Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Constantine. Always The Same.

Speak Of The Devil...

I have an e-mail from John Constantine last night that speaks plainly for itself:

re: Hellblazer John, the F-'ing Ex-Con wrote:

"Hullo, Chief. Gone and nicked yourself your very own weblog. Eh? Very 21st Century of you, by your sodden-offed cobblers. Right. You just might be the hit of the hinterlands yet. Just to give you a ring-up, I'm well on the mend from the wretched taking from me of my barefoot sis, Barefoot Cheryl. Still hurts, when I'm not looking, though. Bloody nice of you, to drop by those flowers for her arrangements last month. They're still blooming full, bye-the-bye. You and Barefoot Abby haven't been giving my barefoot girl, Barefoot Tefé a hard time, now have you? She's well past the tough love stage, so wise up and buy the little sitting puppet barefoot empress her pony. Now about this Infinite Crisis business, shut up and listen: take your bollocks elsewhere, it's not worth it. Not for you, mate. I've turned my back on magic, seeing as how the ninth age was about to finish up shop anyhow. So I'll be of no help to you if you get in over your head again. Don't hold this whole Barefoot Jade thing against Alex, too much. Let your hero friends handle it. Just them. Do a bloke a favour, and stick with the programme. Strewth! Listen to convincing John for once. Eh? I'm on the level here, no tricks. Well, I'm off to Glasgow to see what business my new barefoot girl friday, Barefoot Denise Mina has in store for the chronicling. Should be a relaxing trip, no headaches. Whups! Sorry, Barefoot Abby if you're even bothering to read this. If a certain AWOL Barefoot Themysciran Amazon fugitive from the Hague comes your way, give the good Barefoot Madame Ambassador a fine pat on the back for offing that righteously misguided used car salesman. Had it coming, he did. Well, old spinich. I stuck it in long enough, time to break it off, for now. Jolly good talking to you this way. Yours and whatever, John."

I will say this for the man:
He certainly has a way with words...

The Barefoot Wonder Woman, A Beautiful Barefoot Amazon Princess In Need of Our Friendship and Hope.


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