Tuesday, April 18, 2006

The Latest News From Barefoot Abby.

My Barefoot Wife. Always One To Count On In Times Of Need.

Barefoot Abby has more information on the Barefoot Lady Bulleteer and brings forth the latest revelation: the Infinite Crisis may be far from over.

re: Barefoot Abigail Arcane-Cable-Holland wrote:

"Hi, Alec! I've got some good news and some bad news. First, the good: Barefoot Alix is off the hook in the assault case. Barefoot Sally Sonic is still in her coma, she may not be revived for another six months! Fortunately, we have the Barefoot Lady Bulleteer in the clear. I think her credentials as a real professional barefoot superheroine are starting to kick in. I got her to quiet down about this whole Vigilante and "wanting to quit" thing, and convinced her to accept Barefoot Lady Oracle's offer to take her to Metropolis to check out what's happening there. That's the bad news, apparently, there's a hoarde of supervillains in mass there, for some strange reason. That puts Metropolis in a lot more danger than even Superman can handle alone. I told Barefoot Alix she's got to make a choice here, either volunteer for the big leagues [or what little the superheroes have left] or else retire completely and try to find a cure for her metallic condition. Barefoot Alix seemed to respond to the need to protect innocent lives, and having fought two monsters myself last month, I should know! The nanotech-preservative encasement she's been subjected to protects her mostly, and amplifies her athletic strength. I assured her if anyone should take the risk of an organized villain attack in Metropolis anytime soon, then she's qualified. Anyway, the Barefoot Lady Bulleteer says she's ready for anything now, and thanked me for the encouragement in helping her to be the best barefoot superheroine she can be. Hey, what good of a mentor would I be if I wasn't there for Barefoot Alix when she needs me. Now I know how good you are with providing a good influence for Barefoot Suzy. It's really nice. While Barefoot Alix signed off on the necessary legal papers her current field handlers require to turn her over to this mysterious "Barefoot Lady Oracle" person that Barefoot Lady Blackhawk enlisted the Barefoot Lady Bulleteer to join as a subsidary member of the so-called barefoot superheroine-driven team called the "Barefoot Birds of Prey", Barefoot Alix pointed out her apartment had a really nice pool and got me in there first, for some refreshing healthy swimming and wonderful nude sunbathing. Yes! Blessed be!"

"It was so good to have a nice nude swim today! Swimming really tends to take my mind off my concerns. Anyway, we took these pics of me a few hours ago. Hope you like them. We're with Barefoot Lady Blackhawk now, I'll be seeing you later tonight or tomorrow morning. Then the Barefoot Lady Bulleteer will be shot off to Metropolis to await further instructions from Barefoot Lady Oracle. Barefoot Alix isn't so nervous anymore, or nearly so scared now. She's so strong now, without all the self-doubt. I really do think she's going to be all right. We should send the Barefoot Black Orchid on along for this as well. Barefoot Alix and Barefoot Suzy should team-up. The Barefoot Lady Bulleteer and the Barefoot Black Orchid would make a fine team. And hey, we both have barefoot protégées now! It's so pleasing we can have something even more in common. I love you. I'll be with you soon, Barefoot Abby."

This situation is most unsettling. While I am happy to learn the Barefoot Lady Bulleteer is finding her way, and Barefoot Abby is most gratified by Barefoot Alix's improvement, an all-out war with the Villains United Society is most disconcerting. Should we allow the Barefoot Black Orchid to get into harm's way as well? Should I wage war into the conflict myself and completely disregard Constantine's warnings? And what of Barefoot Poison Ivy? Woodrue? King Toad? There is so much to consider. Time may be running out for all of us.

Miami: A City Of Vampires?


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