A Hero's Funeral Honored In Smallville.
I was in Smallville, Kansas today attending Superboy's funeral with Barefoot Abby, Barefoot Tefé, and Barefoot Suzy. Barefoot Lady Blackhawk dropped us off at the memorial garden, and jetted off to pick up more passengers to bring to Smallville. The barefoot women enjoyed the gentle feeling of cold marbled concrete underfoot beneath their typically always bare feet as we walked. Even I rather liked the feel of it myself, I must say. This occasion was quite a gathering. Heroes, officials, and civilians alike came to mourn the loss of the great young hero, Conner Kent. The tomb Superman constructed for his deceased partner is impressive. Barefoot Tefé excused herself from our company and promptly introduced herself to Barefoot Cassandra Sandsmark, explaining to the young and always barefoot superheroine who is of Barefoot Tefé's same advancing teen age, that she is my barefoot daughter and is sympathetic to her loss. Barefoot Tefé had long been an admirer of Superboy and the Barefoot Wonder Girl and wished to speak and bond with the other barefoot girl. We gave the two barefoot girls their opportunity to speak alone, as the rest of us walked on in a different direction. Several Smallville citizens looked upon me without fear, merely posing insanely wild theories about how Barefoot Suzy and I came to exist and taking pictures of us, as we walked calmly past police and the crowd. How strange all of this is. Barefoot Abby pointed out Superman, Barefoot Lois Lane-Kent, and the Martian Manhunter, who was asked by Barefoot Lois to find her husband. Later, "Clark Kent" arrived alone and claimed the Martian had set out on a mission. Barefoot Abby remarked how the obvious passing resemblance between Superman and his friend Clark Kent is uncanny, and it is not surprising to her how Superman and Kent were more than once mistaken by the media to be one and the same, all those years ago. If only I could tell her how such a constant aura-masking deception as conducted by the Kryptonian and sometimes aided by the Martian to conceal Superman's secret identity of the mild-mannered Kent persona publicly cannot deceive an entity such as myself upon seeing it. How else could Superboy be publicly known as Conner Kent, without giving anything away? Or Clark Kent's mundane wearing of eyeglasses as an everyday disguise, for that matter? Under lighter circumstances, I would find this most amusing. Today, however, was an occasion most saddening. Superman, Nightwing, Robin, Beast Boy, Barefoot Raven, Barefoot Donna Troy, Barefoot Cassie Sandsmark, and several others took turns speaking at the podium. Each displayed how unique an individual Conner Kent was in his brief, fast-lived young life. In truth, Barefoot Abby, Barefoot Tefé, and Barefoot Suzy were so sadly in tears at the end of it all. I remained melancholy as before. But as I looked down, I noticed there was Detective Chimp before my great mossy bare feet. The Chimp said we would discuss tomorrow's golf game at the wake. Barefoot Abby wondered who could have rattled the Chimp's chain so much. Barefoot Suzy then whistled innocently. Of course!
At the wake, the confident and beautiful Barefoot Wonder Woman greeted us and vouched for Barefoot Abby as a great help to her, and she asked if the Barefoot Wonder Girl could spend the weekend with us, since the Titans Tower was undergoing repairs and rebuilding? Barefoot Abby said she would be glad to have Barefoot Cassie stay at her house in Houma for a couple of days. Barefoot Tefé was most excited about this, for she has taken quite a shine to her newest of barefoot girlfriends, Barefoot Cassie. Barefoot Lady Blackhawk arrived to usher us to her jet. Detective Chimp rushed up to me and said, "Not so fast." He imposed that he was the best golf player of any species or kingdom. He said he could take me in any game. I told him that we would see about that, as he would have to beat the record Barefoot Suzy set first. He said he already did so and beat the Barefoot Black Orchid at golf sometime last week. Only because he'd cheated and distracted her, was Barefoot Suzy's defense. "Overripe bananas." the Chimp said. The Barefoot Orchid nearly got into a outrage over this, but the Barefoot Wonder Girl restrained her. Barefoot Cassie settled things, by saying Conner loved all kinds of sports, and a golf game in his memory would be a decent and good way to honor him. The Chimp agreed, and said he would meet us tomorrow. Yes indeed, I will show the Chimp which one of us is "cool." I think Conner Kent would approve and smile kindly upon this. May Superboy rest in peace, for he will always be remembered for his noble heart and heroic deeds.