country. Constantine said he claimed Alex Luthor's body in Gotham. He saw to it the young man had proper funeral arrangements. Barefoot Tefé asked him why he would do a stupid thing like that. Because no one else was going to bother, Constantine said grimly. Since Conner Kent could have two funerals, then Alex should at least have one, he insisted. Constantine favored the young Luthor, and didn't fault him for wanting to create the perfect Earth, only his way of going about it. Barefoot Tefé said Constantine was insane, to which he replied that we all are crazy, every single one of us, to some degree. Constantine started to say things to console Barefoot Tefé, for his empathy's still in effect. This started to soften Barefoot Tefé's feelings toward him. Barefoot Tefé said he'd better watch out, or she might start caring for him. Heaven forbid, Constantine said. He told her today was his 53rd birthday and he couldn't think of anyone he wanted to spend it with more than Barefoot Tefé. Constantine told Barefoot Tefé to take care, and she hugged him with a sigh to relieve her tension. Constantine left, and Barefoot Tefé came out to the swamp to tell me personally of this encounter. She claimed to have confused feelings about it. I told my barefoot daughter that if she wanted to accept Constantine into her life, then she was welcome to. No harm can come of this, that I can see. Barefoot Tefé thanked me with a friendly embrace. The storm's getting stronger, but it is not going to put out the fires in Houma. We have to count our blessings here, however. Barefoot Tefé's keeping me company here at the cabin for the rest of the day. I feel so much more at ease than I did before. Perhaps I too will someday come to accept Constantine into our family, in time.

Next:
The Hunt For King Toad.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/hunt-for-king-toad.html

Prison Tree Escape...

2006-05-09T11:00:00.000-07:00

King Toad Is Loose, How And WHY Did This Happen?

I found the Prison Tree mysteriously empty of all it's captives early this morning. Everyone at the Cajun camp is furious with me. Even Schiller. I believe this has something to do with Jason Woodrue being missing from his grave. Does the Floronic Man now exist in some new form that even I am not aware? Did he help King Toad and the other prisoners to escape? I am going to begin an extensive search of the area. I must track them all down and recapture the monsters, before it is too late! I will report more on this dreadful situation later...

Next:
Constantine's Birthday Visit To Barefoot Tefé.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/constantines-birthday-visit-to-tef.html

Houma In Flames!

2006-05-08T23:00:00.000-07:00

Never, In My Worst Nightmares...

re: Barefoot Tefé Holland wrote at 8:10 P.M. :

"Dad, half the town is burning! Mom and me were camping out back of the house when we heard this terrible loud noise. It shook the hell out of me. Mom said it was an explosion. She says she's heard a lot of them, all from being with you over the years. You guys are so old. There are buildings on fire. Power outage too, she says. Damn! Crap. We're going to go check it out. Mom wants you to stay out of this. We need to barefoot on out of here. I'll watch her back, don't worry. Barefoot Tefé."

re: Barefoot Tefé Holland wrote at 8:18 P.M. :

"A car just blew up right next to us! Mom grabbed me, and she shoved me down to the pavement. She body slammed me, and grabbed my head really hard. She wouldn't get off top of me. Damn, that hurt! Why do parents have to be so crazy and overprotective when you don't need it, and so damned neglectful when you actually do need help? She left me a little scuffed up from it, but I'm not bleeding too much. Mom's running. Got to have to go chase after her now. Why's she running so fast? The hell she's going? She's really pounding her toes of her always bare feet! Wow! Now she's really going! I need to hammer down my own barefoot toes to the street and catch up. Got my barefoot anklets and toe-rings off to run now, better stride fast so I don't lose her. Time to beat my dirty bare feet on this concrete! Get back to you whenever I can, Barefoot Tefé."

re: Barefoot Tefé Holland wrote at 8:55 P.M. :

"I lost track of Mom for a while. She ran inside of a burning building and pulled some little kids out. Firefighters grabbed us and handed us over to the police. Mom refused to leave until the ambulance came for the kids. We're in the back of a police car now. Hope we don't get arrested or some kind of bullshit. Mom was only trying to help. She's covered in soot. Coughing a whole lot. I'll try to clean her up. Barefoot Tefé."

re: Barefoot Tefé Holland wrote at 10:05 P.M. :

"It's all over the TV news! The fires are contained, but they won't stop burning. If this keeps up, the fires will spread again. They sedated Mom and she's asleep now. They're going to move us to another hospital, because this one is crowded and we're not dying or anything, just a little sick from the smoke and crap. Metairie General, I think they said we're going to. We're leaving Houma. Before Mom went to sleep, she said we're going to come back and try to save our home. So we are coming back. She wants me to be brave, but I'm so scared, Dad. I need my powers back. I just hope Nerk and Sissy Bob blew themselves up real good. There's nothing else on TV except for that stupid Booster Gold guy in Metropolis. He caught Mammoth. Big deal. Today was hotshot tabloid reporter Jack Ryder's birthday. Hooray for him. Superboy's getting another funeral? Crap! Well, that certainly sucks. Guess we went to Smallville for nothing. Black Adam disarmed a terrorist in Kandaq. Literally. That's funny. I'm tired as hell. Better hit the sack. Love you, Dad. I'll come out to see you soon. Barefoot Tefé."

Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Tefé are both safe and sound. That's all
I can think about at the moment. My beloved barefoot family is safe.

Next:
Prison Tree Escape.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/prison-tree-escape.html

Alex Luthor's Demise.

2006-05-07T22:00:00.000-07:00

The Horrific Fate Of Alex Luthor. Did He Deserve It?

John Constantine contacted me by phone tonight during my visit to STAR Labs in Metropolis. I was with Barefoot Suzy, whose medical condition is slowly beginning to improve, although her body temperature has lessened to the point that her eyes have yet to show their steam again. Over Constantine's phone call, he insisted that I hurry on to Gotham City and protect his one-time friend Alex Luthor from an assassination attempt that was about to occur. Realizing that I could use Constantine's talents now, I told him that this effort on my part would put him in my debt. If I could save the anomalous life of the corrupted but now harmless young divergent Luthor, then Constantine would have to help me in turn. I would use him to allow me public access into Houma without there being destructive repercussions upon the denizens of the swamps. Constantine grudgingly agreed, demanding that I hurry. Traveling through the Green, I arrived at Crime Alley in Gotham City. Growing myself from three spoiled heads of lettuce and an overripe melon, I rose up to full form. I stepped out of the dumpster. I hurried through the heavy downpour to the nearby alley, only to hear the Joker's maniacal laughter. I was too late. The young Luthor, now horribly disfigured, was killed by the Joker, with a gunshot to the head. Lex Luthor was there, having told his young divergent counterpart of his fatal mistakes that would cost him his life. Then the Joker ran off and disappeared into the rain as the older, surviving Luthor merely awaited my arrival without worry. Luthor said he wasn't expecting to see me again so soon. I asked him why he did this. "Because it needed to be done." he said, walking confidently away. Then I encountered Hush, who explained to me how and why all of this came to pass. I asked him why Gotham City is a haven for such madness and horrible violence. Hush stated that with my time travel experience, I should be more of an authority on the origins of the subject of Gotham's madness than he would. He merely exploits the insanity of others, he said. That is his power. I asked him how he knew of my experiences. He said he calls himself "Hush" because he always gained knowledge of things that men of common sense would never have any business of knowing, as he too walked away into the rain. I returned to Barefoot Suzy's hospital bedroom and found out that Luthor had sent me the gruesome picture above of his counterpart's demise. Constantine called and asked if I got there too late to save the young friend he was so fond of. I told him I would deal with the situation back home on my own and hung up on him as he started to scream drunkenly over the phone at me. Barefoot Suzy nervously tried to get out of bed, saying she was going with me, that she would be the one to help. She didn't even have the strength to stand. I gave her a fresh cup of water, and put her back to bed. Barefoot Suzy needs more time to heal. I promised her everything was going to get better back home. I said this as if I could somehow fix it all on my own. Let us all hope this is a promise I can keep...

Next:
Houma In Flames!
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/houma-in-flames.html

The Fate of The Justice League.

2006-05-06T23:00:00.000-07:00

Are The World's Greatest Heroes Gone Forever?

The rebuilding of Metropolis has begun, while Houma stands gripped in terror. Worse, it seems the Batman, Superman, the Barefoot Wonder Woman, and several other major superheroes have begun their retirement plans by abandoning their costumed identities, now at a time when I need their help the most. I wish them well, regardless. They have earned the rest. The rest of the world is quieting down, while the situation here in the bayou has become more terrible. Woodrue has disappeared from his grave. The police have not found Nerk and Sissy Bob. I can sense these problems will only grow worse. The Infinite Crisis is over, however. Metropolis, and the world, is saved. I can at least take some solace in that.

Next:
Alex Luthor's Demise.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/alex-luthors-demise.html

Brutal Slayings In Houma.

2006-05-05T22:00:00.000-07:00

Terror has struck yet again tonight. Nerk and Bob are being hunted by the Houma police, after a string of massacres of people in their own homes. Barefoot Abby, needless to say, is utterly outraged by this:

re: Barefoot Abigail Arcane-Cable-Holland wrote:

"Alec, it's them, they are back! Those two monsters have killed more people in town tonight. Eight break-ins, a dozen murders, and nothing stolen. It's got to be them!!!!! It's not safe for you to come over, there are cop cars and helicopters are everywhere. I repeat: Don't come. We can't let people see you, not with all this going on. But PLEASE try to do something! We can't let this happen. I don't want to lose this town! I don't want to have to run away. Be safe, and hunt those things down, if the police don't get them first. You know I'm counting on you. Barefoot Abby."

re: Barefoot Tefé Holland wrote:

"Dad. I finally got Mom to settle down. She's a total freaking wreck. Don't worry. We're safe. I called and Barefoot Zaina's safe at her place. We're all good, for now. Weed out the damn Prison Tree, get your big mossy green butt down here on these streets, and rip those nasty fuckers to pieces. Honestly, I would have stopped them by now. But I can't anymore. It's up to you. Do it, Dad. There are no excuses. You have to protect the town. Be here. Barefoot Tefé."

I almost did it. I almost went. But Schiller, Barefoot Marcel, and Tee-Tonti stopped me from going. They said my involvement now would raise a red flag against us. The bayou folk would be held accountable for haboring the new scapegoat for all these slayings---and I would take the blame. Barefoot Abby is right, not Barefoot Tefé-- I should not be seen. Not now. But I have to do something to stop this bloodshed of the townspeople and try to save innocent lives. But what? This is maddening. To save one population, will I have to doom the other by completely turning my back on them? Why can't I save both? There has to be something that I can do. But for the immortal life of me, I just don't know what the solution to all of this horror is.

Next:
The Fate of The Justice League.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/fate-of-justice-league.html

Facing The Uncertain Future That Lies Ahead...

2006-05-04T21:00:00.000-07:00

What Should I Do Now?

After burying Woodrue's remains early tonight, I sat on the porch of the cabin I gave to Jordan Schiller. I felt terrible about all the things that have been happening recently. Events that could have been avoided. I worry about my family Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Tefé, and the safety of the town of Houma. I worry about my partner Barefoot Suzy, who is now seriously wounded following the Battle of Metropolis. I worry about Barefoot Poison Ivy, Woodrue, King Toad, everything. Then I was visited by Tee-Tonti, a black Cajun man in his prime, whom I have helped to inspire the conscience of, simply by existing. It was Tee-Tonti who brought Schiller safely to me during the storms. He has earned my trust and respect. He wanted to talk about the safety of our community. He said the outside world is coming into our bayou, and that it is only a matter of time before they find us. I told him that for now we were far enough away from civilization's border to go unnoticed, but I could not say what tomorrow would bring. He said he wished things would settle down long enough that we could all work together to create something beautiful out of this place. But he said if our enemies find us here, there will be nowhere left to run. We will have to make a stand to defend our environment, our loved ones, and our homes. I detest King Toad, but I despise humanity's own destruction of our homes and people just as much. I just helped to end one war, so I absolutely hate the prospect of seeing another war started, right here at home! I promised Tee-Tonti that no one in the Cajun community would come to further harm. He said then it looks like I am still the Cajun Folk's strong Good Gumbo Man, after all. I certainly hope he is right, but this never to has to be proven so.

Next:
Brutal Slayings In Houma.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/brutal-slayings-in-houma.html

Infinite Chaos!

2006-05-03T17:00:00.000-07:00

Mayhem In Metropolis. Hell On Earth. And We Marched Right Into It.

The Barefoot Black Orchid and I were stationed on a base outside of Lewes, Delaware for much of the day. High noon came, and the villains redoubled their assault with fresh recruits in waiting shipped from Gotham, New Jersey. These included the Floronic Man and Barefoot Poison Ivy. It was only then that those of us remaining heroes not yet engaged in the conflict at last marched on nearby Metropolis to save the day. Barefoot Suzy remarked that I am one of the all-time-greatest superheroes. I replied if that is true, then the Swamp Thing couldn't ask for a better sidekick than the beautiful Barefoot Black Orchid. I took this picture above with my digital camera before putting my laptop safely away. Woodrue was in plain sight, now fighting alongside Gorilla Grodd against the Barefoot Wonder Woman, specifically. Barefoot Poison Ivy was also in close proximity, in combat with the Barefoot Black Canary. As I observed the Barefoot Black Orchid take flight on to engage Barefoot Poison Ivy, I found my own path to Woodrue was blocked--by the Killer Croc. The cannibalistic, monstrous, hated, reptilian/human hybrid mutant stated his hatred for me from my abandonment of him at a time when he needed my guidance. The Cajuns, his own people forced him from the swamp and back to the city life he's been attempting to live despite his further mutations ever since. I told Croc that I was manipulated by outside forces at that time, but if he cares anything for the present, he would best step aside. Of course, he attacked and I was forced to fight back. We were evenly matched and the fight took a long time, as I was not about to use the Green until meeting Woodrue in final battle face-to-face. The Barefoot Black Orchid meanwhile was facing Barefoot Poison Ivy. Barefoot Suzy found Barefoot Ivy with her back against a wall, bloody and delirious with battle fatigue. Barefoot Suzy tried to reason with Barefoot Ivy, but was attacked from behind by animated thorned vines grown from the cracks in the sidewalk. The thorns penetrated the Barefoot Black Orchid's bulletproof purple skin, doing terrible harm to Barefoot Suzy's powerful nude body. Barefoot Poison Ivy walked up to her wounded and helpless opponent. Laughing insanely, she stated now it was time she got her only real competition permanently out of the way. Horribly wounded and bleeding profusely, the Barefoot Black Orchid still had the strength to rise before the seemingly victorious Barefoot Poison Ivy. Barefoot Suzy heroicly took down the crazed botanical barefoot villainess with a single punch! Below us, beneath the shattered section of the street, the Batman confronted Alex Luthor, whose powers had faded. The Batman wanted to kill the young Luthor for everything he'd done. But the Barefoot Wonder Woman convinced the Dark Knight that such revenge was not worth it. Back home in Houma, Barefoot Tefé went to check on Barefoot Abby after her trying time with the police and reporters. Barefoot Abby was on the verge of another breakdown due to her worries about me, but Barefoot Tefé helped her through this, just as I knew she would. In space, the two Supermen and the Green Lantern Corps defeated Superboy-Prime, at the cost of the life of the Golden Age Superman. Much later in Metropolis, the battle died down enough that I could concentrate my efforts to take down Croc. When he fell to the battered pavement at my mossy bare feet, I walked over to Woodrue who lay beneath the unconscious Gorilla Grodd. Sensing my presence, Woodrue heaved the huge ape aside and he said that one way or another, things as we always knew them were going to end between us now. Several heroes and mercenaries took aim at Woodrue, as one of the last villains standing, they blasted him from all directions before my eyes. Woodrue's charred remains fell into my hands. I did not sense his escape into the Green. It is as if he wanted to die, here in this violent battle. Woodrue seemed to be dead, but my experiences with Arcane would say otherwise. I carried what was left of him on my back and went in search for the Barefoot Black Orchid and Barefoot Poison Ivy. The Barefoot Black Canary rushed up to me and stated the severity of both of the barefoot women's many wounds. She also said that Black Adam, Deathstroke, Doctor Light, Doctor Sivana, Hush, the Joker, the Barefoot Lady Killer Frost, the two Luthors, Mammoth, Merlyn, and the Mirror Master all managed to escape us. I assured her that we would deal with all of them in time. But I didn't have to remind her that we may all have to do so without the Batman, Superman, and the Barefoot Wonder Woman. I was allowed aboard the chopper that airlifted Barefoot Suzy and Barefoot Ivy for medical treatment to STAR Labs. Barefoot Suzy, now weak and wrapped in a blanket on a stretcher, told me she was going to be fine. I told her how very proud of her I am, as I managed to heal most of my brave young barefoot girlfriend's wounds. The rest will be well up to Barefoot Suzy herself. I'm being sent back home now.
I honestly don't know how I will face Barefoot Abby when I'll see her next. I suppose I'd best stay at Schiller's and try to sort this out when I reach Louisiana. I thought this would be the end of these severe problems, but it seems more like only the beginning of the end...

Next:
Facing The Uncertain Future That Lies Ahead...
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/facing-uncertain-future-that-lies.html

Preparing For War.

2006-05-02T21:00:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, The Waiting Is The Hardest Part...

Barefoot Abby awoke from a strange dream, this morning. She said it was about the heroes and their initial reactions to Conner Kent's death from a month ago. I told her some of those same heroes had gone back there to the wreckage of the divergent Alexander Luthor's multidimensional tower to seek out clues as to the whereabouts of the young Luthor and Superboy-Prime. Perhaps my barefoot wife's empathy powers are growing, sensing memories of one of the heroes. The Barefoot Wonder Girl, most likely. I had Barefoot Abby concentrate not on the past, but on the present. She had to try to sense what was currently being said in that distant location. She closed her eyes, then opened them and said she thought she heard a Green Lantern announce the Metropolis situation to the other heroes. I could sense what was next to occur. More and more villains will be marched into Metropolis, the heroes will be forced to intervene. This will make the task Barefoot Suzy and I must undertake all the more difficult...and all the more dangerous. But our thoughts were shattered by the sound of more helicopters passing overhead, still searching for King Toad's victims. Barefoot Suzy arrived early and told Barefoot Abby there are still more prison breakouts taking place, and she had better go home. Barefoot Abby asked if there was further news on the Battle of Metropolis yet. Barefoot Suzy said tomorrow is the day that Barefoot Poison Ivy and Woodrue will be on the attack, although Superman, the Barefoot Wonder Woman, and the others are soon to be part of the fighting as of later today since the Battle of Metropolis is already nearing the heart of the city, which is impossible to evacuate. I told Barefoot Suzy to go to Barefoot Tefé and make her aware that Barefoot Suzy and I will be leaving Louisiana for Delaware soon. I took Barefoot Abby back to her house. She said tomorrow she would have to talk to police and reporters about what happened to Barefoot Candy Taylor, last month. I told her she would do fine. And if she needed help, she could always count on Barefoot Tefé. Clearly, Barefoot Abby needed more sleep, so I urged her to go to bed. I told her I would come home safe from Metropolis, as would Barefoot Suzy. Before leaving, I recreated the garden in Barefoot Abby's backyard, making it even more extravagant than before. That should cheer Barefoot Abby up after her grueling ordeal with the press and the police tomorrow. Now I had to deal with King Toad before leaving. I went to the Prison Tree, uprooted it, and made it walk with me. King Toad and his sons were most surprised by this. I need Schiller and the Cajun Folk to keep an eye on King Toad during the time I'm to be fighting in Metropolis, just in case. Cajun elder Barefoot Marcel wanted the monsters dead. For now, I refused her demand. There is enough killing taking place in Metropolis, I'll not abide it in my swamp, unless it's absolutely necessary. Perhaps I may even find a way to stop Woodrue without lethal force. King Toad protested his imprisonment, as usual. It matters little at this point. Once I said good-bye to my friends and was alone, I was rejoined by Barefoot Suzy. She had wonderful news. Doomsday has already fallen to the two Supermen. Others would have fallen, if not for a pursuit of Superboy-Prime into deep space. We heard Barefoot Lady Blackhawk's plane come in for a landing at the nearby runway I made for her in the swamp. We rushed into the plane and joined other heroes on the flight now made to Delaware. For now we are to sit this out tonight and patiently wait. For tomorrow, we will end the war in Metropolis.
Soon, this will all be over...

Next:
Infinite Chaos!
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/infinite-chaos.html

Small Talk With The Atom.

2006-05-01T20:00:00.000-07:00

Ray Palmer, The Atom. A Hero Not To Be Overlooked...
Or Stepped On!

The Atom briefly returned today from his microscopic sojourn into the Micro-Cosmos. He arrived in St. Roch, a city near New Orleans, and then he came out to the bayou to talk with me. Barefoot Abby was also present for this unusual conversation, but she could not hear him clearly at his tiny size. Given my unique talents however, I could understand him perfectly. He came to provide me with invaluable information on how I could systematically defeat Jason Woodrue in battle without extending too much of my vast powers and therefore endangering the Green. He told me of how he'd stopped Woodrue from commencing the "Atom-Destruction of the Earth", and how vain Woodrue is, needing complete admiration or total fear to gain what he believes to be respect and power. I asked the Atom to accompany the Barefoot Black Orchid and myself to Metropolis, when the time is right. The Atom said he must return to Floria, the microscopic subkingdom that is located within the oceans of the Green, from which Woodrue originated. The Atom must protect the Barefoot Dryad Faerie Nymph named Barefoot Maya, former lover of Woodrue who is the Florian Barefoot May Queen of that realm, from Woodrue's insanely jealous persecution. The Atom said he cannot be two places at once, so he must leave the confrontation with Woodrue at the Battle of Metropolis to the rest of us. Before giving me a chance to even say good-bye, the Atom shrank down from our Earthly plane and back into the Microverse. I do not envy him, since my own perilous microscopic misadventures proved nearly catastrophic. Now I have what it takes to destroy the threat of the Floronic Man once and for all on this May Day. All that I await is the call to action.

Next:
Preparing For War.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/preparing-for-war.html

100th Posting On The Swamp Thing's Blog!

2006-04-30T23:00:00.000-07:00

First let me say it's my pleasure to announce this is the 100th post here on my weblog. I must profess how much of a wonderful challenge this new creation of mine has been. This is proving a worthwhile venture, even if I do tend to fall somewhat behind from time to time. My thanks to everyone who supports or praises all of my online efforts. I spent a refreshingly private weekend with Barefoot Abby. We talked a lot about the way of things, reaching an understanding about my current needs and commitments. It's so good to be able to communicate openly with my darling beautiful barefoot wife again. Barefoot Suzy stopped by a little while ago with my laptop and took this picture of us. She said Barefoot Tefé is back with Barefoot Zaina now. Barefoot Suzy got lonely and depressed, so she wanted to come out to see us. I thanked Barefoot Suzy for all the help she's ever provided for us. After nightfall, Barefoot Abby mentioned a bonfire ceremony she remembered from her childhood, that allowed a person to relieve one's pain by symbolically throwing their torments into the fires. I started a small fire, then I created a few wooden replicas and placed them on the marshy ground at her always bare feet. I handed the first, one of Anton Arcane as he looked as an old man, over to Barefoot Abby. I told her to look at it for a moment, then toss it into the fire. She did so. Then we did the same with all the other people and things that have haunted Barefoot Abby in the past. Next we performed the same ritual with Barefoot Suzy. Last I took my own turn. It's easier for us to talk without any emotional problems. Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Suzy couldn't help but interrupt one another in their renewed enthusiasm, even as the tonight's rainfall began to shower down heavily upon them, leaving their wet lovely nude bodies chilled and drenched, but also very excited and happy. The barefoot women just laughed and bathed, stroking their sleek nude skin and their fine flattened slicked-back wet hair behind their lean wet bare shoulders, as they kept on talking. Then I walked them through the pounding downpour into our lake for the most pleasurable fun of rainy night nude swimming and diving. If these are the last days we're destined to spend together, then let these be the precious memories of time well spent we'll carry on with. I don't know what's going to happen to any of us, but we've done our best together as we could possibly hope for. There's nothing more important or stronger than bonds of family and friends. What better way to spend my 100th installment than this? I feel most accomplished on this National Honesty Day. Thank you for reading Swamp Thing's Blog, my friends. There will be many more of my thoughts and experiences to come!

Next:
Small Talk With The Atom.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/small-talk-with-atom.html

Returning Home To Barefoot Abby.

2006-04-28T18:00:00.000-07:00

So much can happen in only a few minutes. After the Batman delivered us back to the swamp this evening, Barefoot Suzy and I rushed over to Barefoot Abby's house. When we arrived we found the porch lights on early, a sure sign that Barefoot Tefé was staying over at the house to look after her barefoot mother. We looked in the living room window to see Barefoot Abby sitting nude on the couch, watching television. She was upset and crying. Barefoot Tefé was pacing her own nude body around the room. She yelled at Barefoot Abby in frustration, saying she was overreacting, that Barefoot Suzy and I were not killed in the fighting or anything. Most aggitated, Barefoot Suzy repeatedly rang the doorbell, as I tried to calm her. Barefoot Tefé answered the door, but instead of greeting us, she screamed to Barefoot Abby that we'd made it back. My barefoot wife rushed out to us, Barefoot Abby threw herself upon me, shouting that she'd never been so scared in all her life. Barefoot Suzy was about to step off the porch and leave us, but Barefoot Tefé said, "Come here, you!" So my barefoot daughter gave Barefoot Suzy's nude purple body a most grateful and heart-felt embrace. I told Barefoot Abby that Woodrue was on the loose and I'd gone looking for him. Then, I went to retrieve Barefoot Suzy so that she would not make the grievous mistake of joining in the superheroes conflict of the supervillains deadly assault on Metropolis too hastily. Barefoot Abby expressed her concerns for the Barefoot Lady Bulleteer, whom she had directed to join the heroes in Metropolis. Barefoot Tefé told Barefoot Abby to stop worrying so much, as my barefoot daughter reviewed her own past conflicts and victories over Matango, Arcane, Woodrue, the Word, and Kudzu. Barefoot Tefé said she knew I was returning home to formulate and execute a plan to stop Doomsday, once and for all. While I thanked Barefoot Tefé for her faith in me, my major concerns are strictly about Woodrue and the danger he threatens upon all of us. I told Barefoot Abby as soon as Woodrue and Barefoot Poison Ivy leave Gotham and resurface in Metropolis, Barefoot Suzy and I would go to deal with them. Barefoot Abby says she doesn't want to think about it anymore. She wants me to take her out to our gazebo in the swamp and take a day or two off, and just concentrate on us.
She even wants me to leave the laptop here at the house. I shall report again after most of the weekend has passed, hopefully this sacred time will be shared peacefully. Barefoot Abby and I need this precious time to be well-spent together, so very desperately...

Next:
100th Posting On The Swamp Thing's Blog!
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/04/100th-posting-on-swamp-things-blog.html

Mortal Combat In Metropolis!

2006-04-27T21:00:00.000-07:00

Doomsday. The Monster To End All Monsters... And Heroes..

I arrived with the full military escort at the Gates of Metropolis today, to find the heroes standing side-by-side, preparing to face the inevitable threat of a Villains United Society with growing numbers. But no one could have foreseen the dangers that lie ahead, or the all-out warfare that was about to commence. I sought out the Barefoot Black Orchid and took her aside. I told her Woodrue is not yet to be found, nor is Barefoot Poison Ivy going to be in the first wave of the attack. I insisted Barefoot Suzy come with me. She refused, and tried to turn back to her place in the line, only to find it had already been filled by another arriving hero. Then came the inevitable. Dr. Psycho led the supervillains obscured beneath the shadow of the Metropolis bridge. The little madman introduced his new "best friend"-- the monstrous alien killing machine of a creature named Doomsday!
I could almost hear Alex Luthor's gloating of his assured victory in my mind. I grabbed Barefoot Suzy by her bare arms, demanding that she not put herself at such terrible risk. She became most angry with me, as her bare legs flew up, slamming her always bare feet into my great mossy vine-laden chest, her lithe purple nude body struggled, wanting me to let her go. I would not. Then I heard several military high-powered rifles clicking from behind. It was to be decided then, that if I interfered further in the Barefoot Black Orchid's business here, then I would automatically be presumed a villain by the soldiers manning the second line, it would seem. Determined now, I told the struggling Barefoot Suzy to look at Doomsday as he slowly approached the brave gauntlet of heroes in front of us--in front of the entire city.
I reminded her of how the world's population was affected by Superman's apparent loss of life when he fell in defeating Doomsday by his own grievous wounds. I told Barefoot Suzy I would suffer a thousandfold for her loss. I told the Barefoot Black Orchid that I love her, and that as the last of her kind, she must not take such an enormous risk as this, and certainly not this soon. I would not be able to protect her against so many different dangers at once. There were going to be many casualties as it is, in the coming conflict that was about to begin. The battle would move across the city, there was no avoiding that. The conflict would take hours, or days perhaps!
I insisted we not get involved, until it is absolutely necessary.
When the eventual deathwave comes, there in which Woodrue and Barefoot Poison Ivy take part, that is when we shall make our stand here. No sooner. Barefoot Suzy turned her nude purple body to me, determination in her steaming eyes, and said, "I'll be ready!"
We turned away from the dreadful scene as the battle commenced. The Barefoot Black Orchid's pheromones exuded from her sexy nude body and allowed her to persuade the soldiers to step aside and not to block our path out of the city. Nearby, a crowd fell into panic upon seeing Doomsday and attempted to flee. Innocent people were in danger, so Barefoot Suzy seized control of the entire group. She calmed every one of them down. They were doubtlessly placed under the delusion that she was the Barefoot Supergirl. Now, we moved to depart Superman's city and return to our own home, only to be confronted with the Batmobile. A side door opened in the sleek vehicle and the Batman's voice issued forth from the shadows within: "Get in. Now!" Barefoot Suzy stepped into the car, as did I. When the door closed, we were wrapped in complete darkness for a moment, as gyros compensated for my weight. Then there was light, and the Batman was seated in front of us behind the wheel. As the Batmobile sped toward Gotham, I asked him what our mission was. He replied, "To check on Barefoot Poison Ivy. You have tough decisions ahead." The Dark Knight's warning did not go unheeded. We arrived in Gotham after nightfall, and I learned about the Arkham jailbreak from Barefoot Suzy. How despite the seeming success of the heroes, it was merely a facade, for after their departure, the villains broke loose once more, now unopposed. For it seems those same villains have come to recruit Barefoot Poison Ivy. First, Killer Croc stepped out of the truck shouting to Barefoot Ivy. She was hesitant to join them at first, but came running when Barefoot Harley Quinn presented herself. Croc seized Barefoot Ivy when she got close and the truck sped off with them. I asked the Batman why he did nothing to stop this. Now Barefoot Ivy will be forced to side with her fellow villains. The Batman merely said he needed the villains all together to activate his contingency plan. "At the cost of how many lives?" Barefoot Suzy asked. But there was no reply. Now we are headed back to the Batcave, and will most likely be sent back to the homefront. Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Tefé will be worried sick about us. Barefoot Suzy and I will have a great deal of explaining to do, when we return home to Houma...

Next:
Returning Home To Barefoot Abby.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/04/returning-home-to-abby.html

Lex Luthor: A Man Of Deadly Vision.

2006-04-26T19:00:00.000-07:00

The Batman and I went to the old LexCorp Tower this morning.
The Batcopter landed on the roof, and the Dark Knight activated its security features. We entered the complex via the rooftop without incident. Soon we arrived at the general station area and found the main office. Luthor, facing the windows with his back turned to us, bid us welcome. The Batman told me to handle this one for him, he had other places to be. The Dark Knight swiftly departed, and I faced Luthor alone. The bald and distinguished-looking man turned, smiled, and asked what he could do for any creature who was less than human such as myself. I told him I needed to know what his alternate reality counterpart ultimately wanted to achieve. What's Alex Luthor's purpose? Luthor activated a hologram, a globe of light appeared in his hand. As the bright rays of the sun shined on him, I produced my digital camera and took this picture of him, as the globe burst and many countless holographic supervillains exploded violently out. Dispensing with this illusion, Luthor stated that his young counterpart wants nothing more than to alter the course of modern history, if not all of reality itself. I asked why? To create the perfect Earth, Luthor suggested. A world that neither wants nor needs a Superman. A world where a Luthor can live in peace. I told Luthor that peace is not for one of such all-abiding ambition. Luthor responded that I was very perceptive for a legendary monster of science gone awry. He said his battles with Superman are because he must triumph over what he cannot overcome. That is the only way any man can grow, to achieve. Challenging heroes with evil deeds is not achievement, I countered. Luthor felt no need to defend his morals, rather his motives, citing the world's civilizations have grown weaker in Superman's presence. He said if I am to understand Alex Luthor's motives, I must look beyond my own petty concerns. The young divergent Luthor will create a menace so terrible no Superman would ever be able to stop it in time. The rest of Earth's heroes and more importantly, Luthor stressed, ordinary people, would have to work together to stop it. Or see the way of things change for the worst, with unspeakable tragedy and loss. Either way, Superman's value will soon be gone forever, and he would look forward to it, were the cost to the world not so great. Sadly, I began to understand the full meaning of Luthor's speech as if it seemed to sum up the events of the Infinite Crisis in total. Luthor insisted that I should rethink my motivational standing in this chain of events, before I too should become a force to be reckoned with, rather than part of the solution. Luthor said our talk was interesting, but others were coming that he had no common interests with. He bid me good day, as the floor beneath him lowered, a false floor covering his escape route. This was no matter, I thought. I was more curious as to who I would soon be encountering. Four military soldiers entered the office, taking positions to either side of the door. No less than an old semi-retired Army General walked into Luthor's office. General Lane saluted me and stated that an insurmountable menace was approaching. My presence was required immediately on the outskirts of Metropolis along with a battalion of other heroes.
I asked if the Barefoot Black Orchid was accounted for. He said he wasn't briefed on her status, but if the Barefoot Black Orchid is not in the city yet, then she will be soon. Trusting the officer's sincerity, I allowed the soldiers to escort me from the building and to their aircraft. The General conducted his search of the office for any trace of Luthor, but I am certain the effort will not be of any use to him, if I have learned anything at all substantial about Luthor here today...

Next:
Mortal Combat In Metropolis!
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/04/mortal-combat-in-metropolis.html

The Batcave.

2006-04-25T22:00:00.000-07:00

I am presently situated in the Batcave tonight. Before coming here, the Batman dropped off the allied villains at their respective destinations. Employing a cloaking device that was modified from Brother Eye's technology, the Batplane entered Gotham unnoticed. Barefoot Poison Ivy was taken home to Robinson Park, there to await the Society's call to arms, if necessary. I cannot disclose the two secret locations to where Hush and the Joker were transported. For Barefoot Harley Quinn however, the Batman still had one remaining use. Barefoot Harley excused herself to go to the "Bat-Room." The Batman flipped a switch that allowed him to monitor. As expected, Barefoot Harley instead attempted to send a message to Alex Luthor via a sending set, hidden in her jester costume. The Batman jammed the signal, but was unable to trace where Barefoot Harley had sent the scrambled message, due to a bouncing frequency. The Batman rushed to the back of the plane and after a brief fight, he returned with Barefoot Harley safely subdued in shackles. Barefoot Harley was apparently quite pleased to be going home to kick back and watch her favorite cartoons. Her "home" as it turns out, was Arkham Asylum right below. The Batman landed his plane and turned Barefoot Harley over to the Arkham authorities. Then we were off again. We landed on a stretch of countryside that was quite well disguised with a holographic facade to cover the cloaked plane's descent into the earth. Within moments, the Batman and I were in the subterranean Batcave, which I have not seen since my time travels. This brings us to the present. The Batman's working facility is most remarkable. High-tech gadgets and equipment abound. The fabled mechanical dinosaur, the giant penny, a large Joker playing card, and many other such things were present, just as journalist Barefoot Vicki Vale had once described them long ago. The Batman offered a much-needed report that would help me in my search for Jason Woodrue. The Society is beginning to implement a series of breakouts across the nation. Belle Reve was only the start. Alcatraz, Arkham, Blackgate, Enclave M, the Slab, and several others are to be staged in a massive supervillain breakout. The Batman gave me a mission. Tomorrow, Lex Luthor is going to briefly visit his long-abandoned LexCorp tower. I am to meet with Luthor there in the Batman's place. The Batman believes an outsider such as myself might be able to turn Luthor to our side. Perhaps this strategy will bring about some results. I will report again tomorrow from Metropolis, Delaware with the latest of developments.

Next:
Lex Luthor: A Man Of Deadly Vision.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/04/lex-luthor-man-of-deadly-vision.html

The Batman's Rogues Gallery: Our Allies In This War?

2006-04-24T21:00:00.000-07:00

Barefoot Poison Ivy waited at the foot of the runway I have created for aerial-traveling visitors. She shouted repeatedly into the open air, "He'll be here!" And sure enough as she stated it, the Batman's plane came in for a perfect landing, flying into the area at incredible speed. The Batplane moved faster this time than even Barefoot Lady Blackhawk's jet, I should say. Once the Dark Knight emerged from his Batplane, I was treated to the greatest shock of many seasons.
The Batman was accompanied by the Joker, Barefoot Harley Quinn, and Hush! Why would he keep such company with his most hated enemies? "Desperate times and desperate measures.", the Batman said grimly. The Joker laughed wildly and remarked that keeping his enemies closest is what the Batman does best. The Batman told him to shut up. The Dark Knight said the only way to stop the Society is to deal directly with those vile enough to reject and oppose them. "Some respect..?", Barefoot Poison Ivy suggested to the downtrodden masked hero, as she leaned her green beautiful nude body against his dark flowing cape. Barefoot Ivy was overjoyed to be reunited with Barefoot Harley Quinn, whose smile was rather unnerving, but not nearly so much as the Joker's hideously disfigured grin. Hush, who'd been bested by both the Batman and the Joker recently merely said, "All right, we're all in it together. Now let's get this over with."
As I boarded the Batplane and became part of this dark unholy union, I began to think about Barefoot Abby. Am I not betraying my promise to her by doing this? No, I must deal with Woodrue to insure he never returns. This is the only way to do it. I tried to settle my mind as much as possible before take-off. But seated in-between such violent madmen as the Joker and Hush, peace of mind is nearly impossible. Gotham City, New Jersey-- Here I come, once more...

Next:
The Batcave.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/04/batcave.html

Dr. Light, Woodrue's Escape, The Fate Of Belle Reve...

2006-04-23T22:00:00.000-07:00

The Sinister Doctor Arthur Light.

Tonight, as I stood watch over Belle Reve Prison, a blinding light flashed overhead. Doctor Light appeared in the swamp and said the time has come for us to meet and do battle. I told him whatever his intentions, he will never break Jason Woodrue out of Belle Reve, nor be allowed to tamper with his mindwipe. "Never say never!", the sadistic supervillain replied threateningly, intent upon contemptably erasing the hard-fought good works of all heroes, myself included. Sensing he was brazenly present incarnate and not a hologram, I told him I would tear him apart first. Then, a band of shimmering light enveloped me. I dropped to my knees in excruciating pain. He said he knew all about my manifestation as an electromagnetic essence and that he could jam it. I tried altering my frequencies in the way an alien Green Lantern once showed me years ago. The effort did no good. "The bigger they are...", he laughed maniacally, as he stalked toward the prison. Within minutes, after he was out of sight, the prison emergency sirens blared loudly. Deadly lasers flashed outward from the penitentiary, and horrific screams of people monstrously slaughtered rang out. I was utterly outraged by this travesty, but still I could not move. Then the prison went completely dark. The glowing figure of Arthur Light was now accompanied by an all-too-familiar companion: Jason Woodrue! Right in front of me, Doctor Light told the Floronic Man that he'd been mindwiped twice over by his most hated enemies. That his encounters with me ultimately cost Woodrue his effectiveness and his sanity. That the Justice League permanently removed what little of Woodrue's dignity he had left. Then Doctor Light flashed an electrical charge at Woodrue, completely removing his mindwipe. I felt the Green shudder in fear. And still I could not move! Woodrue stared at me with a virulent hatred. He slashed my face with his monstrous talons on his clawed hands, tearing my features asunder. Screaming, he gashed at my chest with insane fury, the laptop went flying out, the digital camera taking the picture above of Light, who was impressed enough to prevent Woodrue for destroying my precious gift from Barefoot Abby. "No, let there be some record kept of his complete humiliation..." Light laughed as he guided Woodrue to a platform hidden in some brush nearby. The two monstrous madmen teleported away as I regained my mobility and connection to the Green. I could follow their trail now and slay them both, if need be. Light's voice seemed to appear out of nowhere and said, "A good criminal never leaves the scene of his crime intact." Without warning, underground explosions took place beneath the prison. So tremendous were the blasts that the coastline holding the facility on its marshy perch broke loose, dropping it completely into the gulf itself! Wasting no time, I abandoned my physical form and began my hasty and desperate rescue effort. All too late. Every one of the men and barefoot women working in the prison, the visitors, the inmates--all dead, save for a truck evacuating surviving key personel including prison administator Barefoot Amanda Waller and her helpless prisoner, Albert Rothstein (the former hero Atom-Smasher), who might have helped me save the doomed prison. The boundless corruptions and base stupidity of civilized authority are infuriating and relentless. Now alone, I had to restructure the bayou itself to account for this ecological disaster. Once my work was done, the trail of Woodrue and Light was cold. Never have I been so humiliated in a single defeat, not even by Arcane. This situation's more bleak and desperate than ever before.

Next:
The Batman's Rogues Gallery: Our Allies In This War?
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/04/batmans-rogues-gallery-our-allies-in.html

Earth Day Celebration.

2006-04-22T22:00:00.000-07:00

A Day For The Earth, Family, And Friends..

Today was Earth Day. Everyone took part in the festivites, even Barefoot Poison Ivy. After grooming her bright lush red hair, adorning it with pretty flower petals and leaves, Barefoot Ivy stretched her green beautiful nude body and said she was ready. I led Barefoot Ivy out of her solitude with new intent to officially induct her into the family. I started out the morning slowly, introducing her to Jordan Schiller first. With his typical old man's humor, Schiller stated his preference in today's meeting, for Barefoot Poison Ivy's much easier on the eyes than Frankenstein. Barefoot Ivy was already losing patience, but she became more interested in elderly Schiller, upon learning of his connection to Alec Holland's past and my present. Then came the uneasy encounter of Barefoot Poison Ivy with the other barefoot women in my life. Barefoot Abby, Barefoot Tefé, and Barefoot Suzy arrived, regarding Barefoot Ivy with their fully expected suspicions of her intents. I negotiated a truce, for Barefoot Ivy has never harmed any of them directly. Barefoot Tefé admitted her share of mistakes and insisted upon giving Barefoot Ivy the benefit of the doubt. Barefoot Abby and the Barefoot Black Orchid gave their assent. Barefoot Poison Ivy is now considered to be one of us, a part of the family, as is Jordan Schiller. Taking the frail Schiller into my arms, I gestured for all four of the beautiful healthy nude barefoot women to follow. The barefoot hike to Lake Pontchartrain, proved most acceptable to the family entourage, as not a complaint was heard from anyone save Schiller, who was suffering from minor back pain. When we arrived at the lake, I set Schiller down and Barefoot Suzy went to work in helping him. Barefoot Tefé spotted Barefoot Lady Blackhawk's plane. Barefoot Abby raced our barefoot daughter to the aircraft, beating Barefoot Tefé to it. Barefoot Abby's practice of running well on her always bare feet, in addition to bicycling, golfing, and swimming are keeping her in excellent shape. Still, Barefoot Tefé's now the better climber due to her youth. Barefoot Tefé ascended the plane and waved into it's closed cockpit, despite Barefoot Abby's protest of Barefoot Tefé's indiscretion. This was so amusing, even Barefoot Ivy laughed accordingly. Once Barefoot Abby had Barefoot Tefé taken aside, the airplane's hatch opened and we greeting our guests. Those in attendance: Barefoot Lady Blackhawk, the Barefoot Black Canary, the Barefoot Huntress, James and Barefoot Barbara Gordon, Alan Scott, Todd Rice-Scott, Hawkman, the Barefoot Hawkgirl, Barefoot Rose Psychic, the Barefoot Lady Bulleteer, the Barefoot Lady Starfire, Barefoot Raven, Firestorm, Cyborg, Beast Boy, the Barefoot Wonder Girl, the Barefoot Supergirl, the Barefoot Stargirl, the Barefoot Power Girl, the Barefoot Lady Gypsy, the Barefoot Lady Vixen, Barefoot Zatanna, Animal Man, Adam Strange, Arsenal, Barefoot Donna Troy, Barefoot Grace Choi, the Nightmaster, the Barefoot Enchantress, the Barefoot Lady Nightshade, Blue Devil, and Detective Chimp. Barefoot Poison Ivy seemed nervous to be around so many heroes. I told her she would have to get used to it, if she truly wants a neutral existence. Barefoot Abby asked Barefoot Barbara when her wedding to Dick Grayson would be, but the handicapped barefoot woman said it was called off. Barefoot Abby asked why, but Barefoot Barbara gave no answer, merely than she is working on it. Grills, friers, and coolers were put into place and food was prepared. Those not eating or conversing carried away levees out to nearby flood-zone areas and set out to work with them. Everyone had a plan on how to spend the day. Sometimes I forget how important scheduling is in the day-to-day existence of civilization. Barefoot Suzy asked Todd how his quest toward regaining his Obsidian powers was going. He replied he is already controlling his shadows, but is not yet ready to regain his shadow form nor is he prepared to wear his costume once more. Todd said it would take more time, but asked if once he's able to become Obsidian, would there be any room left for him in the Shadowpact. Todd liked the superteam's name. Barefoot Suzy told him making the Shadowpact was much more complicated than that. Their newest apprentice is undead! As Barefoot Abby conversed joyously with Adam Strange over grilled sandwiches, Barefoot Zatanna approached me and explained that all of the Secret Society of Super-Villains, except Woodrue, were now either on the loose or dead, those who lived were no longer under the influence of their second mindwipe. She told me to keep a close watch on Belle Reve as there would be no one else available to stop Woodrue. Barefoot Poison Ivy commented it was talk like this which made her want to be a villain in the first place. Barefoot Zatanna said nobody asked what she thought, and teleported away. Barefoot Ivy sighed. The Chimp told Barefoot Suzy that Blue Devil had been with several barefoot ladies since she's been gone and he's no longer going steady with Barefoot Lady Nightshade. The Chimp further suggested Barefoot Suzy might stand a chance of getting back together if she confronted Devil over his barefoot womanizing. Barefoot Suzy said she would rather see him in Hell, first. Chimp admitted for Blue Devil, that's an accurate judgment. Schiller asked Alan Scott how his magical power ring worked. Once it was explained that will power was the key, Schiller seemed more disappointed than impressed. Barefoot Tefé had a rousing talk with the Barefoot Wonder Girl and the Barefoot Stargirl during the barefoot girls' nude swim together. It was a good Earth Day celebration, but one to end all too soon. An alarm signaled from Barefoot Lady Blackhawk's plane. The Barefoot Black Canary told me it was time for everyone to leave, and she thanked me for being so considerate. Barefoot Abby hugged the Barefoot Lady Bulleteer and told her to be careful. Even the Barefoot Black Orchid boarded the plane before it shot off into the sky, leaving Schiller, Barefoot Ivy, my barefoot family and I to ponder over what this newest Crisis danger must be. Whatever it is, we know it will be dealt with.
This is Earth Day, after all.

Next:
Dr. Light, Woodrue's Escape, The Fate Of Belle Reve.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/04/dr-light-woodrues-escape-fate-of-belle.html

Friends With Frankenstein.

2006-04-21T19:00:00.000-07:00

I was walking to Jordan Schiller's cabin this afternoon with a cart of food and supplies for him when I encountered a strange sight. A tall, imposing figure was standing over the grave of Gregori Arcane--the Patchwork Man. I approached the giant, and he turned. This was the legendary Frankenstein Monster! He lowered his steam gun and said, "Hello, I'm here to pay respects to a fellow Grundyman before I go to face the Sheeda." I welcomed him, and asked him what he meant by "Grundyman?" There are things about the nature of Solomon Grundy and his kind even I was not aware of. Both the Frankenstein creation and the creature Gregori Arcane would later become were fueled with the blood of the species from which Solomon Grundy was derived. Like me, there were apparently others before him. We talked for quite a while before Schiller found us. Schiller said he'd met Frankenstein earlier in the day and they'd already become good friends. Quite hungry, the old man went for the cart I'd brought him, devouring the honey-spiced bread first, like he had no tomorrows left. He shared some of it with Frankenstein, though the large undead creature had little use for such food in his present state. The three of us talked about things that hadn't crossed my mind in many years, and new discoveries were made just listening to my strange companions. It was a most memorable occasion. Frankenstein said he'd tarried long enough, and said he had to go. Schiller told him to come back some time. He was short on friends and would gladly pass the time with Frankenstein and myself. Not one for good-byes, Frankenstein walked away. "Monster, indeed!" Schiller laughed.
I cannot help but think this meeting will stay with me for a very long time to come...

Next:
Earth Day Celebration.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/04/earth-day-celebration.html

Barefoot Poison Ivy's Progress..

2006-04-20T20:00:00.000-07:00

Lovely Barefoot Pamela Isley: There May Be Hope For Her Yet...

I accompanied Barefoot Poison Ivy on her nightly nude underwater swimming last evening, and took her into Bayou Lafourche. The shrimping boats had docked for the evening, as we could see when we surfaced. Barefoot Ivy asked what we were doing here in fishing waters. She wanted to reach her tiny island keep and get some rest.
I insisted we were here for a reason. I explained to Barefoot Ivy that there was a shrimp festival, last weekend. Our goal for the night was to attract as many new crawfish into the bayou as possible to help the fishermen replenish their supply and aid in their business. Barefoot Ivy pouted, insisting it was a waste our time and talents. She was only interested in serving to preserve the strength and wildlife of the Green. She argued that offshore drilling for oil will eventually destroy all of this in a few years, anyway. I asked that she be patiently cooperative, and follow me back down under the water. Grudgingly, she decided she had nothing else to do so she might as well follow my lead. We submerged and found an embankment of outlying algae. It was old, and festered with rancid refuse. If we could revive this natural resource, it would be an excellent feeding ground for the local shrimp population. I gestured to Barefoot Ivy to concentrate. As I dropped down to the floor to treat the salt bed, Barefoot Ivy maintained her graceful swimming motions above. Soon, the effects of her developing powers began to positively alternate the microscopic plant life as we so desired. Beadings of new algae burst from the crustings of the dead old. I adjusted the salt levels, the excess sprayed about me like a miniature winter snow globe. Barefoot Ivy swam her lovely green nude body swiftly to the surface again. I followed. Above, she asked what the point of this exercise was. This would have happened eventually, she said. I told her our actions concerning humanity and the environment must be deliberate. She must learn to be responsible for her actions if she ever wants to achieve the type of immunity from conflict I have obtained with the superhero community. Barefoot Ivy said her immunity to all natural toxins was more than enough for her.
I replied that she must look further than that, or else be trapped in the perpetual ignorance of her villainous reputation. She insisted her fellow villains never made such demands of her. I told her that clique was a wrongful one, because nothing she ever did amongst them was ever worthwhile. She may never be truly heroic, perhaps, though her past villainy can always be surpassed with all due selflessness.
I insisted Barefoot Ivy watch and observe the results of our good-intentioned efforts. We remained hidden in a glade nearby this morning, as the shrimp boats took to the waters.
Barefoot Ivy watched, still bored as the shimping proved bountiful. Her eyes widened as the routine continued as greater and greater amounts of unloading of nets took place. It was astoundingly profitable harvest. Shouts of the busy fishermen from accompanying shrimping boats attested to this fact. I put my hand on her shoulder and confirmed that she had done well. She said it didn't matter, they were just people and we could not control them in this way. I said by influencing destiny, we then will move mankind upon its proper course. This is the type of responsibility lesson Barefoot Poison Ivy must learn, if she is ever to confront the Batman righteously instead of wrongfully. Should she fail to ultimately learn this lesson, she will sadly remain nothing more than merely a barefoot villainess, and totally useless to the needs of the Green. Barefoot Tefé in her time of power came to understand these matters. Now it is Barefoot Ivy's turn to acquire this knowledge, extreme and tragic, in how late in the timing of it may be. Barefoot Ivy put her hands to her face, wiping away tears and stroking her hands back back over her slick wet red hair behind her sleek wide tall green bare forehead and ears. She had to admit it was incredible that she could have forgotten something so important. I told her it is remarkable she has recovered enough of herself to remember this. It is humanity that must serve the Green, it is merely our function to overseeing this spectacle will come to pass. Peace and prosperity is the way. Anything more or less is destructive. Barefoot Ivy held my hand and she thanked me for showing her this. I told her to go and get her daily rest. She smiled, stepped off the glade, she plunged her nude green body beneath the drink once more and she swam underwater on to her island retreat. Likewise, as I headed home I felt some good measure of relief. I believe now that Barefoot Poison Ivy will in time become as one with the Green, as she so desires it. The Batman will then someday find her a worthy and respected opponent. Or perhaps, she will change enough to become a benefit to everyone. On that day, the success of this time will truly shine though the Green, and the world!

Next:
Friends With Frankenstein.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/04/friends-with-frankenstein.html

Miami: A City Of Vampires?

2006-04-19T22:00:00.000-07:00

Barefoot Risa Del Toro.
A Barefoot Vampiress Who Knows No Bounds.

Vampires. How I detest these undead creatures of the night. Their propensity to adapt and grow as if they were living beings never ceases to astound me. The Rosewood Vampires, for example, in time adapted to water, creating a formidable menace that I was forced to confront directly on two horrifying occasions I would much rather forget. Now it is clear that rumors from a decade ago that sunlight-defying vampires exist in Miami Beach, Florida in fact basis of truth. The Barefoot Black Orchid has walked nude across the fine line of subterfuge to bring us her rare look at one such vampire: intriguingly dangerous Barefoot Risa Del Toro, and the question that must be asked on this Revolutionary Patriot's Day: Are undead vampires deserving of American liberties?

re: Barefoot Susan Linden-Thorne-Weems II wrote:

"Alec, as you know I'm in Miami seeking out to find the so-called daylight vampires and to distinguish them from their otherwise normal, and living, counterparts in the youth Goth movement. As you might suspect, the true vampires are as seemingly youthful as their impersonators. To break ground with Barefoot Risa Del Toro, the most influential real vampire in the city, I had to spend the last couple of days with the barefoot woman I was to reign-in and replace. Barefoot Carrie Stein was very agreeable and cooperative, given the proper pheromone-induced incentive. Taking her place was a cinch. Once I'd interalized my botanical evaporation, and copied enough of Barefoot Carrie's overall hue, nude body jewelry fashions, and personality traits, then I set out to meet Barefoot Risa. Her people kept me waiting until nearly dawn, when a torrential downpour started and I gave up on her coming, but there she was. Barefoot Risa arrived when this fake squad car with flashing lights drove up. She stepped right out and she danced nude seductively for me in the rain, wrapped herself in a no-crossing line. I'll have to admit, she put on a damn good show! I laughed. Maybe to stay in character, or perhaps legitimately. Who's to say, really? Anyway--the rain didn't affect her nude body at all, not any more than the sunlight at the nude beach we were at yesterday had. This vampire strain is immune to sunlight, running water, and just about everything else! Can you believe it? So I privately entertained Barefoot Risa for the rest of the morning, throwing in the occasional question where it seemed appropriate. Most of the time she wasn't listening, obviously.
By midday, there were police asking questions. Again, discretion seemed the way to go. When the cops were gone, I went as ballistic as Barefoot Carrie would have done. Barefoot Risa reacted accordingly, with all the expectedly dire vampirical threats. No fooling, Barefoot Risa is as totally scary as her reputation. I'm just relieved she didn't bite me! She would have found out who and what I really am and probably killed me, if she'd done that. But I still managed to fool her. Thrown out, I rushed back to Barefoot Carrie, still whyling the time away in the walk-in space I'd left her in. Putting her back on track, I'd updated Barefoot Carrie the very best I could. Then I told her, very sweetly to forget me. Writing myself back out of the story, so to speak, I just sat back and watched the rest play out. The transmitter I'd left in Barefoot Carrie's sweats told the story. She was definitely turning on Barefoot Risa, all right. And yes, Barefoot Risa may very well have been out last night with no alibi. The detectives could have an open and shut case. If this wasn't Barefoot Risa Del Toro. I'd go into more detail but this is all very sensitive. Better to leave this to my contacts to keep watch on this situation as it develops. Tell Barefoot Abby, Miami's off her moving options, as of now. If she'd enjoyed her stay in Los Angeles well enough with the Barefoot Lady Bulleteer, I'd suggest moving there, if not for your needs. Far be it from me to give you orders, but please consider harvesting the Prison Tree. That would give us all some peace of mind. I'm going to take the next couple of days off. I'll be joining you for Earth Day, take care. Sincerely yours, Barefoot Suzy."

No measure has went to waste here, as far I can see. Barefoot Suzy's report bears witness to the fact the vampire integration going underway in Miami will take its course regardless of any action on our part. Perhaps we may have to rethink our positions on our stances. There will be no harvest of the Prison Tree, just as there will be no purging of Miami's vampire minority. Still, I detest vampirism, much as I do King Toad. For reasons entirely and quietly of my own.

Next:
Barefoot Poison Ivy's Progress.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/04/poison-ivys-progress.html

The Latest News From Barefoot Abby.

2006-04-18T21:00:00.000-07:00

My Barefoot Wife. Always One To Count On In Times Of Need.

Barefoot Abby has more information on the Barefoot Lady Bulleteer and brings forth the latest revelation: the Infinite Crisis may be far from over.

re: Barefoot Abigail Arcane-Cable-Holland wrote:

"Hi, Alec! I've got some good news and some bad news. First, the good: Barefoot Alix is off the hook in the assault case. Barefoot Sally Sonic is still in her coma, she may not be revived for another six months! Fortunately, we have the Barefoot Lady Bulleteer in the clear. I think her credentials as a real professional barefoot superheroine are starting to kick in. I got her to quiet down about this whole Vigilante and "wanting to quit" thing, and convinced her to accept Barefoot Lady Oracle's offer to take her to Metropolis to check out what's happening there. That's the bad news, apparently, there's a hoarde of supervillains in mass there, for some strange reason. That puts Metropolis in a lot more danger than even Superman can handle alone. I told Barefoot Alix she's got to make a choice here, either volunteer for the big leagues [or what little the superheroes have left] or else retire completely and try to find a cure for her metallic condition. Barefoot Alix seemed to respond to the need to protect innocent lives, and having fought two monsters myself last month, I should know! The nanotech-preservative encasement she's been subjected to protects her mostly, and amplifies her athletic strength. I assured her if anyone should take the risk of an organized villain attack in Metropolis anytime soon, then she's qualified. Anyway, the Barefoot Lady Bulleteer says she's ready for anything now, and thanked me for the encouragement in helping her to be the best barefoot superheroine she can be. Hey, what good of a mentor would I be if I wasn't there for Barefoot Alix when she needs me. Now I know how good you are with providing a good influence for Barefoot Suzy. It's really nice. While Barefoot Alix signed off on the necessary legal papers her current field handlers require to turn her over to this mysterious "Barefoot Lady Oracle" person that Barefoot Lady Blackhawk enlisted the Barefoot Lady Bulleteer to join as a subsidary member of the so-called barefoot superheroine-driven team called the "Barefoot Birds of Prey", Barefoot Alix pointed out her apartment had a really nice pool and got me in there first, for some refreshing healthy swimming and wonderful nude sunbathing. Yes! Blessed be!

It was so good to have a nice nude swim today! Swimming really tends to take my mind off my concerns. Anyway, we took these pics of me a few hours ago. Hope you like them. We're with Barefoot Lady Blackhawk now, I'll be seeing you later tonight or tomorrow morning. Then the Barefoot Lady Bulleteer will be shot off to Metropolis to await further instructions from Barefoot Lady Oracle. Barefoot Alix isn't so nervous anymore, or nearly so scared now. She's so strong now, without all the self-doubt. I really do think she's going to be all right. We should send the Barefoot Black Orchid on along for this as well. Barefoot Alix and Barefoot Suzy should team-up. The Barefoot Lady Bulleteer and the Barefoot Black Orchid would make a fine team. And hey, we both have barefoot protégées now! It's so pleasing we can have something even more in common. I love you. I'll be with you soon, Barefoot Abby."

This situation is most unsettling. While I am happy to learn the Barefoot Lady Bulleteer is finding her way, and Barefoot Abby is most gratified by Barefoot Alix's improvement, an all-out war with the Villains United Society is most disconcerting. Should we allow the Barefoot Black Orchid to get into harm's way as well? Should I wage war into the conflict myself and completely disregard Constantine's warnings? And what of Barefoot Poison Ivy? Woodrue? King Toad? There is so much to consider. Time may be running out for all of us.

Next:
Miami: A City Of Vampires?
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/04/miami-city-of-vampires.html

Barefoot Abby Meets The Barefoot Lady Bulleteer!

2006-04-17T23:00:00.000-07:00

Barefoot Alix Harrower, who is now known as the barefoot superheroine called the Barefoot Lady Bulleteer, was one of the many learning-disabled children that Barefoot Abby had worked with in a mentoring program, several years ago. Barefoot Alix went on to live a much-valid mainstream life as an adult, thanks in due part to Barefoot Abby's exceptional encouragement and support. Not surprisingly, the recently-widowed Barefoot Alix worked in a similar mentoring profession as well as being a barefoot lady supermodel and a capable barefoot lady aquatic-athlete. However, shortly after her 27th birthday, her obsessive scientist husband Lance Harrower rushed into forbidden experiments to create superheroes out of himself and his beautiful barefoot wife. As would be the tragedy, Lance died, leaving his young barefoot wife seemingly cursed with this unwanted condition as the sad result. However, Barefoot Alix has made the most of her situation. She now calls herself the Barefoot Lady Bulleteer. She has begun the life of the barefoot superheroine her husband had wanted for her. However, events led to a confrontation between the Barefoot Lady Bulleteer and her late husband's seductive barefoot female stalker, the immortal Barefoot Sally Sonic, who similarly lured the lonely Barefoot Alix into a trap. Now being held for assault following the barefoot women's battle, Barefoot Alix has called upon Barefoot Abby as a character witness to prove her self-defense measures against her gravely wounded opponent were not intentional. Fortunately, Barefoot Abby has spent the weekend in California, following Barefoot Lady Jade's funeral and will gladly once more come to support her young barefoot lady friend. Barefoot Abby's uncertain about Barefoot Alix's mental state however, given her admission to seeing the foreboding apparition of deceased western hero Greg Saunders, the Vigilante. Ghost sightings are not uncommon these days as I could tell you, but Barefoot Abby's certain the Barefoot Lady Bulleteer will be cleared of all charges in a couple of days, despite the haunting. Let us hope Barefoot Alix's problems will begin to subside enough for Barefoot Abby to return home soon.

Next:
The Latest News From Barefoot Abby.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/04/latest-news-from-abby.html

The Resurrection of Barefoot Lady Jade: An Easter Miracle!

2006-04-16T21:00:00.000-07:00

The Ghost of Barefoot Lady Jade. Is She Dead or Alive?

Now it is confirmed. The spirit of Barefoot Jennie-Lynn Hayden-Scott, the barefoot superheroine named Barefoot Lady Jade, is not at rest. She is still active in this universe. The heroic barefoot woman's apparition appeared before me tonight. I bid this ghost of the highly-esteemed barefoot lady welcome to my domain. She spoke, seeking my counsel. Neither the man called Ion, nor her other loved ones could see her now, and she confessed her loneliness. She said only I am able to behold her in her present state. She does not believe herself to be dead. She desires, very strongly and determinedly, to return to the flesh, and to truly live again. This was an awe-inspiring moment, but one not long to last. I told Barefoot Lady Jade to have faith, that in time Ion would collect her mortal remains and facilitate her resurrection. She must essentially believe in this elemental ability that will one day arise in humanity. Barefoot Lady Jade said she must rejoin Ion. She will never forget what I have said, and she will hold on strongly to her faith. When she departed for the stars once more, I felt a small measure of peace. Someday, Barefoot Lady Jade will return to us again. All the power she needs is to retain her willingness, faith and hope.

Next:
Barefoot Abby Meets The Barefoot Lady Bulleteer!
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/04/abby-meets-bulleteer.html

Barefoot Lady Jade's Funeral Festival.

2006-04-15T22:00:00.000-07:00

Barefoot Lady Jade. A Beautiful Barefoot Female Soul Now Departed.

Barefoot Lady Jade's memorial was more a celebration of her life and past than a sad parting. The Justice Society and Outsiders went to great lengths to make this assembly one of great festivity. There was food, music, dancing, singing, and pleasant sporting to be seen. Barefoot Lady Jade's history and personal life was made known, bringing the spirits of the heroes and families who attended, up rather than down. Indeed, it seemed as if Barefoot Lady Jade herself willed everyone to make merry upon this occasion--and a good time was had by all. I shall never forget the positive impact Barefoot Jennie-Lynn Hayden-Scott has had on the superhero community. And on everyone in this world, in general. Whatever her present state, may she be forever blessed. So says the Earth Elemental.

Next:
The Resurrection of Barefoot Lady Jade: An Easter Miracle!
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/04/resurrection-of-jade-easter-miracle.html

Legends Live Forever: In Memory of Barefoot Lady Jade.

2006-04-14T20:00:00.000-07:00

Alan Scott and his son Todd Rice share their thoughts with
Barefoot Suzy on the passing of Barefoot Lady Jade.

Barefoot Suzy conducted her highly interesting interview with the men of the esteemed Golden Age Green Lantern family of superheroes today. The in-depth look into the heroic personalities of the two Scott family gentlemen and their thoughts of their seemingly lost and deceased kin, the much-beloved barefoot superheroine, Barefoot Lady Jade, brings many important topics to light.

re: Barefoot Susan Linden-Thorne-Weems II wrote:

"It brings me great pleasure to present you with this transcript exclusive of my interview with Alan Scott and Todd Rice-Scott, the heroes known as the Sentinel Green Lantern and Obsidian. The topic of our discussion was Barefoot Lady Jade, but a lot of other things came up. I hope you enjoy this bonus addition to your weblog."

---------------------------------

Barefoot Suzy: "Welcome, gentlemen."

Alan: "It's a genuine pleasure to attend this interview, young barefoot lady."

Todd: "It's great to meet you, Barefoot Black Orchid. You look amazing."

Barefoot Suzy: "Thank you. May we use real first names? Mine's Barefoot Suzy."

Alan: "In this information age, secrets aren't so important as the handling of known quantities. Let there be no secrets at this late date. First and foremost, my name is Alan."

Todd: "I'm keeping nothing important from nobody. Call me Todd."

Barefoot Suzy: "Let's start at the beginning. Alan?"

Alan: "The beginning? Ah, a swell time in my life. It takes me back.."

Barefoot Suzy: " How did you gain the Starheart?"

Alan: "I was an engineer on a train. There was this extraordinarily-crafted green lantern used for traffic detail. I was admiring it. We passed over a bridge a rival contractor, Dekker failed to bid. He had the bridge sabotaged so my train would fall into Slaughter Swamp, and his company would reap the benefits of having no further competition. I was unharmed, the sole survivor of the wreck. Soon after putting out the boiler fire and pulling the smashed bodies out of the muck, I learned of my magic lamp's powers and became the Green Lantern."

Barefoot Suzy: "Any complications at this earliest phase?"

Alan: "So glad you asked. Yes, the Starheart's old lamp was fueled by willpower. There was no room for motivational weakness. I had to be strong, but which way was I to go? Justice or vengeance? I fashioned my first power ring. When the job was finished, I realized revenge was not the way to go. So I became a superhero to fight for what is right. Had I chosen otherwise, I would not have become the man I am today."

Barefoot Suzy: "The Starheart altered your personality?"

Alan: "In a sense. I had to make up my mind who and what I wanted to be. In the moment I put on the ring, I devoted myself to becoming a hero. It could very well have gone the other way."

Barefoot Suzy: "Were the early years memorable for you?"

Alan: "Oh, yes. Doiby Dickles...the Justice Society...the All-Star Squadron... it all resonates within my mind. I can't help but wax nostalgic at times."

Barefoot Suzy: "Thoughts on how the time went by over the years?"

Alan: "We had no idea what lay ahead in store for us. It's all been well documented elsewhere, so I won't bore you with the ups and downs of the Justice Society over the years. It's been a stunning journey to reach the here and now."

Barefoot Suzy: "How were the Scott twins born?"

Alan: "I'd fallen in love with and married a remarkable young barefoot woman bearing an unusual curse. She had mulitple personalities. One of them, the Barefoot Lady Thorn, was dangerous. She gave up our children anonymously to protect them. I had no inkling they'd even existed at all, until the young Barefoot Lady Jade and Obsidian crashed a Justice Society meeting along with other members of the soon to be formed Infinity Inc.."

Barefoot Suzy: "That brings me to you, Todd. How did it begin for you?"

Todd: "I came from a broken home. Becoming Obsidian, my only escape. I was tracked down by Barefoot Lady Jade, the twin barefoot sister I never knew I had. Barefoot Jennie-Lynn had these crazy ideas I just couldn't argue with. Keeping her safe was my only priority. Not an easy task, seeing as how we were about to become teenage superheroes."

Barefoot Suzy: "How was the Infinity Inc. experience for you?"

Todd: "Strange and exciting. Sometimes I didn't fit in at all. Other times I was the most balanced member of the team. I had this ability to see into other peoples souls. Predict what they would eventually do. But it proved an impractical power, so I had to shut it down."

Barefoot Suzy: "Any regrets about this decision?"

Todd: "I literally didn't know what was going to happen next. My first and only serious barefoot girlfriend, Barefoot Marcie Cooper, who stayed with me turned out to be the Barefoot Harlequin, a murderous adherent to the Manhunter cult. It broke my heart into a million pieces. I turned my power to see the darkness in people's souls back on full time, and came to depend upon it. This turned out to be a huge mistake. I could see how Brainwave, a fellow Infinitor, would turn out to be evil because of the severe brain damage inflicted on him by his dying father. Barefoot Marcie was lost to me too, and I could have redeemed her, given half a chance. Seeing the excess baggage in everyone I met, I withdrew into myself. I spent my 20's a recluse, or as Obsidian. Growing up should have set me free, but with my powers, it only trapped me further. I wasted the time, pretending to be a person that I wasn't. I didn't care what people wanted to think. It cost me."

Barefoot Suzy: "Tell me about Barefoot Lady Jade, Barefoot Jennie-Lynn Hayden-Scott."

Todd: "Barefoot Lady Jade was--is-- the most exciting person you could ever meet. Her dynamic personality was the opposite of my brooding one. We turned out to be totally different. But we both wanted the same thing. Acceptance."

Barefoot Suzy: "Your thoughts on Barefoot Lady Jade, Alan?"

Alan: "My barefoot daughter is the most exceptional person who ever lived. There will never be another one like her."

Barefoot Suzy: "I am somewhat confused here. Is Barefoot Lady Jade dead or alive?"

Alan: "Barefoot Jennie-Lynn sacrificed herself to save my friend, Green Lantern Kyle Rayner, and he has resumed his Ion persona as a result."

Todd: "I never trusted Rayner, not for a moment. Watch him snap under the pressure within a year's time. Then we'll know if Barefoot Jennie-Lynn is really dead or not. Barefoot Lady Jade will be back, mark my words. She's not dead. If she had really died, I would have felt it."

Barefoot Suzy: "Todd, how did you become evil Obsidian?"

Todd: "I hit rock bottom. Ian Karkull, another master of darkness convinced me to give in. The darkness devoured my soul, and I wasn't me anymore."

Barefoot Suzy: "I can relate. I was possessed by a demon recently and turned evil for a while myself."

Todd: "Really? Which one?"

Barefoot Suzy: "Nebiros."

Todd: "Blue Devil's demon? That's terrible."

Barefoot Suzy: "I got better. How did you save your son, Alan?"

Alan: "The way I save anyone or do anything. By sheer willpower."

Barefoot Suzy: "How did you recover from this experience, Todd?"

Todd: "By the love and support of my family. I've had to start my life over from scratch. I was turned loose when that creep, DEO Director Bones decided he had bigger fish than me to fry. Guess the whole thing with Max Lord running Checkmate got to him. And we all know how that turned out. Anyway, I'm all better now, and I'm staying with a person who really cares. Of course, you might say that's another way I've changed."

Barefoot Suzy: "How so?"

[silence]

Barefoot Suzy: "Oh. I see... How do you feel about this, Alan?"

Alan: "Admittedly, it was a little hard for a member of my generation to swallow at first, but I've always been a reasonable man. My son makes me proud. Both of my kids do. I'm sure Barefoot Jennie-Lynn would also approve. She's the reason we go on, more than anything."

Barefoot Suzy: "Thank you, gentlemen. This has been most enlightening. If Barefoot Jade is coming back someday, what about Obsidian?"

Todd: "It's happening. It might take months, even a year, but I will be Obsidian the hero again. That should make the barefoot lady president of my national fan club, Barefoot Maxine Nelson of New Jersey, aka "Barefoot Lady Obie" very happy. I'm just taking this one step at a time. Even old Bonesy could never take away my powers, and I am going to redeem myself the way I should be. As a hero. Just like Barefoot Lady Jade, there will always be an Obsidian."

Barefoot Suzy: "Splendid news! I'm planning a festival on behalf of my mentor Swamp Thing on April 22nd, during the event of Earth Day. Will you attend?"

Alan: "Of course. I'll bring along as many of Barefoot Donna Troy's space allies for shore leave as I can. I'm sure my fellows will want to spend Earth Day on Planet Earth!" [laughs]

Todd: "And I'll be showing up too."

Barefoot Suzy: "Thanks again for the interview."

---------------------------------

"That's everything in a nutshell. The funeral's held tomorrow in California, and as the men discussed it, this will be more like a going-away party than a solemn final farewell to the deceased. We are all invited. Maybe we will see Barefoot Lady Jade alive again someday, who is to say? I hope you enjoyed this presentation. I know I did. Love, Barefoot Suzy."

This interview was inspiring to say the least. Barefoot Abby and I will travel with Barefoot Suzy to show our respects for Barefoot Lady Jade tomorrow.

Next:
Barefoot Lady Jade's Funeral Festival.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/04/jades-funeral-festival.html

The Barefoot Black Orchid: The Shadowpact's Decision.

2006-04-13T19:00:00.000-07:00

Today, Barefoot Suzy's two-month long wait to witness the results of the Shadowpact's evaluation of her qualifications of obtaining membership in their select group came to a close. During this time, she has formed relationships and bonds. The Barefoot Black Orchid has fallen in, and out, of love with Blue Devil. She has reached an unforseen understanding with Detective Chimp. She has learned invaluable lessons in her recent life. Now, with these experiences coming to a definitive close, and Barefoot Suzy shares her personal thoughts on this.

re: Barefoot Susan Linden-Thorne-Weems II wrote:

"Alec, I can't begin to express the strong feelings my experience with the Shadowpact today has evoked in me. The obligations, the bonding, the surprises, the humiliation, the fun, the danger, and the memories. All of it. I've changed so much, and I think I've become a better person for this. I'm so fortunate. But when it came down to it, I didn't have what it takes to join the Shadowpact. They told me I'm meant for different things. Perhaps a greater role still as yet unknown to me. I'm okay with this. Even Blue Devil finally breaking up with me wasn't as emotionally painful as I thought it would be. I'm not hurt. For now I understand why this needed to be done. I'm ready to move on with my life now. Shadowpact is going to join the Phantom Stranger, to prepare for all of the challenges that lie ahead. I don't envy my friends, but I'll miss them. Time to go my own way. Yes, I realize this now. I hope Blue Devil and Barefoot Nightshade are going to be happy together. I really do. Chimp was the last to leave, he wanted to make sure I was going to be all right. I never imagined how I could have had such a profound impact on him. When he left before closing the door, he smiled and said "Here's looking at you, barefoot kid." In his own funny hardboiled way, I've never known anyone as charming or sweet. I just hope he keeps his promise and takes much better care of himself. I wish the Shadowpact all the best as we go our separate ways. And yes, I am ready to move on. I intend to keep busy with worthwhile projects. Tomorrow is the Good Friday of the Christians. I'm going to interview the departed Barefoot Jennie-Lynn Hayden-Scott's surviving family, Alan Scott and Todd Rice-Scott, to honor of the memory of Barefoot Lady Jade. Even if she isn't truly dead as we know it. There still needs to be some sacred or uplifting ceremony to allow her family some peace of mind. I believe sharing their thoughts will bring this about. Anyway, this will give me something to do, before moving on to Belize to attend my nature spirit guardian duties. I can't thank you enough for the support you've shown through all of this. See you soon. You have my eternal thanks and blessings, love Barefoot Suzy."

How touching it is to see Barefoot Suzy make the most of her experience with the Shadowpact. Today was a time of resolutions, but it was also the beginning of something even greater for the beautiful Barefoot Black Orchid.

Next:
Legends Live Forever: In Memory of Barefoot Lady Jade.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/04/legends-live-forever-in-memory-of-jade.html

A Chimp On The Edge.

2006-04-12T05:00:00.000-07:00

The Barefoot Black Orchid's new pet, and her latest learning experience.

Barefoot Suzy has reached an understanding with Detective Chimp, and her own newly acquired pet chimpanzee as well.

re: Barefoot Susan Linden-Thorne-Weems II wrote:

"I've made some progress with Detective Chimp, though the situation was not without great difficulty. Last evening, when everyone was out, I enjoyed a little free time dancing with my new pet chimp, whom I've named Anne Zee. Chimp came in, he heard me refer to my pet by name, and said I was being cute. He stepped out onto the balcony after it got dark. It was odd he would come in by himself, so then I put Anne to bed in her cage, and checked up on Chimp instead.
I didn't find him outside, at first, but to my right I found him on the narrow catwalk of the building's ledge! He said he was going to jump, and not to stop him. I asked if I could join him. He didn't say anything so I crawled out onto the narrow ledge and sat there by his side. He said he'd lived far too long and there wasn't anything left for him. I told him he was wrong about that. Chimp couldn't see the point of going on. He'd outgrown the chimp ways, abused the human ways, and his interests were null and void. What use was he now? I thanked him for saving the world. He asked what I meant by that. I said without him, the Shadowpact would never have formed. The Spectre would still be without a host, and no one would have stopped Eclipso. In effect, he saved us all. I told him the world still needs him and it would dishonor everyone who has fallen, to take his own life in this way. I asked him to please reconsider. He took my hand and I led him back inside to safety. He said I was a "real barefoot doll" for "pulling him out of his rut." He also said if I could forgive him for the toothpaste incident, he would let me off the hook in my due I owed him for his investigation of Blue Devil and Barefoot Lady Nightshade's affair. It was a deal. Now that we were friends, we talked for a while about our dead-end relationships. I realized Blue Devil isn't the one for me after all. Chimp thinks Anne Zee is cute, but he wouldn't want to string her along. I told him he could have her as a gift, there would be no commitments, save taking care of her properly as a simple pet. Chimp accepted, but he said he knew Barefoot Bo Derek, a wealthy famous aging barefoot actress Chimp worked with in a "Tarzan" film remake from his acting days several years ago. Today, she's an animal rights activist and owns a private zoo that would make a perfect home for Anne. I enthusiastically agreed to this, but asked where would this leave Chimp? He said he's going cold turkey as of today. He expects to fall off the wagon a few times, but someday he'll be clean. The Shadowpact is his family now, and he needs to start looking after them. We toasted this, over drinks of nice cold bottled spring water. He drank water. Now we're getting somewhere. He said tomorrow the Shadowpact has an announcement for me. But he's going to hear it first tonight. He rushed out to the Oblivion Bar before I could ask him what it was. Doesn't matter. I believe the Shadowpact will finally accept me as their seventh regular member. I'm so excited! I really hope this will come to pass. Perhaps love isn't as important as finding your place in this world. I'm happy, and that's what counts. Sincerely yours, Barefoot Suzy."

Barefoot Suzy's reconciliation with the Chimp and finding a proper home for her pet is heartwarming. But is the Barefoot Black Orchid truly going to join the Shadowpact? I suppose we shall find out the truth of this matter soon enough.

Next:
The Barefoot Black Orchid: The Shadowpact's Decision.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/04/black-orchid-shadowpacts-decision.html

Detective Chimp's Depression.

2006-04-11T01:00:00.000-07:00

The Loneliest Chimp...

Tonight, Barefoot Suzy came to understand a great deal about what makes Detective Chimp the way he is.

re: Barefoot Susan Linden-Thorne-Weems II wrote:

"Alec, I have learned a lot about Detective Chimp tonight. His strange behavior and unusual personality have a lot to do with his unique position in life. Tonight, I bought a pet. A young adult female chimpanzee. She's healthy, well-bred, and well-trained. I thought this would help to pay off my debt. But no. Chimp just sat there in his pajamas, looking very sad. I showed him my beautiful pet girl chimp, told him he could woo and mate with her, if he wanted. He said I was joking. I told him no. He sighed, and explained all he wants is a talking lady chimp, as smart as he is. I asked him how that is possible, without access to the Grotto of Eternal Life? He said he'd sleep on it, to take my chimp and leave him alone. He turned out the light and went to bed. So sad. Isn't there any way we can help him? There has to be some way to make this right. It would be so nice to bring some happiness into the Chimp's life. Have a good night, Barefoot Suzy."

Perhaps it might be possible to conduct another search for the lost eternal life spring for the sake of Barefoot Suzy's pet. And to help the lonely Detective Chimp himself..

Next:
A Chimp On The Edge.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/04/chimp-on-edge.html

Romantic Intrigue In The Shadowpact.

2006-04-10T17:00:00.000-07:00

Blue Devil's Affair With Barefoot Lady Nightshade.
What Is The Barefoot Black Orchid To Do?

Barefoot Suzy e-mailed me today, with her increasingly growing concerns that Blue Devil may be falling in love with his fellow Shadowpact teammate, the Barefoot Lady Nightshade.

re: Barefoot Susan Linden-Thorne-Weems II wrote:

"Now I know it to be true, Alec... Dan Cassidy and Barefoot Eve Eden are having an affair. Normally, this kind of thing wouldn't concern me, but they've been gone all weekend. Against my better judgment, I had the Chimp look into it, since the nosy primate investigator was prying into my life again anyway. He asked Barefoot June Moone, the Barefoot Enchantress to help him catch up with them, since Barefoot Eve and Barefoot June have a telepathic bond. They did so late last night. Blue Devil and Barefoot Lady Nightshade were found at the Inferno Omega Nightscape, an exclusive hotspot for the supernatural elite. I'm told Barefoot Lady Nightshade's nude goth attire was cutting edge, as even her barefoot anklets and toe-rings had spikes on them! The Chimp got a couple of photos, before the Barefoot Enchantress had to get him out of there, since animals always end up on the menu, even familiars or odd variations like the Chimp. Make no mistake, Blue Devil and Barefoot Lady Nightshade looked mad enough to turn him over to management. Sometimes I wonder why I even associate with these people. I know we agreed to distance ourselves from emotional attachments, but this affair Daniel's having with Barefoot Eve seems pretty serious to me. The Chimp says I should be with somebody else. Get Daniel to notice me. I just don't feel like it. By the way, since I didn't call in any favors, the Chimp gave me his explosively steep bill to cover his heavy tabs. *Gasp!* What a shock! Now I wish I hadn't parted with my fortune. My problems are getting all the more complicated, and I don't know where to turn. Blue Devil is still mine. Someday we'll prove that. But then, true love always requires a certain madness to see it through, doesn't it? I'm holding on tight, and I'm never giving up here. I promise you, I will get the last word in on all of this. All my best, Barefoot Suzy."

The surprises never end when it comes to Barefoot Suzy and her dealings with the Shadowpact, it would seem.

Next:
Detective Chimp's Depression.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/04/detective-chimps-depression.html

A Night With Barefoot Poison Ivy.

2006-04-09T22:00:00.000-07:00

Barefoot Poison Ivy visited me again tonight. She waited until Barefoot Abby, Barefoot Suzy, and Barefoot Cassie returned to Barefoot Abby's house before appearing. Barefoot Ivy wanted to know when her training would begin. I told her to have patience, for that is the way of the Green. She told me to forget about that. Barefoot Ivy was fearful of Woodrue and wanted to be as far away from him as possible, when he is to be broken out of prison by his fellow villains.
I confessed some concern about this myself, having witnessed the demise of Barefoot Lady Star Sapphire at the Spectre's merciless hands, last Wednesday evening--and with her--Woodrue's last tether to humanity has expired. I told Barefoot Ivy that to achieve her goals in this life by the Green, she must be brave and selfless. She pondered over this for a moment and sat down calmly and unafraid. She swore not to leave until the danger presented itself. Sensing her ease, I complimented her on the ivy foliage in her swept-back lush red hair and the attractiveness of her green-skinned nude body, as is her traditional style. She said her practical nude appearance in the wild is essential, yet she has no intention of being seen by anyone here, save myself. She does well to cover her barefoot tracks, or to merge them with Barefoot Abby's own barefoot walking paths down to the water, often swimming and hiding underwater for Barefoot Ivy to keep a low profile. Hence the meaning of her clandestine late night appearances before me. She wanted to increase her powers exponentially, to use them against humankind in more effective ways to stop man's destruction of the Green. I explained to her the heavy burden this would carry, that she must be prepared. I offered her a tuber. She greedily snatched it, smiling insanely. Barefoot Ivy said she was waiting all her life for this. As she ate, she stood and danced barefoot in a round circle, splashing about in the shallow waters with her always bare feet, her hair and her large round bare breasts bouncing, as though awaiting something grand and magnificent. What she experienced was far different. The visions were mostly terrifying, filled with betrayals and pain. She dropped onto her nude backside into the shallow water, crying. I helped her up and told her the visions would become benevolent ones, given a more righteous path. She told me she would not give up, not on this. I gave her my approval and told her she was dismissed for the night. Barefoot Ivy plunged her beautiful green nude body down into the drink with a light splash, the scattered leaves thus removed from her now-submerged long hair underwater floated up and spread out elegantly across the surface, to mark her departure tonight. She swam swiftly underwater back on to her hidden dwelling. I thought this situation over some more, submerging myself to watch her graceful athletic nude underwater swimming. Barefoot Poison Ivy now understands her first important lesson. But she still has so much more to learn...

Next:
Romantic Intrigue In The Shadowpact.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/04/romantic-intrigue-in-shadowpact.html

Game On!

2006-04-08T20:00:00.000-07:00

At last, today there came another golf game. The five barefoot contestants were myself, Barefoot Abby, Barefoot Suzy, Barefoot Cassie Sandsmark, and Detective Chimp. We invited Barefoot Tefé to join in, but golf isn't her game. Barefoot Tefé stayed around just long enough to watch the Chimp make the opening shot, while she flirted around with Barefoot Cassie for a spell. Then Barefoot Tefé left us to spend the rest of her leisurely day with Barefoot Zaina.
The rest of us got our minds into the game. The Chimp decided to call the game "best two-out-of-three" giving each of us several chances to come back into the game. Barefoot Abby's game was highly interesting. While possessing neither super-strength nor extraordinary physical skills, her innovative style of playing carried her far into the game. And in addition, the fact Barefoot Abby is such a good sport and cheering everyone on so often, [even the Chimp] kept things pleasant, fresh and exciting. The Barefoot Black Orchid was wise to the Chimp's trickery. Barefoot Suzy did her level best to avoid distraction and made the finals. The Barefoot Wonder Girl also held up pretty well. Her grief over her loved one was subsiding just enough to allow Barefoot Cassie to concentrate and perform extremely well in the semi-finals. This game was dedicated to Conner Kent, after all. When Barefoot Cassie ended her game, Barefoot Abby gave her a hug and told her she did great, to which Barefoot Suzy added further compliments. In the finals, it was all down to the Swamp Thing, the Barefoot Orchid, and the Chimp. To our total surprise, the Chimp managed to outplay Barefoot Suzy fairly, and to that she asked him why he cheated in their previous match. "It was a week night. I was in a hurry." He remarked. Barefoot Suzy certainly didn't appreciate hearing this. Most irritating behavior from the Chimp. Still, he was playing fair today, and I faced him in the final match. Now the barefoot women were cheering me on, and I couldn't let them down. I had to win against the Chimp's impressive competition. Making one of his patented "Chimp-Shots", he came close to making the final hole. Alas, he did not. Now it was my final turn. One last chance to make this work. I put everything that Barefoot Abby taught me to good use. No observation went unnoticed. I took the club firmly, but not too tightly in my hands. Then I drove the ball carefully with the club. And in, it went. Yes. I won! As I tossed my golf club to the ground in victory, the lovely bare feet of three beautiful barefoot women I adored so today excitedly jumped and danced festively around it, as their beautiful feminine nude bodies embraced me, and I received a lot of hugging and praise. The Chimp began to bitterly pound his own club into the earth in some utter frustration. Such a sore loser the poor Chimp is.. But he'll live. Yes, today was even more fun than the previous game. For now I'm certain Conner Kent is smiling in his final reward at all of us.

Next:
A Night With Barefoot Poison Ivy.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/04/night-with-poison-ivy.html

A Hero's Funeral Honored In Smallville.

2006-04-07T17:00:00.000-07:00

I was in Smallville, Kansas today attending Superboy's funeral with Barefoot Abby, Barefoot Tefé, and Barefoot Suzy. Barefoot Lady Blackhawk dropped us off at the memorial garden, and jetted off to pick up more passengers to bring to Smallville. The barefoot women enjoyed the gentle feeling of cold marbled concrete underfoot beneath their typically always bare feet as we walked. Even I rather liked the feel of it myself, I must say. This occasion was quite a gathering. Heroes, officials, and civilians alike came to mourn the loss of the great young hero, Conner Kent. The tomb Superman constructed for his deceased partner is impressive. Barefoot Tefé excused herself from our company and promptly introduced herself to Barefoot Cassandra Sandsmark, explaining to the young and always barefoot superheroine who is of Barefoot Tefé's same advancing teen age, that she is my barefoot daughter and is sympathetic to her loss. Barefoot Tefé had long been an admirer of Superboy and the Barefoot Wonder Girl and wished to speak and bond with the other barefoot girl. We gave the two barefoot girls their opportunity to speak alone, as the rest of us walked on in a different direction. Several Smallville citizens looked upon me without fear, merely posing insanely wild theories about how Barefoot Suzy and I came to exist and taking pictures of us, as we walked calmly past police and the crowd. How strange all of this is. Barefoot Abby pointed out Superman, Barefoot Lois Lane-Kent, and the Martian Manhunter, who was asked by Barefoot Lois to find her husband. Later, "Clark Kent" arrived alone and claimed the Martian had set out on a mission. Barefoot Abby remarked how the obvious passing resemblance between Superman and his friend Clark Kent is uncanny, and it is not surprising to her how Superman and Kent were more than once mistaken by the media to be one and the same, all those years ago. If only I could tell her how such a constant aura-masking deception as conducted by the Kryptonian and sometimes aided by the Martian to conceal Superman's secret identity of the mild-mannered Kent persona publicly cannot deceive an entity such as myself upon seeing it. How else could Superboy be publicly known as Conner Kent, without giving anything away? Or Clark Kent's mundane wearing of eyeglasses as an everyday disguise, for that matter? Under lighter circumstances, I would find this most amusing. Today, however, was an occasion most saddening. Superman, Nightwing, Robin, Beast Boy, Barefoot Raven, Barefoot Donna Troy, Barefoot Cassie Sandsmark, and several others took turns speaking at the podium. Each displayed how unique an individual Conner Kent was in his brief, fast-lived young life. In truth, Barefoot Abby, Barefoot Tefé, and Barefoot Suzy were so sadly in tears at the end of it all. I remained melancholy as before. But as I looked down, I noticed there was Detective Chimp before my great mossy bare feet. The Chimp said we would discuss tomorrow's golf game at the wake. Barefoot Abby wondered who could have rattled the Chimp's chain so much. Barefoot Suzy then whistled innocently. Of course!

At the wake, the confident and beautiful Barefoot Wonder Woman greeted us and vouched for Barefoot Abby as a great help to her, and she asked if the Barefoot Wonder Girl could spend the weekend with us, since the Titans Tower was undergoing repairs and rebuilding? Barefoot Abby said she would be glad to have Barefoot Cassie stay at her house in Houma for a couple of days. Barefoot Tefé was most excited about this, for she has taken quite a shine to her newest of barefoot girlfriends, Barefoot Cassie. Barefoot Lady Blackhawk arrived to usher us to her jet. Detective Chimp rushed up to me and said, "Not so fast." He imposed that he was the best golf player of any species or kingdom. He said he could take me in any game. I told him that we would see about that, as he would have to beat the record Barefoot Suzy set first. He said he already did so and beat the Barefoot Black Orchid at golf sometime last week. Only because he'd cheated and distracted her, was Barefoot Suzy's defense. "Overripe bananas." the Chimp said. The Barefoot Orchid nearly got into a outrage over this, but the Barefoot Wonder Girl restrained her. Barefoot Cassie settled things, by saying Conner loved all kinds of sports, and a golf game in his memory would be a decent and good way to honor him. The Chimp agreed, and said he would meet us tomorrow. Yes indeed, I will show the Chimp which one of us is "cool." I think Conner Kent would approve and smile kindly upon this. May Superboy rest in peace, for he will always be remembered for his noble heart and heroic deeds.

Next:
Game On!
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/04/game-on.html

The Aftermath.

2006-04-06T23:00:00.000-07:00

The Batman arrived after dusk this evening. He'd previously sent me all relative information to my laptop before his arrival. Following the final battle today depicted in the picture above, the crashed and grounded Brother Eye satellite is now destroyed, the OMAC Project menace over, thanks in due part to a capable agent of Checkmate named Barefoot Sasha Bordeaux, a trusted associate of the Batman that he holds in very high regard. The Batman said that he wanted to clear up any differences he and I have ever had, before he went away. I asked him if he meant to retire? He said not substantially, and not anytime soon, but yes, he will in due time need to make preparations for an eventual leave of absence. He gestured to the other end of the glade. Into the clearing stepped Barefoot Poison Ivy, whom I already sensed was there, but made no move against, in sensing no threat or purpose. Barefoot Ivy reclined her lithe green beautiful nude body and her long red hair harmlessly against a tree. The Batman told me now that he had questioned her about the rumored jailbreak and the increasingly large gathering of villains in Metropolis that the Batman and Superman would deal with next upon his departure, he was leaving Barefoot Ivy in my capable hands. She will not interfere in my affairs and is to be properly trained in the ways of the Green. He will not hold any of Barefoot Ivy's future actions against me after she should take her leave of my domain.
For the Batman now trusts in my judgment. He believes my influence will make Barefoot Ivy complete, and that kind of sanity is something she will never attain locked away in Arkham Asylum. The Batman departed in his Batplane shortly thereafter. Barefoot Ivy said she would stay out of my way until called for. She was in the mood for a late night swim to her favorite stream island in the Gulf. Barefoot Ivy splashed down into the drink nearby, her beautiful nude body swam gracefully underwater until out of my sight. She'll return sometime soon, I'm sure of it. In the past, training Barefoot Poison Ivy would have seemed unlikely. Now the challenge seems almost reasonable, given the scale of recent events.

Next:
A Hero's Funeral Honored In Smallville.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/04/heros-funeral-honored-in-smallville.html

A Crisis Most Considerable, With Tragedy Abounding.

2006-04-05T23:00:00.000-07:00

Today Was A Day Of Heroes, Noble Sacrifices, And Loss Of Life...

I spent the night in my barefoot wife's bed, watching Barefoot Abby sleep peacefully. Then I reconsidered my position on King Toad. Perhaps retribution is the incorrect course. The prisoners in my tree will continue to be fed and attended. Nerk and Sissy Bob must be added to their confinement space, every opportunity for redemption will be offered, though complete rejection of this mercy is fully expected from the careless monsters. Doubtless, if they remain in the Prison Tree long enough, the Spectre will come for them. Like a predator to it's natural prey. Then this burden will become a non-issue. For a moment, my thoughts were again distracted, this time by an unusual pre-dawn light outside of Barefoot Abby's window.
I pulled opened the drapes and saw what I expected to see. The Batman had at last located Brother Eye in the heavens, and his allies' greatest battle against the OMACs was about to begin. The conflict was masked visually by the coming of dawn. I would not bear witness to it, only to hope my decision not to aid the Batman in his efforts was the right one. As I left Barefoot Abby's bedroom, she still slept peacefully, covered warmly with a blanket of leaves and grass. It has been a few months we have been together again, and a year before that. I did not tell Barefoot Abby of my appointment with the Shadowpact at Stonehenge. No need to worry her unnecessarily. As I returned to the swamp, I thought about the helicopters that passed over Houma last Thursday. They did not find the site of King Toad's gruesome rampage. But they came close. So I took the opportunity to dispose of all evidence of it, simply to protect the environment of the swamp from further intrusion. At the Prison Tree, King Toad reminded me of the harshness of the situation. He has nothing but contempt for me, calling my values a weakness. I hope the Spectre comes to wreak vengeance upon him, and soon. As I approached a meeting of the Cajun elders, discussing their options of moving away or sticking it out, I remembered my appearance at Stonehenge was due. So I went to England, but also retained my essence in the Louisiana bayou. A most complicated process, but one well within my ability. I assure you. At Stonehenge, Barefoot Suzy was in the air, guiding others toward the site. She landed at my side and graciously thanked me for coming. Constantine walked up, smoked his cigarette, and said, "The end is nigh this time, Chief. A sure sign of it is when the bloody Spectre is involved." Barefoot Suzy sighed and called Constantine the perpetual optimist. The Stranger alerted everyone to attention. He said we were the last hope for our world, Earth-1. He reminded everyone of Nabu's sacrifice, how it bound the Spectre to a new host. But Sabastian Faust insisted invoking the Spectre was a bad idea. Blue Devil and the Barefoot Enchantress berated him. As Barefoot Zatanna invoked the Spectre, my attention was diverted back home. I did my best to comfort the Cajuns, to regain their trust. Then, Barefoot Susannah De Le Beau, a young barefoot Cajun woman suddenly turned on me--her baby was missing, lost in the swamp and now, tragically long-dead. I vowed to find the infant's body and make amends. But then back at Stonehenge, the Spectre emerged violently from the undead corpse of his new host. The Spectre ignored the Stranger's attempts to communicate with him. He turned against the surprised Barefoot Deborah Camille Darnell, the Barefoot Lady Star Sapphire and destroyed her utterly in vengeance for her crimes, before departing Stonehenge. I left as well, much to Barefoot Suzy's fearful protest, pleading me not to go. But I had to leave. My full attention was needed back home. I soon found the child. As numbness overcame me, Nightwing and Superboy were joined by the Barefoot Wonder Girl in their attack on Alex Luthor's tower in the cold Arctic northlands. They were attacked by the young Luthor's OMACs as they began their effort to free the prisoners. Meanwhile, the Batman's team infiltrated Brother Eye and their own mission was underway. Back home, I was overcome with grief. I screamed in a fit of rage, tearing the laptop from it's concealment from my chest. Fortunately, I did not damage it, but the digital camera activated and doing it's job, took this picture above of me in my pain. Then I took the baby inside of me. As penance to myself for this dreaded failure, for my sin of arrogance, I absorbed the lost essence into myself. The result was horrifying at first. I welcomed it. At this time, another deserving of punishment was getting his due, for Alex Luthor was attacked by the heroes freed by the Titans. In the swamp, I could hear the young barefoot mother's scream echoing in her memory, as she did when she had been separated from the child. The anguish was unspeakable. Meanwhile, the Crisis battle at Luthor's tower continued. Black Adam slew the Psycho-Pirate. Superboy-Prime returned to Earth-1 and joined the battle. In reflex, the heroes not belonging to Earth-1 returned to their respective worlds. As Martian Manhunter fought Superboy-Prime alone and fell, Alex Luthor sought to acknowledge his companion's demand that Earth-1 and Earth-Prime be merged. A sudden relief came to me back home. Reliving the baby's tragic passing came to an end. He was in Heaven, and everything was as it should be for him. His final reward: an eternity of pure innocence and peace. As bliss and solace overcame me, the Batman confronted and shut down Brother Eye. As the disabled satellite plummeted to Earth, the selflessly brave Conner Kent began his death-duel with Superboy-Prime. The Batman and Green Lantern raced to the scene, as did the Barefoot Wonder Woman, along with Superman and his elder Earth-2 counterpart. All to attempt to save another good life from ending in tragedy. Back in the swamp, I gave the young barefoot mother what she needed to cope with the loss of her child, the essence of her offspring, distilled in a tuber. In the same moment, Luthor's tower was destroyed, the barefoot girl sat nude and began to eat the tuber and experienced the glory that was the life of her child. As Barefoot Susannah splashed her nude body in the nearby water, I told her to hold her breath, submerged with her, and took her down underwater for a refreshing much-needed bathing and exercising swim. I could feel the alternate Earths restored into one, as we emerged. This, combined with a sense of purity I have never felt before. It has changed me. As Conner Kent died victorious in the arms of his beloved Barefoot Cassandra Sandsmark, I held the wet nude young barefoot Cajun mother in my own, and she thanked me. As heroes mourned their fallen, I sat there in the swamp and thought of Barefoot Abby and her suffering last month. When she comes, I will comfort her too. Purity is a precious gift. We must do everything in our power to regain it, as is humanly possible.

Next:
The Aftermath.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/04/aftermath.html

Heroes United, And Confronting The Crisis Head On!

2006-04-04T22:00:00.000-07:00

The Barefoot Black Orchid received this image of Nightwing and Superboy today, from a spy satellite transmission at Titans Tower. The heroes should reach their destination by tomorrow morning. The Titans computer was then destroyed by the Brother Eye satellite, but the Barefoot Black Orchid escaped the explosion, then she braced her beautiful and powerful nude purple body and subsequently prevented a ceiling collapse. While Barefoot Suzy continued her work to seek out futile alternatives to restore communications capability for the Titans, she was received by the now-repowered Teen Titan, the Barefoot Wonder Girl. Barefoot Cassie Sandsmark was most considerate of Barefoot Suzy's actions, and the Barefoot Wonder Girl opted to bravely go after her fellow heroes, as was her place. Barefoot Suzy was informed by Barefoot Cassie that the Shadowpact was awaiting the Barefoot Orchid's return aboard her boat.
The Barefoot Black Orchid, as it turns out, would be needed for an entirely different purpose relating to the Infinite Crisis. After a lengthy and meaningful conversation about Conner Kent, to which Barefoot Cassie stated Barefoot Suzy's unexpected help for the young couple's relationship was invaluable, it was now time for Barefoot Suzy to at last leave Titans Tower. Finishing her invigorated flight back to her ship, the Shadowpact presented the Barefoot Black Orchid with the latest news: The Phantom Stranger and Barefoot Zatanna are preparing to invoke the Spectre at Stonehenge, and they will do so tomorrow. The Shadowpact is gathering as many mystically-adept heroes as possible, and the Barefoot Black Orchid must attend the large assembly. Barefoot Suzy fears for herself, and for the great many heroes that will be involved. She asked me to be present at Stonehenge, when it is time to manifest the Spectre, due to this dire dread. How could I refuse? In these trying times, we heroes must stick together. I will be there at Stonehenge tomorrow. Tonight, I will spend with Barefoot Abby at her house, and let us hope this great gathering of heroes that I will attend shall bring about a positive and final resolution.

Next:
A Crisis Most Considerable, With Tragedy Abounding.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/04/crisis-most-considerable-with-tragedy.html

The Titans Tower.

2006-04-03T23:00:00.000-07:00

The Barefoot Black Orchid struggled with a monumental decision tonight, whether or not to join Nightwing and Superboy on their mission to attempt to end the Infinite Crisis. By late evening, Barefoot Suzy left her boat and laptop behind. She managed to enter Titans Tower undetected, for its security systems were sidetracked, to carry out the Titans mission first and foremost. As Barefoot Suzy lurked out of sight, the two heroes made final preparations for their journey. As night fell, communications in the tower broke down, due to the storms wrought by the endless array of parallel Earths being destroyed in the night sky for all to see. Superboy carried a crystal given to him by Lex Luthor, as a means of allowing the Titans to trackdown Luthor's formidable young divergent counterpart. Barefoot Suzy almost revealed herself, when Nightwing mentioned to Superboy the communications failure a second time. Almost, but she did not. Barefoot Suzy overheard them make mention of the Titans reservists who fell in battle with Superboy-Prime, and how, if at all, they will be remembered. Superboy remarked how awesome the reality storm was becoming. Nightwing disagreed, expressing his worry. Now prepared, the heroes embarked upon the first leg of their dangerous crusade, without ever knowing the Barefoot Black Orchid was there, nor her forlorn desire to help them. Barefoot Suzy remains in the tower, at the current time. She sent me this report utilizing a spare laptop left behind by Barefoot Cassandra Sandsmark, the Barefoot Wonder Girl. The Barefoot Black Orchid means to repair the damages done to the tower's communications. It may make the difference that will mean life or death for these brave and bold young Titans.

Next:
Heroes United, And Confronting The Crisis Head On!
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/04/heroes-united-and-confronting-crisis.html

Conner Kent: A Hero of Our Time.

2006-04-02T23:00:00.000-07:00

Barefoot Suzy finally received word back today from an online acquaintance, a young superhero with problems similar to her own-- Conner Kent, aka Superboy, who has had the opportunity to heal, not only his physical wounds, but his mental scars as well.

re: Conner Kent wrote:

"Dear Barefoot Black Orchid. Thanks for dropping me a line. It's good to know there's somebody else out there who's had to begin life as a clone, and cares enough to help a guy like me deal. Getting it all out in the open has really scored points with my barefoot girlfriend, Barefoot Cassie Sandsmark, aka the Barefoot Wonder Girl. You've been at this longer than I have and your essential advice really hit home for me. Since a compliment never dies, let me say you are a real upstanding barefoot lady for helping me out. I got to connect with Barefoot Cassie in a way I didn't think was going to be possible. Sometimes the good guy doesn't get the barefoot girl, no matter how much he deserves the happy ending. But hey, miracles happen, if you make them happen. So I worked up the nerve to ask Barefoot Cassie to spend the night with me, and yeah, we slept together! We even got the Kent family pool finished this morning, and you know blonde Barefoot Cassie's awesome, all wet with her bronze-tanned nude bod.
"Can I swim nude in just my bracelets in the pool today?" She asked.
"Of course you can. Dive on in, barefoot honey!" They said. She did.

She went nude all day. Working. Swimming. Eating. And we loved it.
Paradise Island's all gone, but not Barefoot Cassie's perfect nude tan.

She's a gorgeous Barefoot DemiGoddess of barefoot blonde beauty!

"OK, enough Olympian Barefoot DemiGoddess nude cheesecake, LOL. Barefoot Cassie loves you too. Excuse the lame-o internet humor. Anyway, everything's going fantastic for us now and I guess I owe it all to you. Telling me about how you overcame your own self-doubts boiled it down for me. You can't move forward with doubts and fears holding you back. They are just a reflex, part of your common sense. But you can always fight them off, with the right encouragement. Right on, I'm not ignoring the similarities here either. Lex Luthor is in both our stories, our pasts. Lex is a real pain in the ass, isn't he? Speaking of the voice of doom, I'm back at the tower with Nightwing. He wants to go at it again, hunting down the bad guy who's got Martian Manhunter, Barefoot Power Girl, Barefoot Lady Nightshade, Breach, Ray, and whoever else he's using to open up these parallel dimensions and bring those other Earths here. And mark this: I won't forget that other Superboy. I can't match him strength for strength, but there are other ways of dealing with him, too. I promise you, I won't be afraid. Whatever the problem, Nightwing and I will handle it. We'll win the day. No matter what. And if I don't make it back, please, let Barefoot Cassie know how much it was all worth it, okay? After all, she's immortal, and I'm not. Lots of luck, hope to meet you in person, someday. Thanks for giving me my personality back. In spades. Well done. All the best, love Conner Kent, Superboy."

Barefoot Suzy was very taken with this response. She now considers this young man and his young barefoot girlfriend to be close friends. She is concerned Nightwing and Superboy are walking into a trap, but as she has no Titans security clearance, her intrusion would be an impediment to Nightwing's overall plans. I feel it best to wait and see on this. After all, this is an issue of faith. In this instance, there is nothing more important in bringing an end to the crisis and all such horrors. With hope and the inner strength that can only come from true love, on this Great Lover's Day.

Next:
The Titans Tower.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/04/titans-tower.html

April Fools Day, And The Roaming Gnome.

2006-04-01T23:00:00.000-08:00

This Little Fellow Had Better Go Back To His Gardening...

I waited around all day for the golf game today, but no one showed up at the deserted plantation where we played our last game. When I got back to the swamp, I found a note from Barefoot Abby saying the game had been called off until next weekend. Her message did not explain why. As I was about to produce my laptop and contact Barefoot Suzy, a strange little man appeared in the bayou. He called himself the Roaming Gnome. He said, my swamp would make a great tourist attraction. I assured the unusual gentleman it would not.
He persisted that it would, and he began peddling something called "Travelocity." Determined to end this distraction quickly, I escorted the odd little man to the foreboding Prison Tree and showed him the menacing King Toad. I asked him if my swamp seemed so friendly now. He said, "Well. This certainly puts the kibosh on tourism in these parts." I could not agree more. After seeing the Gnome back to his roaming, I observed the following e-mail from Barefoot Suzy, much to my surprise:

re: Barefoot Susan Linden-Thorne-Weems II wrote:

"Alec, you will not believe what happened to me today. I was minding my own business in the Shadowpact's temporary loft this morning, when I walked into the hallway. Suddenly, several gallons of soaking wet toothpaste [that's right, I said toothpaste!] was dumped onto my head by Detective Chimp from an overhang of buckets! He laughed and started taking pictures. Suffice to say, I was not amused."

"Blue Devil walked in and saw this. He very quietly told me there was a very good reason "Blue Devil Toothpaste" marketed in his name had been discontinued years ago. Then, not so quietly, he said he was going to separate Chimp's head from his body! The chase was on. Nightmaster was in the den reading his newspaper. Not for long. The Chimp tore clean through the paper and Blue Devil hurtled over the chair after him. Nightmaster was not pleased. The Chimp collided with the refrigerator in the kitchen and knocked himself out. This distracted the Barefoot Enchantress, who was cleaning up Chimp's banana peels with her broom. She slipped on one, hit the kitchen table, and got knocked out too. If that weren't bad enough, Devil insisted we "hit the showers" before the defective toothpaste that was dumped on me hardened. While Nightmaster looked in on the two who were knocked out in the kitchen, Devil scrubbed me down as best he could in the bathroom shower. An exhaustingly long time later, he said he was the only blue person in the bathroom. What a relief. But suddenly, we heard a noise. The toilet backed up, covering the floor with raw sewage. The sink burst its facets and did the same to the walls. The tub, worst of all, made an even worse mess of us! Devil, angry beyond imagining, slammed his fist down the drain, exploding it, before I could stop him. Now the sewage was everywhere. The toothpaste made it stick to us like glue. It was horrible. At this point, Ragman came back after a fruitless search for Barefoot Lady Nightshade. He saw Nightmaster with his shredded newspaper, Barefoot Enchantress on the kitchen floor with Detective Chimp seemingly embraced in her arms, and lastly Devil and myself. Ragman held his composure pretty well, until Devil dropped his towel. I don't blame Ragman for excusing himself from our company at that point. If there's one thing I am going to do--it is to remove April Fool's Day from the calendar, from all historical records, everything. Even mindwipe it from Chimp's memory myself, if I have to. Today was not my day. Sorry, but no golf game this weekend. Hope you understand. Love, Barefoot Suzy."

As if all of this were not enough to occupy my mind, I turned from my e-mail browsing to find the Gnome still in the swamp.

"Hello, again. Could you be a good fellow and help me out? I seem to be stuck in the mud." He said.

I should have known this was going to be one of those days...

Next:
Conner Kent: A Hero of Our Time.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/04/conner-kent-hero-of-our-time.html

Quite An Extraordinary Month This Has Been...

2006-03-31T22:00:00.000-08:00

Barefoot Abby and I spent some time tonight, reflecting on everything that has happened this month. I have been faced with monumental decisions and missions that have taken me to places even I never dreamed of. Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Suzy were tested physically and mentally, and have proven themselves some of the bravest and most capable barefoot women currently existing, in my opinion. Barefoot Tefé is improving her teenage adult life in leaps and bounds in her struggle to find herself, and struggling, perhaps too late--to graduate and make us proud. New friends such as the adventurous Barefoot Lady Blackhawk, the exoticly alluring Mermaid Lori Lemaris, and members of the Shadowpact are coming to light. Things have never been more interesting. And as always, the nightmares still abound. The myriad perils of the Infinite Crisis, Arcane, Sargon, Nebiros, Woodrue, King Toad, are always lurking in the back of our minds. But hope still reigns supreme, and love conquers all. Let this be a testament to our sagas and quests for happiness, freedom, and peace on this Modern Philosopher's Day.

Next:
April Fools Day, And The Roaming Gnome.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/04/april-fools-day-and-roaming-gnome.html

The Barefoot Black Orchid and Blue Devil. Will True Love Prevail?

2006-03-30T23:00:00.000-08:00

Barefoot Suzy sent me an e-mail expressing her love and continuing devotion for Dan Cassidy, the Blue Devil.

re: Barefoot Susan Linden-Thorne-Weems II wrote:

"I love Daniel. I love him so much, Blue Devil take me! He's just so grateful I'm safe and no longer under Nebiros' influence, but it's clear he is more concerned about his feelings for Barefoot Eve Eden and her abduction. I don't feel anger or jealousness about this, confusion mostly. I want to propose marriage to him, but he's so afraid of commitment and ceremony. I suppose I am scared too, just a little. So I need to ask you this. May we use one of your tubers like you and Barefoot Abby do? Just once? This would give us the kind of closeness we so desperately need to have. Please just give it some thought. It would mean so much to me, and to us. Love and blessings always, Barefoot Suzy."

I will give this matter consideration. Barefoot Suzy's love and happiness is all that matters to me, for that is what I feel is most important here.

Next:
Quite An Extraordinary Month This Has Been...
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/quite-extraordinary-month-this-has.html

Our Demonic Armageddon Battle With The Barefoot Dark Hellchid.

2006-03-29T20:00:00.000-08:00

The Shadowpact and I fought an extremely violent battle with the Barefoot Dark Hellchid today. We were in Bucharest, Romania--and the conflict took place under the foreboding omen of a solar eclipse. [the sign of the Shadowpact's nemesis, Eclipso] The menacing creature who was once my beloved young barefoot protégée, Barefoot Suzy, the Barefoot Black Orchid was now the demon-possessed fiendish barefoot archvillainess known to us as the Barefoot Dark Hellchid. After the eclipse lapsed we were joined later in the evening, shortly before sunset, by the Phantom Stranger who warned us that if this battle did not end soon, there would be dire consequences. This enraged Blue Devil, for he wanted the monster captured alive, to extract and save his barefoot lover, Barefoot Suzy. He told the Stranger to go to Hell and this is how we left him.

The battle continued across many Romanian provinces, it completely levelled the Transylvanian village in which my barefoot wife, Barefoot Abby was born. In the long-abandoned and obliterated ruins of Castle Arcane, in the mountains high above, our endgame came into play. Having adapted myself to the Barefoot Dark Hellchid's mystic flames, I overtook and restrained her. Blue Devil pinned her lithe nude body to me harmlessly with his trident. Then, the Barefoot Enchantress was at last able to perform the exorcism, at no risk to herself or anyone present. The demonic entity inhabiting the nude Dryadic nymph barefoot superheroine vanished, and Barefoot Suzy's true and non-threatening features re-emerged. Her purple-magenta color returned to her nude body, her eyes steamed harmlessly once more. Her mind and emotions returned to normal. Bewildered, Barefoot Suzy asked what was happening. Blue Devil told her it was over and she was safe now. The young couple kissed and we all felt immense relief that this had all ended well. I have returned back home to the swamp now. I will be heading to Barefoot Abby's house to celebrate this precious victory, with my beloved barefoot wife. It's good to be home after a job well done.

Next:
The Barefoot Black Orchid and Blue Devil. Will True Love Prevail?
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/black-orchid-and-blue-devil-will-true.html

The Barefoot Black Orchid: Possessed By The Demon Nebiros!

2006-03-28T22:00:00.000-08:00

Terrifying news tonight arrived from the Shadowpact:

re: Demon-Man Dan, Hell's Blue Devil-Man wrote:

"Swamp Thing. We got some serious problems here! Barefoot Suzy tagged along with the Shadowpact, as we set out to find a suitable magical method to trackdown the Barefoot Power Girl, Barefoot Lady Nightshade, and the others who seem to be abducted, rather than killed off. I say it's that damned Society of Villains that's murdered so many of our greatest friends. Nightmaster, the Barefoot Enchantress, Ragman and the Chimp aren't so sure about that. I'm outvoted here. Anyway, Barefoot Suzy said she's back and she'll work with us on this, whether she's one of us or not. Good, I said. Without Barefoot Lady Nightshade, we're a member short anyway. Barefoot Enchantress took us to this old castle in Transylvania, straight out of Dracula. She worked up a spell that could have taken us to where the missing heroes are, assuming they're still alive. While she was casting, Felix Faust popped up out of nowhere and shouted he was going to have his revenge. He blasted me with a mystical bolt and Barefoot Suzy picked up my trident [I dropped it.] and she got ready to charge him with it. Having planned it this way, Faust cast a spell that forced her to invoke Nebiros with my magical pitch fork. Before I could grab her mouth and shut her up, she gone and did it. Barefoot Black Orchid is now possessed, proclaimed herself as the "Barefoot Dark Hellchid" and then she stabbed me with my own trident, right through the chest! Pinned to the floor and bleeding out fire, I was helpless to protect the rest of the Shadowpact from her. She asked me if I was more to her liking sexually for now that she was a barefoot demon-girl. I told Nebiros to go back to Hell and leave my barefoot girfriend alone. The Barefoot Dark Hellchid said she was just getting started. Nightmaster charged her with his sword, but she knocked the weapon out of his hand and kicked his ass to the floor unconscious as he tried to retrieve it. She had this big claw hand and was just about to cut off Barefoot Enchantress's head with it, but ended up nearly gutting Ragman instead, who gallantly jumped in the way to protect his favorite barefoot witch. Now that's a man! Detective Chimp went running scared at this point. The Barefoot Dark Hellchid chased after the little monkey in her flight. Short and hairy ditched her, then made his way back to the rest of us, just after Felix Faust had his last laugh at our expense and disappeared. Chimp has no idea where Barefoot Suzy went, but we can all guess she's up to no good, as she's being possessed by Nebiros and all. Chimp did get this picture of her before she left when all the lightning started. It's all we've got. Good thing we still have you looking after us, as our big-shot ace in the swamps. You fought off Nebiros' possession, several years before I became Blue Devil. You know how to fight him when he pulls this kind of thing. We can only keep Barefoot Enchantress [who's pretty pissed off right now] from casting a spell that will kill Barefoot Suzy and send her to Hell with Nebiros only for so long. You're the only hope Barefoot Suzy has left. Get ready for us. We'll come get you and then you'll ride with us, soon as we make sure Ragman's gonna be okay. His costume's healing him. The hole in my chest is almost fixed itself, so I'm all good here. Hang in there and don't freak on us. Devil, gone."

re: Jim Rook, the Nightmaster wrote:

"Time is of the essence, Swamp Thing. Be prepared. Jim."

re: The Chimp Who Can Solve All Your Problems wrote:

"Get ready to haul grass, spinach head. Your barefoot hottie purple sidekick's got blood on her bare hands. She's in for it big time, if you blow this one and let her down. So you better get it right on this gig. See you in a little bit, Chimp."

My possession by Nebiros in 1975 cost Father Jonathan Bliss his life and his soul as he took the demon into his own frail form, which burned in the exorcism to save me and the world from Armageddon. Now Barefoot Suzy is possessed by the evil monstrosity. I must not fail to save her, no matter what occurs. The Shadowpact are here. It is time for my departure. I will report more on this later.

Next:
Our Demonic Armageddon Battle With The Barefoot Dark Hellchid.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/our-demonic-armageddon-battle-with.html

A Force To Be Reckoned With...

2006-03-27T23:00:00.000-08:00

Barefoot Abby and I confronted King Toad today. We regarded the low, pathetically vile creature together with our quiet hatred. He shouted at us and mocked us in his bitter contempt. He tried to spit at Barefoot Abby's nude body. Next, he attempted once more to try to free himself from the Prison Tree I have him trapped within. Then he shouted for his wretched Bayou Boys to come out and kill us. Cowards and fools that Nerk and Sissy Bob are--they wouldn't come out of hiding. King Toad expressed his outrage at this intrusion of his solitude with a scream. His minions awoke within the tree, and they all screamed too, fearing my judgment was at hand. No, not yet. Certainly not now. We turned away, leaving the foolish creature to his fate.

Next:
The Barefoot Black Orchid: Possessed By The Demon Nebiros!
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/black-orchid-possessed-by-demon.html

A Pleasant Night Alone With Barefoot Abby.

2006-03-26T23:00:00.000-08:00

Our friends left us today. The Barefoot Black Orchid and Blue Devil are going to try to work on their relationship problems. Barefoot Abby assures them it is worth the time. When we were alone in Barefoot Abby's house, we shared a solemn moment. We have have been through a lot over the years to reach this stage in our lives. It is good to know we can inspire others with our experiences.

Never in her personality to dwell too often, Barefoot Abby took my hand and led me out the back door of her house. She took up the golf club in the clearing of her garden and positioned a ball before her beautiful always bare feet in the cold wet grass. After several swinging demonstrations she handed me the club and insisted that I give it a try. In my first swing, unfortunately, I underestimated my strength and broke the club in half. Undaunted, Barefoot Abby rushed into the house and came back out with a spare club to play with.
This time, she showed me how to handle the club properly. Still, I hit the ball rather hard and it bounced. Barefoot Abby lost track of it with her flashlight. I told her to observe in my direction:

My "Arcane" look. Don't try this at home, my friends...

We continued the practice session, and between further amusements, I progressed rather nicely. I learned how to strike the ball in the distance and direction I desired. Then she showed me how to putt the ball into it's hole. It was much like watching a bird build a nest. Barefoot Abby was very proud of my successful golf playing lesson. Detective Chimp had better watch out. For there's a new supernatural golf player in town. And now that I'm qualified, I intend to give him some extremely sporting competition next weekend.

Next:
A Force To Be Reckoned With...
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/force-to-be-reckoned-with.html

Playing Golf With Detective Chimp.

2006-03-25T22:00:00.000-08:00

When It Comes To His Golf Playing,
Detective Chimp Doesn't Monkey Around...

Barefoot Abby, Barefoot Suzy and I were invited by Blue Devil and
Detective Chimp to come play golf with them today. It seemed like
an excellent idea. Barefoot Abby was thrilled to finally meet the Devil
and the Chimp after hearing so much about them from Barefoot Suzy.
The Chimp played an impressive first round, and he challenged
Barefoot Abby to surprass it. She gave it her best shot. Her lean
athletic nude body moved well-- her club striking the ball evenly.
"Hey. This is going to be so much fun." She said.

Barefoot Abby played an excellent game, but she still lost to the
Chimp. She was about to congratulate him for doing so well, but
he began to tease and taunt all of us with his golfing prowess,
which goaded Blue Devil and the Barefoot Black Orchid's egos
to no end, as he set out to make his next play.

Blue Devil was up next to the challenge. He was determined
to win this game. "No way I'm losing to the Chimp. Like Hell,
and I've been there. Bring it on!"

Despite Dan Cassidy's hard effort attempts, he too, lost to the
Chimp. Blue Devil was none to happy about it, as he'd made a
wager with the Chimp. Now it was looking like the talking
primate was about to carry the game home.

But then it came the Barefoot Black Orchid's turn. Barefoot Suzy
carefully positioned her beautiful nude purple body for each strike,
moderately surveying the distances with her steam-filled eyes.
She was dead-set upon winning this game to perfection.
"You want to play golf, Chimp. This is how you play it. Not with
words, but with actions."

Barefoot Suzy made a hole-in-one! It was game over for Detective
Chimp. "Next weekend," He insisted. the Barefoot Black Orchid and
Blue Devil were counting on it. Perhaps next time I shall have a play
of my own. It was a pleasurable diversion, though perhaps the
highlight of the day was this:

Barefoot Suzy's favorite past time. Flirting with Blue Devil.

Today was good fun. It is a sensation I am still getting used to,
thanks to Barefoot Abby and our interesting and entertaining friends.

Next:
A Pleasant Night Alone With Barefoot Abby.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/pleasant-night-alone-with-abby.html

Barefoot Tefé Had A Very Busy Week.

2006-03-24T17:00:00.000-08:00

Barefoot Tefé's Young Life Is Working Out, Swimmingly.

re: Barefoot Tefé Holland wrote:

"Hey, Dad. Had a hell of a lot to do these past few days. I have to thank you for having Barefoot Suzy hang out at Mom's house all week. She really saved my sexy nude butt on catching me up on my stupid homework. Good thing she's so highly intelligent, because I hate studying all the time. The things you have to do to graduate! Mom's been really nice to me too, even sold some of the plants in the backyard to help me pay off Barefoot Zaina's car. Brought in more than I thought. That's just awesome. Then Mom sat me down and had me paint some more stuff, sold the pictures and cashed that into my account. Mom says I'm creative and I need to recognize that. Whatever. As you can see in the above pic, my bare breasts are really starting to fill-out really well now, making my nude pole dancing nights at the clubs--interesting! Mom's also impressed, and she's back in pretty good shape for her age, too. It's time we picked us out a decent nude modeling agency. Pemberton in California's still a bunch of crooks. Troy-Anders in New York went under a few years back. That leaves the really big one: McCabe International. Mom says McCabe's always treated her well-- so that's what we'll go with. Money won't be a problem for this sexy barefoot swamp girl. Nothing's going to cramp my style in this life! Anyway, I went to a nude pool party after school, cleaned it out for free just because I'm beautiful, blah blah. Another day in the life of Barefoot Tefé Holland. But it's all worth it because of Barefoot Zaina. It's just good to feel wanted. I'm so tired out. It's so insane, living like this. That's normal life for me. It's been a good National Family Day. Later, Barefoot Tefé."

Barefoot Tefé's progress is most gratifying. She is improving rapidly.
This is a positive experience most rewarding for me to bear witness.
May she never fall again, and always make me so very proud.

Next:
Playing Golf With Detective Chimp.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/playing-golf-with-detective-chimp.html

A Relatively Peaceful Night In The Swamp...

2006-03-23T23:00:00.000-08:00

Things have been rather quiet tonight. After conducting my regular search for monsters Nerk and Bob. Finishing my latest torture/interrogation of King Toad, I went over to Barefoot Abby's house to check on Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Suzy, and to inquire as to Barefoot Tefé's continuing maturity and development.
Barefoot Abby reports she and Barefoot Suzy have helped each other tremendously. Barefoot Abby feels safer at night with Barefoot Suzy there standing loyally by her side, since I am often unable to attend that responsibility myself. The Barefoot Black Orchid's beautiful purple nude breasts shimmer pleasantly in the moonlight.

The barefoot women have talked openly about Barefoot Abby witnessing Barefoot Candy Taylor's grisly fate, as well as the suffering Barefoot Suzy endured when she was savagely raped two days afterward. Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Suzy both despise the monstrosity named Nerk with a passion. Barefoot Abby expressed relief at my assurances that any or all of Barefoot Suzy's infections, or possible impregnation, have been properly attended to with my imperative administrations of her. Sadly, due to the intensity of Barefoot Suzy's rape and the resulting abortive requirements, there may never be more of Barefoot Suzy's kind as a result of this, for despite Barefoot Abby's recent gift of approval--it may be impossible for Barefoot Suzy and I to ever procreate another great garden of Barefoot Black Orchids, such as the one doomed to Barefoot Suzy's long-deceased barefoot sister/adopted barefoot mother, after the elder Barefoot Black Orchid and I had founded it in the Amazon jungles, years ago. Nor will Barefoot Suzy ever be able to have any children with her lover, Blue Devil. These are difficult times for us all, but we push on as we must. For this is who and what we are and what we need to be.

Next:
Barefoot Tefé Had A Very Busy Week.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/tef-had-very-busy-week.html

Batman: The Dark Knight Denied.

2006-03-22T22:00:00.000-08:00

The Batman visited the swamp tonight. His Batplane landed smoothly on the runway I had made for Barefoot Lady Blackhawk. He approached, his mask allowing his eyes to adjust perfectly to the darkness. The Batman asked if I was prepared to do my part in his quest to locate and destroy the Brother Eye satellite. He asked that I create a distraction, to allow his strike force to attack and disable the mechanism without casualties. Given consideration to Constantine's warnings against being involved in the Infinite Crisis, I outwardly refused. I wouldn't endanger the denizens of my community and environment for this reason. "Fair enough." he said, unsurprised by my refusal. He would have to contact the Checkmate organization to initiate his backup plan. He and his fellow heroes must put their plans on hold until then. Yet he seemed not at all upset by this denial, as if he has a new steadfast advantage and my cooperation would have put it into immediate effect if I had accepted his request. His willingness to accept the delay is also part of his strategy it seems. He departed without another word. Like Superman, he's now a changed man. I cannot help but wonder what the future holds for these heroes. Everything seems so different than it was before. Let's hope the Batman and his allies will be able to put an end to the dangers threatened by the OMAC Project, for that victory will bring them closer to ending this Infinite Crisis once and for all.

Next:
A Relatively Peaceful Night In The Swamp...
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/relatively-peaceful-night-in-swamp.html

Further Correspondence From Constantine.

2006-03-21T22:00:00.000-08:00

John Constantine is back on the blog with more dark comedy, criticisms and commentary:

re: Hellblazer John, the F-'ing Ex-Con wrote:

"Greetings From Glasgow, Chief. Finally made it here after some considerable delays. Saw the Blackhawk bird fly overhead twice last weekend. So you finally made it across the pond to check up on Barefoot Lady Jane's new lodgings and sleeping arrangement, eh? Right. Then, you sent the barefoot women packing off to Ireland as you sauntered over back home. I understand one of your barefoot ladyfriends gave that ruder-than-noise Leprechaun his just desserts. And that's just recent tricks. You seem to have things squared away. Up until Barefoot Poison Ivy's recent visit to the swamp, that is. Woodrue's bad news. Always has been. Why you didn't humour Barefoot Ivy's request is beyond me. Now when the bollocks hit the fan, you'll have only yourself to blame. Barefoot Zatanna getting a mindwipe right? Don't count your cobblers on it. Even I couldn't get it to work. And I know her. She screws it up every time. The bloody JLA were too damn off-putting in their scope to notice. You wouldn't believe the times I tried to get Barefoot Zatanna to lay off from it all, before she jolly well goes down in searing flames like her father did in her place all those years back. But no, you take a half-arsed report from your little representative barefoot concubine that Woodrue's been properly lobotomized and polish your coat of arms like it's nothing, all goodness and relief. Just wait until it comes back to bite you. Just wait... And another thing, didn't I tell you to stay out of all these Infinite Crisis affairs our boy Alex Luthor is stirring up? That bit of advice also very well applies to the Barefoot Black Orchid, for the nonce. Don't let her run off again anytime soon, mate. Keep the barefoot flower at home. Don't let her out until the 52 weeks of peace and quiet following the fireworks are in effect. By then things won't be so quiet for you, but everywhere else is fair game for the solidarity she's looking for. The reason for your unrest while the rest of the world quiets down? There's a double-edged sword. But I'll leave that up for you and your chum Woodrue to decide. Congrats to Barefoot Tefé for getting her act together after all this time. I knew my barefoot girl had it in her, but don't let her get behind on the payments. You know how used car dealers have been these past couple of years. One step out of line, and they pop your cap. Or make you wish they had. Take that business with the Barefoot Wonder Woman on the telly for instance. Now, I'm not forgetting Barefoot Abby. Keep fanning the flames of her resolve, Chief. She's going to be your rock when things get tough. While I'm at this, I'll admit to a wee bit of a problem of my own. Did Barefoot Abby ever mention how she used to have empathy fits in her late teens, when she wasn't much older than Barefoot Tefé is now? It was due to her not wanting to take up dear old Uncle Anton on his magical training promises.
She lost herself a few times, chasing after you at dearly departed Matt Cable's side. It's also the reason she fell so hard for you. Mystery solved on that one. But what happens when unwanted empathy goes south? That's the problem I'm getting now I'm off the magic books for good. Or at least until the 10th age starts. I want it gone, Chief. Shared feelings are the pits. I'm not all hearts and flowers like Barefoot Abby. Empathy is the enemy, as my new Scottish chronicler Barefoot Denise Mina puts it. I'll find an out-- I always manage to. Management is something most people aren't good at these days, so that puts me a bit ahead. Until I figure on this and get back to you, Tally ho! and all that, John. Happy 21st Spring Rite Handfasting Anniversary to you and Barefoot Abby. Cheers, mate!"

As always, Constantine raises more questions than he answers.
But then, this method is nothing new with him...

Next:
Batman: The Dark Knight Denied.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/batman-dark-knight-denied.html

Barefoot Tefé's New Car!

2006-03-20T19:00:00.000-08:00

Barefoot Tefé bought her new car for Barefoot Zaina today.
She is very exciting about this purchase as her e-mail confirms:

re: Barefoot Tefé Holland wrote:

"Well Dad, I did it! Barefoot Zaina just finished the paperwork and I wrote the check for the down payment on our new used car! Hot damn, this awesome ride is so rocking! What a dream. Couldn't be happier, so I'll check out on a high note. Keep up the morale, Dad. You're the best. Love, Barefoot Tefé."

I am so very happy for Barefoot Tefé. If anyone's earned this she certainly has on this Teenager's Day.

Next:
Further Correspondence From Constantine.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/further-correspondence-from.html

Weekend Tour of Ireland: An Update From Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Suzy.

2006-03-19T17:00:00.000-08:00

Where have Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Suzy been for the last two days? Why, spending St. Patrick's Day Weekend in Ireland with Barefoot Lady Blackhawk, of course! I'll let both of these always beautiful barefoot women tell the story:

re: Barefoot Abigail Arcane-Cable-Holland wrote:

"Hi. Barefoot Abby here, Alec. Hope that picture of me got your attention! Torc Waterfall in County Kerry, Ireland was a spectacular place to lounge. Barefoot Suzy and I camped there for the night and we bathed nude under these gorgeous waterfalls all of the next day while Barefoot Lady Blackhawk went clubbing all night at the local pubs and she slept [allegedly alone, smile!] in her plane. Take a look at this pic I took of Barefoot Suzy when she flew us up to the top and took a breather:

Isn't she impressive? Anyway, over to Barefoot Suzy.
Love you always, Barefoot Abby."

re: Barefoot Susan Linden-Thorne-Weems II wrote:

"There's even more in the telling, Alec!
Barefoot Zinda won some pub gambling game with high stakes!
Here's our lucky barefoot lady winner in her all her glory:

And if luck wasn't the theme of the weekend:
Lucky waterfall location, Lucky winnings, etc.

Then wait until you see what we encountered next:

Yes! We were accosted by an actual magical Leprechaun from Shamrock Land, demanding the location of his misplaced gold! Fortunately, my childhood experiences crusading in Free Country prepared me for this. Without giving the Leprechaun any chance to strike, I lifted him up into the air and flew off with him. He was surprised by this swift action to say the least. Using my best intuition, I found his pot of lost gold situated under a rainbow.
I dropped him into the pot of gold, where he sank and seemingly drowned. Then I hid the tainted treasure where no one will find it, making sure all the gold pieces stayed together. And that was our weekend. We're coming back and will see you soon. Stay well, Alec. Barefoot Suzy."

The barefoot women in my life lead the most eventful lives imaginable. I never fail to be admirably inspired with them.

"I would love to live my life,
as like the river flows,
carried by the surprise,
of its own unfolding."
- Poet John O'Donohue.

Next:
Barefoot Tefé's New Car!
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/tefs-new-car.html

Sunday Fishing With My Friends.

2006-03-19T11:00:00.000-08:00

Barefoot Louise-Marie, quite a catch for her husband Jean.

I went net fishing with my new Cajun friends I met last weekend, Jean and Barefoot Louise-Marie de Le Beau this morning. The couple have taken out a loan to repair their hurricane-damaged house, and tomorrow the payment is due. They desperately need to catch and sell fresh fish at the market today, lest they be saddled with interest charges. That's where I came in. They told me no one makes demands of the Good Gumbo Man. But they remembered my kindness and asked for the favor of my divine blessing on today's fishing effort. I offered my help. They were overjoyed and grateful. Soon, Barefoot Louise-Marie plunged her nude body into the cool drink. While she was adjusting the nets illuminated under Jean's flashlight,
I took this splendid picture of her with my digital camera. Barefoot Abby will be quite impressed with the picture, for the Cajun Folk have been kind to her over the years. When the couple had finished their work swimming and were back to driving the boat, I remained underwater and began the process of attracting the reluctant fish and shrimp toward the nets. Success! Now all they have to concern themselves with is the effort and responsiblity of hauling it all safely to market. But first I had to get them to stop thanking me and praising my name. It's good to have friends that revere me so deeply. But essentially, I am merely trying to be as human as they are. I have helped them when they needed it most, and that is what is so important to understand.

Next:
Weekend Tour of Ireland: An Update From Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Suzy.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/weekend-tour-of-ireland-update-from.html

Barefoot Tefé: Pooling Her Resources.

2006-03-18T12:00:00.000-08:00

Barefoot Tefé has some good news concerning her desire to buy a car to share with her beautiful barefoot lesbian lover, Barefoot Zaina:

re: Barefoot Tefé Holland wrote:

"I'll make this one short and sweet, Dad. I did it! I have enough cash transferred to my bank account back home to start buying Barefoot Zaina's car when we get back to Houma! Who would have thought pool cleaning in Rio would pay off so well? People party like crazy down here in Brazil and a lot of underwater pool filters needed my attention. Add that to my nude beach modeling, my shell and pearl diving profits, my painting, the arts and crafts I sold at Mardi Gras, all the sexy pole dancing and mud wrestling tournaments I do at the clubs, and with all the pool cleaning done I come up with at least two hundred left after the down payment. How cool is that? I'm so excited for Barefoot Zaina, it's her first car of her own. She says it's mine too, but I'll make her do all the driving, because I don't care at all for being behind a wheel. All I care about is this will make Barefoot Zaina happy, and maybe someday this year or next, she'll be ready to accept the truth about me and I'll introduce you to her. Until then, I'm just going to be as easygoing with her as possible before trying to go on the level about you again. Damn, I'm good. Since this is National Forgive Mom and Dad Day, let me say everything's clear with us, okay? Love you, Dad! See you on Monday, Barefoot Tefé."

I cannot express the pleasure this news has brought to me.
Barefoot Tefé's emotional problems seem to be resolved at this time.
I am quite satisfied she has managed to fit in to her new life so wonderfully.

Next:
Sunday Fishing With My Friends.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/sunday-fishing-with-my-friends.html

St. Patrick's Day and Barefoot Lady Jane.

2006-03-17T16:00:00.000-08:00

This is Barefoot Lady Jane. She was the Swamp Thing of the Victorian Age of the 1800s. She confronted white slavery and abuse of children when she first came into being in early industrial England. She studied mysticism during the twilight years of Barefoot Lady Johanna Constantine. She took to horseback riding and vigilantism, and was associated in membership with the Justice Brigade of the American Old West. She later joined the Parliament of Trees and was devoted to their standards for well over 95 years. For the last decade she has been lost to us. Tormented in a hellish fate inflicted by the archangel known only as the Word, who himself had been since slain. Now she has mysteriously rematerialized, but not in the burned out Amazon jungle where she had fallen. Barefoot Lady Jane's currently in Sussex, England. She is very much alive, but in a restful state perhaps never to awaken. She is believed to be a sculpture, commonly referred to as "The Sleeping Giant." But I know she dwells within that idle form. Barefoot Abby, Barefoot Suzy and I went there today to pay our respects on a pilgrimage to this site. As I had hoped, Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Suzy have come to greater resolves in their discussions over Barefoot Lady Jane. All the doubts, fears, regrets, and terrors they face today were also dealt with by Barefoot Lady Jane long ago. She is proving to be an inspiration to the barefoot women present here. Except for our barefoot lady pilot, Barefoot Lady Blackhawk who is merely disappointed she didn't collect bottles of the healing mud on our last flight, claiming that one mud bath had been the best body soap, facial, and shampoo she'd ever had, and that there is no such prize to be found here. It was a good way to spend St. Patrick's Day, and tonight Barefoot Zinda intends to take Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Suzy to Ireland to partake of the Luck of the Irish night life. I have since returned home to await the beautiful barefoot women's arrival here in the swamp tomorrow or later. Barefoot Lady Jane remains an issue that is unresolved. But in her case, that is for the best. She is alive again and slumbering beautifully. She is completely at peace now. That is what matters.

Next:
Barefoot Tefé: Pooling Her Resources.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/tef-pooling-her-resources.html

This Is What Friends Are Made For!

2006-03-16T19:00:00.000-08:00

Barefoot Abby's Back In The Swamp, And Better Than Ever!

Barefoot Abby finally got out of the hospital today. I had just finished talking to Barefoot Suzy when all of a sudden, Barefoot Suzy threw herself upon me and kissed me in passionate gratitude, just as Barefoot Abby barefooted as silently as ever from out of the ankle-deep creek water on her always barefoot toes, and moved stealthly toward us. I was so involved in Barefoot Suzy's kiss, I didn't notice Barefoot Abby until she spoke. She asked if she could join in? It was a humbling moment. Barefoot Abby's sense of humor could not have been better timed. I took Barefoot Abby into my arms and hugged her gently. Barefoot Abby said Barefoot Suzy and I both better save some kisses for her next time. Barefoot Suzy, still sitting next to us, folded her hands over her face and cried. Barefoot Abby asked what was wrong. I told her everything. Barefoot Abby comforted Barefoot Suzy, telling her everything would work itself out somehow. Barefoot Suzy reminded us of our scheduled flight with Barefoot Lady Blackhawk tonight. I told Barefoot Abby it was about Barefoot Lady Jane, and she might not wish to come. Try and stop me, was Barefoot Abby's enthusiastic response. Barefoot Abby never ceases to amaze me. Now the three of us are off to contact Barefoot Lady Blackhawk to pick us up on our pilgrimage to visit and reflect upon a long-fallen comrade: the venerable Barefoot Lady Jane, who has been gone for years now but she has most assuredly not been forgotten by any of us. Perhaps this excursion may provide the enlightenment we are all so desperately seeking to face the darkness that lies in the days, months, and years ahead.

Next:
St. Patrick's Day and Barefoot Lady Jane.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/st-patricks-day-and-lady-jane.html

More Phantasms In The Swamp...

2006-03-15T10:00:00.000-08:00

I had a strange encounter this morning. Ghostly manifestations of Arcane's original Un-Men attacked me as I was posing for this timed snapshot on my digital camera, as I'd finally figured out the function. [Perhaps I'm more human than I tend to think.]
At any rate, the viciousness of the creatures assault lessened and
I vanquished them once I'd gotten all the guilt over Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Suzy out of my mind. Then it occurred to me. Am I the one responsible for all the bizarre things currently happening in the swamp? Before I could think on it further I heard the sound of a young barefoot woman sobbing nearby. This was the Barefoot Black Orchid. She must have flown all night to make it all the way from Gotham to be present here today. I picked her up and told her it was too dangerous for her to be here. Barefoot Suzy said she was sorry, but she had nowhere else to go. By the time I'd gotten her to a safe place, she'd already gone to sleep in my arms. At least I know my young barefoot lady partner is safe, and that's all that matters to me at the moment, on this fearful Ides of March.

Next:
This Is What Friends Are Made For!
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/this-is-what-friends-are-made-for.html

Barefoot Suzy's Startling Discovery.

2006-03-14T13:00:00.000-08:00

Is The Barefoot Black Orchid's Lastest Report Too Incredible
To Be Believed? Or Is It Simply Too Painful To Accept?

Barefoot Suzy's had her confrontation with Cat-Man of the Secret Six.
The intelligence she's gained from Lex Luthor's erstwhile fugitive pawn, however, has yet to be confirmed, or the enormity of it, withstood.

re: Barefoot Susan Linden-Thorne-Weems II wrote:

"Thomas Blake, the Cat-Man, is one of the most frustrating people I've ever met. He forced me to track him halfway across Gotham before I finally caught up with him and subdued the paranoid sociopath. He tried to get me with his claws, but a few punches upside his stubborn head cured him of the ludicrous delusion he was going to escape from me. We were just lucky a patrol of OMACs didn't come along and fry the both of us, the way we were fighting out in the open like that! When I got Mr. Blake to listen to reason, we doubled back the way he was originally heading. Once we reached his hideout, Cat-Man was very down to business. He drew out a wad of large envelopes, all sealed together hastily with duct tape and cut them apart with his claws. Clearly these files had been stolen. He threw one of them down on the desk in right there front of me entitled "Barefoot Black Orchid" and ordered me to sit down and read it. At once, I recognized the old LexCorp logo at the top of the file. I knew this was not a record on my confirmed deceased identical older barefoot sister and adopted barefoot mother, who raised me. No, this was a complete file recording much of the secret history of the original costumed Barefoot Black Orchid, who may in fact have been the true Barefoot Susan Linden resurrected, rather than the first of a high class hybrid nymph manifestation leading to the existence of others such as myself. All of this is common knowledge to the both of us, Alec. But here's where sensibility leaves us: The story didn't end with her death at Sterling's brutal hands on Luthor's behest. No, the file supports the rumor that she did in fact fake her death and is still at large in this world! Even crazier, the original Barefoot Black Orchid and the Qwardian pocket dimension Earth expatriate Owlman of the Crime Syndicate were touted as former considerations for membership in Luthor's Secret Six, as a means of infiltrating Villain Society security and allowing Luthor to determine the identity of his false counterpart behind the existence of the Villains United. Cat-Man insists Luthor knows who his doppelganger is by now, but took off after the false Luthor on his own. What's more, when I insisted the original Barefoot Black Orchid couldn't possibly still be alive after all this time, as she would have found and cared for me, Cat-Man got really mad and slapped me across the face, knocking me out of my chair and onto the floor. He shouted at me, telling me I was a stupid-as-Hell follower of superheroes and their pathetic methods that ultimately lead to mindwipes, and that I should wake up and accept cold hard reality. He persists the first Barefoot Black Orchid is still out there to this day, running a different program in the event of having to fake her death all those years ago. Now she's doing things I couldn't possibly accept. So she rejected me, to continue her mission. She could be anyone now. Anywhere. Anytime. Doing anything... possibly, unspeakable things. In Barefoot Earth Mother Gaea's name, that's what he said! Cat-Man asked me what I think of "Justice" now? My answer, my bare right foot slammed solidly good and hard into his face, sent him flying across the room. That's exactly what he assumed would be my reaction, he commented, while nursing his swollen jaw aching from my kick. Before he left, I asked him: Why did he try to escape from me in the first place? He told me it's the Barefoot Catwoman's birthday, and he didn't want to be late for her party by wasting his time with me! Oh, the nerve of the man! He staggered outside and disappeared back to his insane and miserable fugitive life. Then I was alone and it all sank in... I'm scared. Honestly, I don't know if I can deal with this. I don't know if I want to. It would hurt me too much, if I learned this was true. I've been through more than enough already. I don't know if I can go on with this. I don't want to sound selfish, and it would break my heart completely to disappoint you, but this is something that I can't do. I'm sorry, but it's over for me. Please don't count on me for anything anymore. I love you and your family more than anything. But it's time for me to stop. I can't go on, not after seeing this. It hurts too much. Please take care and don't be afraid for me. I'll be fine, I hope. Always yours forever, Barefoot Suzy."

Is this too heavy a blow for Barefoot Suzy to withstand? Is the era of altruistic superheroism at its end? Is there to be no hope for any of us? All I know is that dear Barefoot Suzy needs me terribly, and I cannot let this suffering pass. She must not be alone. I should never have sent her away in such a vulnerable state. If anything bad ever happens to her because of all this, I will never forgive myself...
Some secrets need to stay buried, no matter what the cost.

Next:
More Phantasms In The Swamp...
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/more-phantasms-in-swamp.html

Life Is A Beach For Barefoot Tefé.

2006-03-13T18:00:00.000-08:00

Barefoot Tefé and Barefoot Zaina, The Most Exquisite Young Nude
Beautiful Barefoot Women Currently Vacationing In Rio De Janeiro.

Barefoot Tefé's hedonistic leisure time out of the country has already reaped great benefits. Not only is she beginning to put things into perspective, she's starting to accept her lot in life. As she's reached almost the complete and final full maturity of her teen years, the young beautiful barefoot woman she's become is ready to implement the wisdom of her wanderings and learnings. She is an individual in her own right, as this following sentimental message attests:

re: Barefoot Tefé Holland wrote:

"Dad. As I've been dancing, surfing, swimming, diving, resting, and sunbathing here nude and wet all day on a gorgeous beach in Brazil with Barefoot Zaina in my arms, I'm starting to think you're probably right about all the things we've talked about the last couple months. It's time to take stock about everything. My life isn't so terrible now. Barefoot Zaina really loves me, and that's something I won't take for granted. I will graduate Houma High soon, and that'll make Mom proud. I really appreciate everything you've tried to do for me. But what can I do for you? I mean, you live through other people now. That's kind of cool. One would think you'd have thrown the laptop aside now and gone back to overseeing the moss growing on the trees, listening to the birds sing, and fighting the bug-eyed monsters. But the fighting isn't so easy now that there are other worlds being blown up in the sky every night. So I've been thinking. Since you want to share in my little victories, how about I kick things up a knotch? I learned a lot of different things in my time on the road with Pilate and Barnabus. Odd skills and weird tactics and crap that are useful. Barefoot Zaina likes fancy sports cars. So tomorrow I'm going to run around nude all over the entire resort if I damn well have to, go find the right job that won't kill me, and work for the money to buy that car Barefoot Zaina swooned over in Houma. I'll get the money right here in Brazil, though Barefoot Zaina's not crazy about my plans. She says I'm totally full of shit to blow off a week-long vacation. I don't give a flying fuck. It's my time to waste. Anyway... It'll give me something to shoot for. If I can make it so there's less gloom and doom in the world for you when I fill you on more of this turn-about back home, all the better. About you: I'm not afraid of stupid Nerk and Bob or what crazy-ass King Toad wants to do to all the people in the Gulf, including the whole lot of us, so screw them! From now on I'm doing what I want. And I'm going to be dignified about it, just like you, the big-ass nature god superhero and your smart and cushy cute sidekick Barefoot Suzy. I mean, you're a big walking talking plant who just happens to be most dignified person in the entire world right now. I know it's cliché, but I really want to be just like you. That's why I'm here, nude wet bare fully-tanned boobs and Brazilian-waxed ass on a white sandy nude beach, wearing just shades and nude body-jewelry, white-blonde hair all slicked back in the salt water, true to myself, dignified and as far away from the junkies and losers as possible. I can't see myself going back to that. Things would have to be pretty bad. I think Barefoot Zaina feels it too. I'm not running away, just going my own way. And I will come back, because that's what I feel is right. Do yourself a favor, Dad. Stop worrying about everything and everyone so much. Whatever happens, happens. Just make the most of it and make every moment count for something. Don't you even bother to give a crap about all the days you're useless in-between. We all have our own little setbacks in our lives. I know I do. I live for moments like this. I said all I can say. Barefoot Zaina's getting hotter by the minute. I'll close. Love you, Dad. Here's beach sand in your e-mail. Barefoot Tefé."

Astounding.

My barefoot little one's not so little anymore. She's all grown up, and it certainly shows in this most pleasing and reassuring development of her overall personality. Such wisdom. I love my enduring family.

Next:
Barefoot Suzy's Startling Discovery.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/suzys-startling-discovery.html

Naturist Cajun Couple With Class.

2006-03-12T19:00:00.000-08:00

A Cajun fisherman and his barefoot wife, Jean and Barefoot Louise,
visited me today after setting their nets and anchoring their boat.
They swam nude right up to me and said hello with reassuring voices.
The couple were very friendly and asked a lot of simple questions.
They were unafraid and unreserved, which is about the only way
I can make friends. In fact, I was so pleased with their company,
I led them out of the water in which we were swimming, to casually
take this picture of them once I'd obtained my digital camera. It's
the human thing to do to capture memories on film. If I am to make
Barefoot Abby as happy as she should be, then I must show her I will
try to be as human as possible. I'm sure she'll be glad to know I have
friends of my own out here in the swamp again. The nude couple left
on their little sailing ship in high spirits. The Cajun traditional term
Bon Gumbo is a grand title I wear with great pride. It is the most
human of my merits, and one I shall always cherish from now on.

Next:
Life Is A Beach For Barefoot Tefé.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/life-is-beach-for-tef.html

My Darling Barefoot Wife, Barefoot Abby.

2006-03-11T18:00:00.000-08:00

Barefoot Abby was given enough privacy late today that I was able to visit her at the hospital. Her room was dark. I grew myself from the flowers there. I woke her gently from her afternoon nap. She was under heavy sedation, but she struggled her tired nude body to sit up. She pointed to the closet where her digital camera sat atop her other belongings. She told me to take a picture and hit "send" as it would transmit the image of her sitting on the bed to my laptop in the swamp. I was most grateful for this gift. She asked what brought me here. I told her I was worried about her, now that Barefoot Tefé had gone on her spring break vacation, there was no one to look after Barefoot Abby. She told me I was sweet for coming. I asked if she was all right? Barefoot Abby said she was feeling better. She said she will always love me unconditionally, but she wants the madness to end. I asked if she would leave me yet again... After an unsettling moment, Barefoot Abby said she'd never run away again. Whatever the problem, we must face it together. I'm always the one to keep her on her always barefoot toes. And that's the way always she likes it! We embraced. Barefoot Abby said she loved me more than ever, but it was time for me to leave. A barefoot lady nurse was about to enter. I took to the flowers and reset them as Barefoot Abby jumped into bed again. Now, I have a reason to celebrate this 50th post on this weblog! Barefoot Abby has always loved me through it all, and now I realize to my comfort that she always will.

Next:
Naturist Cajun Couple With Class.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/cajun-couple-with-class.html

Barefoot Tefé's Spring Break.

2006-03-10T18:00:00.000-08:00

Barefoot Tefé began her nude spring break vacation this evening. Her cruise ship left for a Brazilian naturist resort late this afternoon. She looked magnificent when she came to say good-bye to me. Her anticipation, excitement of freedom and pleasure was exhilarating.

I felt the grass and earth she stood upon move gently under her beautiful always bare feet as she set out and departed my company in a graceful barefoot race. She then stopped at the water's edge, danced nude and took a few deep breaths, then plunged her sleek beautiful nude body into the nearby lagoon, swimming underwater toward the docks to save time. It's good to see her swim again.

There is no doubt Barefoot Tefé and her beautiful barefoot lesbian lover, Barefoot Zaina will have a splendid week-long vacation. I am most sincerely happy for them. She makes her father proud! It is little moments like this--the happiest of memories make my often-miserable existence worthwhile.

Next:
My Darling Barefoot Wife, Barefoot Abby.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/my-darling-wife-abby.html

Superman's Salvation?

2006-03-09T22:00:00.000-08:00

Superman visited me briefly tonight. He said he'd already visited Barefoot Abby earlier at the hospital as soon as he'd browsed the headline detailing last week's attack. He thanked Barefoot Abby for helping Barefoot Diana last month. He says he's very sorry he didn't come sooner, but he's been extremely busy. He asked if the problem has been dealt with. I assured him it will be soon. He confessed his recent experiences have made him a changed man. Most importantly, he wanted to know why I have such power, and do not use it for the betterment of humankind. I replied, humanity is not my concern.
The moment I take care of the world is the moment that his adopted people don't. He confessed desire to give up his identity and powers once the crisis has passed. I told him he should. He asked why?
I said the world can have a Superman, but it should not need one. He always knew this, but denied it to himself. He said it is time to end this neverending battle. He thanked me for my counsel and flew off quickly into the night sky. When this crisis is over, may Superman find the peace he seeks. And our world must find it without him.

Next:
Barefoot Tefé's Spring Break.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/tefs-spring-break.html

King Toad: What A Load.

2006-03-08T21:00:00.000-08:00

Not One of My Better Days...

I went to see King Toad at the Prison Tree I created for him today.
It was pointless to try to reason with him. He took malicious delight in his son Nerk's atrocities. Barefoot Candy's murder, Barefoot Suzy's rape, and Barefoot Abby's torment are not the end of the suffering he has in store for me and mine. King Toad would even threaten Barefoot Tefé, were he aware her powers are gone. Outraged, I raised the Prison Tree higher, leaving King Toad and his fellow prisoners hanging upside down, as further punishment. Enough is enough. I will not stop until Nerk and Bob are destroyed. King Toad will stay alive and unharmed until then. I will act with swift, lethal force to prevent another ethereal escape of the murderous monsters. They will be slain. Then King Toad will be next. There is no alternative. This war is deadly serious.

Next:
Superman's Salvation?
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/supermans-salvation.html

Farewell To A Barefoot Lady Friend.

2006-03-07T09:00:00.000-08:00

The Barefoot Black Orchid. The Most Important, Loyal, Dependable Barefoot Lady Friend I Have. May We Meet Again Soon.

Barefoot Suzy and I returned to the bayou late last night. Barefoot Lady Blackhawk departed in her airplane in high spirits, saying she would always remember us. Barefoot Suzy is restored to full health. This morning, I insisted that she leave and not return for her own safety, as I would have to deal with the King Toad situation on my own, as well as the potential threat of Woodrue. She felt her place was dealing with some aspect of the Infinite Crisis, anyway.
She intends to seek out the fugitive Cat-Man, and learn if his "Mockingbird" is indeed our former enemy Lex Luthor. Dangerous though this move might be, it is preferable to the Villains United Society mass jailbreak rumored to us recently by Barefoot Poison Ivy. I told Barefoot Suzy I would not summon her again until the Infinite Crisis is over. However, she must stay in contact with Barefoot Abby and Barefoot Tefé, for her own peace of mind. She agreed to these terms. After a tearful goodbye, she set out into the world once more. Both Barefoot Abby and I will miss her, but I cannot let it distract me.
If Nerk and Bob are too elusive to be captured or destroyed for the duration of this crisis, then I must must confront the source of this atrocity. I'm going to take this wretched matter up with King Toad himself, where he stands subjugated at the Prison Tree.

Next:
King Toad: What A Load.
http://swampthingblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/king-toad-what-load.html