Sunday, May 28, 2006

Barefoot Tefé's Cult Experience.

Was Barefoot Tefé's New Faith Misplaced?

Barefoot Tefé and Barefoot Zaina took part in the activities of Barefoot Cassandra Sandsmark's cult this weekend. Barefoot Tefé has learned a lot about herself in this experience, as her e-mail demonstrates:

re: Barefoot Tefé Holland wrote:

"Dad. I went to Titans Tower and met with Barefoot Cassie yesterday. Barefoot Zaina and I were ordained into her cult just a few hours afterward. It was actually kind of fun. Barefoot Zaina kept telling me how hot I looked in the black and red hooded robes we wear. She's so damn shallow, but that's why I love her so much, because Barefoot Zaina's crazy about me. Barefoot Cassie, on the other hand, is just plain crazy. Anyway, Ralph Dibny was really stand-offish about joining, and he's been a part of this almost as long as Barefoot Cassie. He didn't like it that the older members of the cult like himself weren't talking, and the younger members like me didn't really know anything, but that we were just along for the ride. Dibny wanted answers. He's been staying with Barefoot Cassie for well over a week now, but he doesn't feel the intimacy has availed him very much. Dibny thinks Barefoot Cassie is using him. I'm not surprised. Today we went down into an underground cavern under Titans Tower where Dibny was to finally have his initiation.

He wanted to know about the cult's promise of resurrection. He thinks Barefoot Cassie is going to bring Conner Kent back to life, and if she does then Dibny wants his barefoot wife, Barefoot Sue back as well. There was a pool of water in the caves the believers say, “immersions in the striped waters of the river Memon granted visions of the afterlife”. They asked Dibny to get in and told him the payment is not money but something more significant. He said that Barefoot Sue was all he had. Barefoot Cassie held his hand tightly. We then submerged him in the water. When he came back up he found himself alone. Our group was gone, heading back to the surface via a secret route. He must have learned as well that his wedding ring to his dead barefoot wife was gone. Barefoot Cassie snagged it, before she shoved him under the water. What a very un-superhero thing to do. A Teen Titan robbing a former Justice League member. Really! What a way to break things off. Dibny must have really felt put out. I wonder if he really saw the afterlife when he was underwater? It was probably a one-shot deal anyway. Guess I'm not going to find out what happens next, because at our high temple of worship, Barefoot Zaina got impatient and wanted to make out with me. It's not that kind of cult, wait until after hours I told her. Barefoot Zaina didn't get it. She was reprimanded by Barefoot Cassie for not giving Conner his proper praise. Barefoot Zaina said we can't make churches for every superhero who dies while saving the world. Barefoot Cassie rejected her from the cult and told her to leave, as she was an unbeliever. I opted to leave, too. Barefoot Cassie asked why should I depart the cult? Don't I want to restore my lost powers and reunify my still-remaining connection to the Green? She says if I don't do that, then I'll eventually suffer the same fate as Barefoot Lady Jade, only it will happen here on Earth. I said I've lost enough, and I don't want to lose Barefoot Zaina too. I know this Kryptonian connection thing is the right track, what with Superman's near death experiences before Doomsday, one of which you were involved in saving Superman from his Scarlet Jungle Fever, Dad. But I have to look after Barefoot Zaina. She could get into some pretty bad stuff again. Anyhow, Sunday School's over for me. I'm out of the cult and as soon as I take Barefoot Zaina home, I'll be back with Mom soon enough. I still wish I knew how all this cult business will turn out.
Now completely nude and free up again, and left alone to explore the underground caverns further down, I took a rather unexpected dip in one of Brother Blood's Lazarus Pit bloodbaths Barefoot Lady Raven still bathes nude in all her mystic summoning and divining rituals. The ledge crumbled under my bare feet, plunging me on down into it. Bless My Barefoot Goddess, I'll never forget what that blood was like. Just couldn't believe I was swimming in all that fucking mystic blood!

The pool was heated, yet a chill ran up my spine, my big nude tits hardened. And that taste? Only a vampire could love it. And I know they have. Nasty! Yuck! Hell, there's nothing like having the full cult experience! A barefoot lady of faith couldn't ask for more sensation than this! What fun! Anyway, I showered under the waterfall and later on we went swimming nude in the caves tonight and camped out there afterwords. Barefoot Zaina likes the way our voices are echoing in these awesome caverns. Still no visions of the afterlife, though. No matter how long I try to hold my breath and stay down nude underwater. I think we can work things out. I can't wait to see you again. You're still the best Dad ever, even if you screw things up a lot. Tell Mom I'm doing fine. Turns out Barefoot Zaina had 175 dollars more in travel money than I thought we had, and--Oh, crap! That's Mr. Dibny's credit card. Damn. Barefoot Zaina took his wallet. Well, this certainly sucks. We've gotta get the hell out of here, in case he comes back. That guy's a fucking psychopath. We better haul ass, real fast! Talk to you later, Dad. Love, Barefoot Tefé."

Barefoot Tefé will be returning home soon. This is very good news indeed. Perhaps her interaction with this cult has prepared her to deal with the dangerous times we have ahead of us.

The Question: Seeking Answers.


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