Monday, May 15, 2006

Barefoot Tefé: Not A Fan Of Booster Gold.

Beware False Prophets. And Corporate Sponsors!

As she relaxed nude in front of the television, the beautiful Barefoot Tefé came to realize her patience in suffering fools in the media wears thin. She perceives the perplexing celebrity status of Booster Gold for example, as a sign of the problems in human society to come:

re: Barefoot Tefé Holland wrote:

"Dad. We finally have TV reception here in Houma again, and guess who's stealing airtime on every single channel. Guess! That's right, Booster Gold! That lamebrain techno-super-idiot (who must think punching reporters in the nose he disagrees with is a good idea!) Booster Gold has got commercials, primetime coverage specials, media news circuses, even a big movie deal he's got coming up. It's getting to the point we can't even sit down to watch the tube without seeing this freejacked moron getting way too much airtime anymore. There's all this talk about Booster knowing the future and wanting to change his destiny. This idea is just plain stupid. He should have just taken the hint when the Justice League didn't reform and beat it. But no, he's still around. Just a glutton for punishment. I hope somebody settles his hash and he'll disappear in a few months. Anyway, there's plenty of stupidity to go around. The Principal called me and Mom in after school today and tried to tell us he was going to flunk me out of my damned diploma and make me repeat senior year! After all the hard work I've done to catch up on all my skip days and failed tests, that's all the thanks I get! Mom was even more pissed than I was. Mom said she was going to take this to the Board of Education if she had to. She laid the guilt trip down on him pretty heavy, saying how hard it's been for us. She even referenced you to this nitwit. Mom still talks about you like you're a normal man with an extremely difficult social disability, just to explain why you can't get involved in this kind of crap. It's just so weird. I imagine if you did show up to complain about my mistreatment in the Principal's office, he'd change his tune about me real fast! Anyway, while wasting my time watching stupid-ass Booster Gold on the aptly-named idiot box at home, Mom got to calling. She called up James Gordon out east in New Jersey for some reason, thinking the old coot who used to run the Gotham City police department could be of some help to us. Not only did Mom try to talk the old geezer into trying to get his old job back from that Akins guy who happens to be running the GCPD into the ground now, she got Gordon to help us somehow. I don't know what he told her. Mom hung up after a thankful good-bye and said he was going to reach some person who could fix things for me. She didn't know who. After a while, Mom got a call from the Principal at home saying he could straighten things out with the teachers. I am going to graduate with all my friends on the 20th. And that's assuming Jason Woodrue, King Toad, Nerk and Bob, or even Uncle Anton don't show up again to give us hell before then. Things are getting better I suppose. I wish Booster Gold would go away. His fifteen minute fame time is over! Goldenboy's so lame. He'll never be a real hero like you. He'd already know that, if he really is from the future. You're the hero who keeps us safe, even if you wussed out on stomping King Toad. You're still the best. I wish people would realize that.

Love you, Dad! Always, Barefoot Tefé."

Clearly Booster Gold's rise to fame, however fleeting, is simply meant to be. However, given my experiences I would provide him with this timeless warning, "Beware when playing with fire. In time you might very well be burned!" Never can this saying be any more true, when striving for fame and fortune in the public view. Let us hope such a fate never befalls Houma, or the good people out here in the bayou.

Zombie Attack!


Post a Comment

<< Home